Papal Simplicity Installs Bucket Shower in Vatican Apartment

Pope Leo XIV has ditched the Vatican�s marble bath for a bucket and sponge. �If it was good enough for Augustine, it�s good enough for my armpits,� he said, scrubbing beneath his cassock. The Pope�s bucket, labeled �Sacred Splash,� has already appeared in 500 pilgrim selfies. Vatican plumbers are protesting what they call �blessed regression.� Meanwhile, spiritual tourists now book tours to sniff the sponge. �It smells like sandalwood and humility,� said one. Papal hygiene products are expected next quarter, including *Baptism Body Wash* and *Holy Loofah.*