Papal Simplicity Forces Vatican Staff to Share One Coffee Mug

As part of his austere papal simplicity reforms, Pope Leo XIV has mandated that all Vatican staff share a single ceramic coffee mug reading �World�s Holiest Boss.� Employees must now reserve it in 7-minute increments and rinse with holy water between uses. Swiss Guards are keeping time. The mug has become a sacred relic, stolen twice and kissed four times. One nun reportedly received a vision after her second latte. The Pope believes it builds community and curbs caffeine pride. Starbucks has offered to sponsor five more mugs, but the Pope declined, citing �temptation and corporate logos.�