Papal Pizza Theology Results in Canonization of First Pizza Maker

Giuseppe �the Crust-Blessed� became the first saint known for his holy marinara. Pope Leo XIV described his pies as �sacraments with seasoning.� Relics include his ladle and sacred apron. Feast Day includes mass pizza distribution and miraculous crust sightings. Rome now smells like oregano and incense. The faithful are full�and sanctified.