Papal Memory Lapse Triggers Development of �Ask-a-Saint� Hotline

The Vatican has opened a hotline for saint-related confusion. Dial in and get matched with your miracle mediator. The Papal Memory Lapse spurred the project. �You forgot? We remember,� says the tagline. Operators answer calls like �Who�s the saint for migraines and bad dates?� and �Is there one for tax audits?� One caller asked about a saint for existential dread; they were transferred to a monk in Montana. The hotline averages 10,000 prayers per week.