Panty Pooping Accident Vk
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Panty Pooping Accident Vk
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Brad “Actually Problematic” Pitt
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Don't worry, too much, girls..... Most Men Don't actually 'Mind' their Girlfriend's Poop- or pee or Sick, for that matter
As Harper Lee once said, “You never really know a person, until they’ve told you the story of the time they pooed their pants in public.”
Technically that’s not what Lee said, but it’s certainly what she meant.
Sh*tting one’s pants is the ultimate war story, passed down from generation to generation, with details of sounds, smells and facial expressions imperative to the narrative.
I collected my three favourite pooping pants stories as a gift to women everywhere. Even though we know exactly how each will end, we can’t help but wonder: How? When? Where? And most importantly, what can I do to ensure I don’t poo my pants while wearing active wear at the airport?
“I was 22 and had met my new boyfriend, Mark, through a mutual friend. I had fallen so hard for him and was really desperate to impress him.
About a month in, we decided to go to a music festival together and stay in his van which had a mattress in the back.
The first night was great, even though I probably drank too much. When I woke up the next morning I thought I had a dreadful hangover and felt extremely nauseous. I tried to get up to go to the bathroom, and passed out before I even stood up.
I realised this definitely was not a bad hangover. It was food poisoning. And then it began.
I vomited out the back of the car, at which point he woke up, having no idea what to do.
I felt a really intense cramp in my stomach and suddenly I had no control. I pooed in the back of my boyfriend’s van.
He could definitely hear it, and suddenly I just started cry and kept saying, ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. Can you leave me alone for a bit?’
I was desperate to clean everything up, but again, I just kept vomiting and pooing and could not stop.
It was by far the worst moment of my life.
I eventually managed to clean myself up as best as I could, but we ended up having to go home… and the smell in the van. I can’t even describe it.
Five years later we’re still together, but I get really mad if he ever brings it up.”
“You have not lived, until you find yourself standing next to your girlfriend, with poo running down the leg of your very expensive tights.
We were on our way home from a trip to Vietnam and I had come down with awful food poisoning. It was instantaneous. As soon as I took a mouthful, I knew I was sick, and it lasted days.
On day two, we were flying home, and I could barely walk. We took a bus and then a taxi to the airport, and the whole time I was using every muscle in my body to make sure I didn’t sh*t myself.
I kept getting goosebumps and shaking the pain was so intense. It was a nightmare.
Anyway, we arrived at the airport and we got stuck in this super long line. Then, out of nowhere, it happened. It was… explosive. And it kept coming. I was standing there in a queue, with poo literally running down my legs.
I had to think fast, so grabbed a pair of trackies from my suitcase, and said to my partner ‘I’m just going to get changed so I’m comfortable for the flight’. Although she didn’t say much… I think she semi knew what had happened.
Changing out of my tights was so disgusting I don’t even have the words. I had wipes in my bag so did my best to clean myself up but I just felt awful. The tights then went in the bin.
That was the longest, most uncomfortable flight of my life.”
“I am lactose intolerant, but eat lactose as though I am not.
Anyway, I went out to a cafe for brunch with a few friends and ordered the bircher muesli and a milkshake.
I didn’t feel great after, but just ignored it. That’s until I got into the car.
I had to stop on the way home at a supermarket, desperately searching for a toilet. But then it subsided. I decided I would be fine.
I jumped back into the car and it was only a 10 minute drive until I was home. That’s when my stomach started to grumble again, and there was no turning back.
When I got a red light, I started to panic. This was an emergency. I clenched and hoped and wished and prayed, but none of it worked.
Right there in the driver’s seat of my Toyota Corolla, I pooed my pants.
And still, to this day, I eat lactose.”
It's okay ladies we all have our accidents, and if the guy really loves you he will understand.
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Shit happens . One unidentified woman’s twerkout took a turn for the worse when she tried to dump it down low and ended up just plain taking a dump.
The unfortunate yet hilarious incident was all caught on tape . Thus, we can show you better than we can tell you.
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From Peeing Their Pants to Sharting Celebrities’ Most Embarrassing Emergency Toilet Stories
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Most people would be absolutely mortified if they ever, you know, pooped their pants in front of witnesses. But that was exactly what happened to these celebs, and Kim Kardashian and Ed Sheeran didn't skimp on the cringeworthy details either!
Click through the gallery to see which celebs had embarrassing bathroom mishaps.
“I once had really bad diarrhea at a Playboy autograph signing," she said . "I was squeezed into a tight red dress, dripping in sweat, and knew something was not right. I just kept having my picture taken with the fans. But then I was like, ‘Oh no, the demon is about to be unleashed.’ And it was unleashed for about 20 guys to witness. I knew at that point in my career all I was supposed to do was turn men on, but just ended up grossing them out.”
"So I just remember dancing and on stage in the midst of all that, I … is it like sharted?" he said . "The crowd didn't know it, and I had like an outfit change coming up, so I said, 'Yeah, I can hold it out one more song,' and this is real disgusting and too descriptive, it was just … I just remember it running down my leg."
"[Peeing myself was] the most unattractive moment of my life," she said . "We were late for stage, driving down the freeway, it's Friday traffic. I'm running on and we jump and do 'Let's Get It Started', and I get crazy and I jump and I run across the stage and my adrenaline was going and gosh…I wish it didn't happen. It was so embarrassing!"
“I went to the emergency room, I had this really bad pain for three weeks," she said . "And you can only s— your pants so many times a day before you like have to go to the emergency room, and you’re like ‘I have to go to the hospital.’"
"[I] ate something I wasn't supposed to," he said . "And as I'm walking to the press room… I gotta pass a little gas here. I'm walking by myself. Who's gonna know? Only a little something extra came out…I pooped my pants. Not horribly, but enough that I knew. I was panicking, so I got to the restroom of the press room, threw out the underwear and just went commando."
“I go down to the stage, getting ready for my first number…and I’m like, 'I really need to go again.' [The routine is] the most cardiovascular song I’ve ever done — literally I’m picking up Belle and as I pick her up, I stopped singing and right in that moment I realized the muscles you need to release in order to sing are the ones you do not want to release if you need to go," he said on Rachel Ray .
"I actually once misjudged a fart onstage, which ended up being a shart. It was like midway through a performance and I was really lively and halfway through, I was like, 'I'm just gonna stand still for the rest of this performance and hope it's over soon,' and then go home and throw these trousers out," he said .
"I asked the aide if I could go to the bathroom," he said . "And he said, ‘You have to go real quick.’ I run to the bathroom, and I’m trying to go fast — I’m trying to pee quickly — so I’m sort of pushing to get the pee out. It’s too much pressure, and out the back…pop! I’m at a urinal and boom, out the back. So I’ve got wet underwear, and the mayor is waiting for me. I couldn’t do anything, so I followed the aide and they took me to the waiting area and I stood there for 45 minutes, and I’m sort of just drying off. So I stood next to the mayor of New York City, and I did the whole thing with poop in my pants."
"I was driving and the hairs on my arm started to rise. I was heavy breathing, because I’m about to have a butt baby, because I am crowning," he said . "I kept driving. You know how in New Orleans, right before the levees burst, they’re like, ‘What if we just let a little water out, to relieve the pressure?’ I let a little water out of my levees, like a Hershey’s Kiss that’s been sitting in the sun too long. I hovered over my steering wheel for leverage, and my body was like, ‘NO, WE WANT IT ALL.’ So I was sitting there, and I just filled my underwear with, like, a travel-size pillow worth of brisket. Then I waddled inside, took a shower, and had a four-hour shame nap.”
"I always pee all over my Spanx, it’s a disaster," she has said . "They aren’t crotchless enough!”
"I just went to Iceland and tried to do a small expedition across the glacier and we didn't make it. We had to be emergency evacuated as there was a white out blizzard which I got to take a poop in. It actually freezes before it hits the ground," he said .
"So I went to the dentist today and got multiple [root] canals," she tweeted . "Anyway, I was there for 8 hours getting all these cavities etc [sic] fixed. BUT that's not my story for the day. The real story is I peed my pants. Its mildly amusing or I wouldn't mention it, but I feel we need to talk about it."
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