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Cedars-Sinai
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What Women Need to Know About Pain During Sex
Sexual health is worth prioritizing
Dryness is a common cause of pain during sex
Many conditions may cause pain during sex
Cedars-Sinai
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What Women Need to Know About Pain During Sex
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Sep 12, 2018
Cedars-Sinai Staff
Pain during sex is a common problem for women.
As many as 75% of women will experience pain during sex at some point, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. For many women, the pain is rare or happens only once, but for others it’s persistent.
"Some women may have experienced sexual joy, but then at some point in their life, it becomes painful," says Dr. Karyn Eilber . "They may stop having sex with their partners. Whether your pain is mild or severe, if it bothers you and it’s inhibiting you from having sex, you should definitely talk to you doctor."
Dr. Eilber and Dr. Alexandra Dubinskaya treat women with sexual dysfunction and study its causes. Here’s what they think women should know about painful sex:
"Like mental health, sexual health can carry a stigma. Mental health is slowly losing that stigma, and sexual health needs to follow that trend. We can look at these things as health conditions and normalize having these conversations as part of our regular healthcare."
Just because painful sex is very common, that doesn’t mean you have to accept it as "normal." Occasional minor soreness is likely nothing to worry about, but intense or frequent pain is worth having a conversation with your doctor.
Sex should be a pleasurable experience, and if it’s not, don’t hesitate to speak up to your partner and your doctor.
Many women are hesitant to bring up sexual problems with their doctors, Dr. Eilber says.
"It can feel embarrassing," she says. "It’s difficult enough to share with our partners and friends, so telling a doctor—a stranger—can feel intimidating."
"Like mental health, sexual health can carry a stigma," she says. "Mental health is slowly losing that stigma, and sexual health needs to follow that trend. We can look at these things as health conditions and normalize having these conversations as part of our regular healthcare."
Dryness is one of the most common causes of painful sex, and it can occur in any woman at any age. While it is more common in peri-menopausal and post-menopausal women, younger women can experience it as well.
In addition to making sex painful, dryness can throw off the vagina’s balance of good bacteria, which can result in infections that contribute to painful sex. Dryness can happen for many reasons including birth control use, breastfeeding and menopause.
"It’s normal to use a personal lubricant," says Dr. Dubinskaya. "There are studies that show women who use their personal lubricant while having intercourse experience more pleasure.
I think it’s important for people and their partners to recognize that just because a woman isn’t lubricating does not mean she isn’t aroused."
Drs. Eilber and Dubinskaya suggest approaching lubricants in the same way many women consider skin care products: Pay attention to the ingredients and test it on a small patch of skin first to make sure it doesn’t cause irritation.
Dryness is the most frequent reason, but there are many other reasons sex might become painful. Some conditions that can be at the root of the problem:
Painful sex usually has a cause, and once it’s identified, it’s likely treatable. If you’re avoiding sex, it’s time to see your doctor. Your gynecologist is often the best place to start, as they’re likely to be able to accurately diagnose the cause of the pain.
Many women are reluctant to talk about any issues they're having in the pelvic region, whether it's a prolapse , incontinence or painful sex. Many don't open up to friends or loved ones about these issues, and as a result, these problems seem kind of mysterious to the average person.
"I think as women, we often tend to blame ourselves," Dr. Eilber says. "That can definitely contribute to the pain and to sexual dysfunction. I think the more resources we can make available, and the more we’re able to talk openly about these issues, the more beneficial it will be."
Cedars-Sinai ’s blog and digital publications tell the stories of thriving patients, dedicated caregivers, and brilliant clinician-scientists. Plus, we offer tips on how to live healthfully and make the most of your doctor’s visits.
© 2022 Cedars-Sinai. All Rights Reserved. A 501(c)(3) non-profit organization
Medically Reviewed by Traci C. Johnson, MD on August 23, 2022
Intercourse pain, or dyspareunia, can cause problems in a couple's sexual relationship. In addition to the physically painful sex , there is also the possibility of negative emotional effects. So the problem should be addressed as soon as it arises.
In many cases, a woman can experience painful sex if there is not sufficient vaginal lubrication. When this occurs, the pain can be resolved if the female becomes more relaxed, if the amount of foreplay is increased, or if the couple uses a sexual lubricant.
In some cases, a woman can experience painful sex if one of the following conditions is present:
Vulvodynia . This refers to chronic pain that affects a woman's external sexual organs -- collectively called the vulva -- including the labia, clitoris, and vaginal opening. It may occur in just one spot, or affect different areas from one time to the next. Doctors don't know what causes it, and there is no known cure. But self-care combined with medical treatments can help bring relief.
Some treatments for painful sex in women do not require medical treatment. For example, painful sex after pregnancy can be addressed by waiting at least six weeks after childbirth before having intercourse. Make sure to practice gentleness and patience. In cases in which there is vaginal dryness or a lack of lubrication, try water-based lubricants.
Some treatments for female sexual pain do require a doctor's care. If vaginal dryness is due to menopause, ask a health care professional about estrogen creams or other prescription medications. Other causes of painful intercourse may also require prescription drugs .
For cases of sexual pain in which there is no underlying medical cause, sexual therapy might be helpful. Some individuals may need to resolve issues such as guilt, inner conflicts regarding sex , or feelings regarding past abuse.
Call a doctor if there are symptoms such as bleeding, genital lesions, irregular periods , vaginal discharge , or involuntary vaginal muscle contractions . Ask for a referral to a certified sex counselor if there are other concerns that need to be addressed.
13 things that can kill your sex drive.
© 2005 - 2022 WebMD LLC. All rights reserved.
WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.
Planned Parenthood has a partner website about sexual health topics specifically for Nigeria. Would you like to go to the Nigeria website?
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By
Amy @ Planned Parenthood
|
Jan. 28, 2011, 5:16 p.m.
Is it painful for girls to have sex for the first time??
Some girls experience pain the first time they have vaginal intercourse. They may have so much hymenal tissue that stretching it open during first intercourse may cause pain and bleeding. Girls with a lot of hymenal tissue can prepare for first intercourse by slowly stretching the tissue with their fingers.
People define “sex” in different ways. The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines it as “sexually motivated behavior.” This sounds right to us. But not everyone agrees with the dictionary or with us. People all have their own definitions of what “sex” and “having sex” means.
For many people, “having sex” means engaging in a range of intimate, physical behaviors by yourself or with another person or persons that can often (but not always) involve the genitals. For some people it’s only penis-in-vagina intercourse. For some people it’s only penis-in-anus intercourse. For some people it’s genital rubbing without intercourse. For some people it includes oral / genital contact. For some it includes masturbation. The possibilities are many. For most experts (like Merriam-Webster and us) it includes all the above.
Anal sex can hurt if partners do not take certain steps. The anus does not usually produce enough lubrication for comfortable anal sex, so it’s important to use an artificial water-based lubricant — like K-Y jelly or Astroglide — for anal sex. (Using an oil-based lubricant, like Vaseline, can damage latex condoms.) Lubricants can make vaginal intercourse more comfortable as well.
It’s also important to stop doing it if anything hurts and communicate with your partner about how you feel — sex that’s painful or uncomfortable should not continue.
However you define it, being sexual with another person — whether that means kissing, touching, or intercourse — involves a lot of responsibility. It’s very important to protect yourself against pregnancy and STDs . And you need to make decisions about protection before you engage in vaginal, anal, or oral sex
Learn more about sex and virginity .
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