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A Michigan mom who fell in love with her biological son says a rare “genetic” phenomenon is responsible for their red-hot romance.
Kim West, 57, got pregnant as a teenager, and gave up her baby boy, Ben Ford, for adoption in the mid-1980s.
Ford, who is now 38, tracked down his mother eight years ago, and the pair formed a close bond. Things quickly turned sexual, and they went public with their incestuous relationship in 2016, with West boasting she had “mind-blowing sex” with her son.
The couple has subsequently kept a low profile in a bid to avoid being prosecuted for their illegal sexual relations, but say science is the reason they can’t keep their hands off each other.
“This is not incest, it is GSA. We are like peas in a pod and are meant to be together,” West declared to New Day, speaking about a phenomenon known as “genetic sexual attraction.”
The phenomenon was first identified back in the 1980s by Barbara Gonyo, a woman who ran a Chicago-based support group for adoptees and their newfound relatives. She coined the term “GSA” after noting that numerous people associated with the group became sexually attracted to their family members when they first met as adults.
Psychologist Corinne Sweet previously told New Day that she has come across the phenomenon while treating patients who had been in foster homes.
“At a genetic level, we are conditioned to find people who look like us attractive,” Sweet stated. “We have an almost tribal connection with family members with similar features. At the same time, people who are adopted or fostered feel deeply rejected. They have experienced a profound wound which isn’t easily healed.”
She further explained: “So when a son meets his birth mother, he feels a great rush of need. There’s an attraction and a longing there, and when it’s combined with the appeal of genetic similarity, it becomes a very powerful and complex cocktail which is incredibly seductive.”
However, other medical experts are skeptical of GSA, with New York City sex therapist Ian Kerner telling Women’s Health that the phenomenon has never been scientifically studied.
“I think that our mating systems tend to seek out genetic difference more than similarity,” he declared. “In the case of incest or romantic love between family members, I think you have to look at it case by case instead of generalizing it as a disorder or genetic condition.”
Meanwhile, clinical psychologist John Mayer bluntly told the magazine: “My professional opinion is that GSA is an excuse to give these people permission to break social norms.”
However, West and Ford say GSA adequately explains the instant attraction they felt for one another.
“I know people will say we’re disgusting, that we should be able to control our feelings, but when you’re hit by a love so consuming you are willing to give up everything for it, you have to fight for it,” West told New Day.
The loved-up mama continued: “It’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance and something Ben and I are not willing to walk away from.”
Her equally shameless son stated: “When I met Kim, I couldn’t think of her as my mom but instead as a sexual being. I had seen a therapist at an adoption support group and had learned about the GSA phenomenon.”
Making their relationship more shocking was the fact that Ford was married at the time they met. The smitten son soon dumped his wife in order to be in a relationship with his mom.
Ford told New Day that he couldn’t get his mother off his mind, saying to his spouse: “Every time I have had sex with you since I met her, I imagine it’s her I am kissing, otherwise I can’t perform.”
Meanwhile, West said it felt as if she and her son had “known each other for years” after they met as adults, describing their sex as “incredible” and “mind-blowing.”
But the couple should be careful about bragging about their hot sex, as incestuous relationships between adults are punishable by up to 15 years in prison in their home state of Michigan.
Anyone found guilty of such an offense would be required to sign the sex offenders registry for life.
By Kitty Stryker Published: May 3, 2016
It took me many years and 3,000 miles of distance for me to realize my mother was not just a parent, but a person with life experiences of her own.
As I worked and blogged under a different name, I didn't think she would ever find out. She did.
My mother never told me to quit. She never told me I had made a bad decision.
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Can a parent ever accept her daughter's work as a porn star? Mine did.
I had a tense and antagonistic relationship with my mother when I was growing up. At the age of 16, I was sure that I would never speak to her again once I could move out of the house. We were too dissimilar: she, a methodical scientist and introvert; me, a free-spirited writer and extrovert. The tchotchkes around the house that gave her such joy made me want to scream, and the pop culture I adored seemed toxic and damaging to her feminist politics.
It took me many years and 3,000 miles of distance for me to realize my mother was not just a parent, but a person with life experiences of her own. While I thought that she was just trying to ruin my life (as teenagers are wont to believe) I realize now how she was trying to protect me from the trauma that she experienced when she was my age. Thankfully, we now have a deeply loving, playfully teasing relationship — not just as mother and daughter, but as friends.
And we got there thanks, in part, to porn.
Yes, that is an incredibly weird thing to say. So many people I know can barely talk to their parents about sex, or their queer identity, or their multiple partners, never mind their lives as sex workers. I've always been grateful that my mother encouraged me to ask any and all questions that my public schools couldn't answer — questions like, "Oh my god, are the lumps under my nipples cancer??" (No.) Or, "Does it make me less of a feminist if I fantasize about being dominated?" (No, not if that's what I really want.) That openness was valuable to me.
Still, I tried to hide my work in the porn industry from my mother. She's a second-wave feminist, so I grew up marching next to her at NOW rallies. By the time I was dabbling in the adult industry, I had read enough about the history of feminism to feel pretty confident that she would not welcome my "alternative lifestyle." I didn't feel very close to her at the time, and I certainly did not feel prepared to talk to her about this career choice. As I worked and blogged under a different name, I didn't think she would ever find out.
My mother emailed me to say she had discovered that I was doing sex work — and that I was using the name "Stryker," a family name with which my mother had a difficult relationship. My heart caught in my throat. Not only had I been caught doing sex work, which seemed against her feminist politics, but I was doing it using a name that she hated. I was sure I was about to get disowned.
Incredibly, my mother was amused at my use of the name. In fact, she felt that my using it to do sex work kind of redeemed it for her, which touched my heart. Through that discovery, my mother and I began to talk more, sharing feminist writings on sex work (pro, con, and somewhere in the middle), talking about self-care, and discussing the ins and outs of ethical porn. My mother didn't yell at me, or talk over me, or dictate to me what I should or shouldn't be doing.
She listened when I had great days and felt like porn was the most empowering thing I could do for myself, how I was claiming sexuality in a way that felt safe and fun for me. She listened when I felt insecure about my body, loving my fatness and my curves but also aware that being this way would mean fewer jobs and less respect. She listened when I had a tough day, and felt anxious about the weird power dynamics in the industry.
My mother never told me to quit. She never told me I had made a bad decision. She never asked me how I could be a feminist and a sex worker. She made space for me and my experiences, and she gave me advice or sympathy when I asked. So I found myself reaching out to her more often, grateful for her analysis and her wit. Now, I consider her one of my closest friends.
I know that my decision to have sex on screen wasn't easy for her to wrap her head around. I am so appreciative that she opened a completely unexpected door so we could have the relationship we have today. She's educated herself on various industry issues, becoming a solid and outspoken ally. Knowing she's proud of me — as an entrepreneur, as a writer, and yes, as a sex worker — has made me feel accepted and loved, and I am thankful every day to have been offered that chance for us to get to know each other all over again.
This story is part of an ongoing series about confronting issues with our mothers. Check back every day this week for a new chapter leading up to Mother's Day.
When I Pressed Charges Against My Dad, My Mother Cut Me Out of Her Life
How It Feels to Celebrate Mother's Day After Losing a Child
I Wasn't Allowed to Save My Mother's Life
I'm the Fat Daughter of a Skinny Mom — And It's Tough
I Adore Not Living With My Long-Term Partner
50 'Good Morning' Texts To Start Your Day
122 Love Quotes for Every Hopeless Romantic
30 Games to Spice Up Your Date Night
Good Housekeeping participates in various affiliate marketing programs, which means we may get paid commissions on editorially chosen products purchased through our links to retailer sites.
©Hearst Magazine Media, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
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