Own Cuckold
⚡ ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Own Cuckold
Therapists
:
Login
|
Sign Up
United States
Austin, TX
Brooklyn, NY
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
Houston, TX
Los Angeles, CA
New York, NY
Portland, OR
San Diego, CA
San Francisco, CA
Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
Talk to Someone
Find a Therapist
Find a Treatment Center
Find a Psychiatrist
Find a Support Group
Find Teletherapy
Trending Topics
Coronavirus Disease 2019
Narcissism
Dementia
Bias
Affective Forecasting
Neuroscience
Key points
Female infidelity has a long history of stigma and shame.
In recent years, cuckolding and other forms of female non-monogamy are getting attention (positive and negative) in mainstream media
As shame and stigma around sexual lifestyles decreases, people find healthy, positive ways to integrate sexuality into their lives
Source: Image by Panajiotis via Pixabay
Source: Image by @lindaobella via Pixabay
Source: Image by Takemeomeo via Pixabay
Are you a Therapist?
Get Listed Today
Get Help
Find a Therapist
Find a Treatment Center
Find a Psychiatrist
Find a Support Group
Find Teletherapy
Members
Login
Sign Up
United States
Austin, TX
Brooklyn, NY
Chicago, IL
Denver, CO
Houston, TX
Los Angeles, CA
New York, NY
Portland, OR
San Diego, CA
San Francisco, CA
Seattle, WA
Washington, DC
Mental Health
Addiction
Anxiety
ADHD
Asperger's
Autism
Bipolar Disorder
Chronic Pain
Depression
Eating Disorders
Personality
Passive Aggression
Personality
Shyness
Personal Growth
Goal Setting
Happiness
Positive Psychology
Stopping Smoking
Relationships
Low Sexual Desire
Relationships
Sex
Family Life
Child Development
Parenting
Talk to Someone
Find a Therapist
Find a Treatment Center
Find a Psychiatrist
Find a Support Group
Find Teletherapy
Trending Topics
Coronavirus Disease 2019
Narcissism
Dementia
Bias
Affective Forecasting
Neuroscience
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted January 20, 2022
|
Reviewed by Lybi Ma
In 2008, I first encountered couples who lived what they called the “hotwife” or “cuckold” lifestyle. While I had worked with sexuality issues for many years, I was unfamiliar with this phenomenon. In this lifestyle, the men in these heterosexual relationships encouraged their wives to engage in sexual relations with other men, while the husbands were most often monogamous. In cuckolding, there is often an element of male submission or humiliation involved, whereas in hotwifing, the men are equal partners, and there’s no humiliation involved. My initial reaction was to assume that this practice reflected unhealthy relationships, disturbed attachment , and sexual problems.
Nothing was further from the truth. As I interviewed people around the world who engaged in these practices, I found that most of them were healthy people, exploring sexual desires and confronting taboo and shame. I was forced to confront the degree of morality and bias that had intruded into my clinical thinking and had clouded my judgment.
There had been little to no attention to this sexual lifestyle in mainstream media or research. Though I found that there was a long and rich history of such forms of wife-sharing and permissive female infidelity , it was a dirty, shameful secret. Shakespeare’s plays are filled with humiliation and shame around men being cuckolded by their wives, and that theme has persisted throughout social attitudes and literature. Where consensual cuckolding happened, it was often secret, shameful, and hidden for fear of judgment. Many couples I met kept their sexual lifestyle secret, even within other sexual communities. I’ll never forget the couple who participated in the swinging community but kept secret the fact that they were interested in cuckolding, because of judgment from swingers that the husband wasn’t also being sexual with other people, and that their relationship was solely focused on the wife’s sexual pleasure.
In recent years, however, mainstream acknowledgment and attention to the commonness of the cuckold and hotwife fantasy and lifestyle has exploded, shifting in extraordinary ways. In 2017, with social psychologist Justin Lehmiller and columnist Dan Savage, we published the first-ever psychological research study of people who fantasized about cuckolding, particularly in the gay male community. Prior to this, cuckolding had been assumed to be a heterosexual-only phenomenon. That study exposed that many people fantasize about cuckolding—whether they are straight, gay, or bi—and that for many of them, this sexual practice was a healthy part of their lives and loves.
The media exploded, and even Fox News got involved, deriding the idea that cuckolding could ever be healthy. In conservative politics , the term “cuck” is commonly used as an insult, for men who are weak, unmasculine, and uncommitted to their political principles. But, just a few years later, that same conservative community was rocked by the revelations that prominent Republican and religious figure Jerry Falwell Jr. allegedly enjoyed watching his wife engage in sexual behaviors with men, a core component of cuckolding.
In 2018, Justin Lehmiller expanded our research, exploring sexual fantasies and behaviors in his book, Tell Me What You Want , where he shared research that around 45 percent of men sexually fantasize about watching their female partners with other men. These data jibe with the fact that every year, porn-related research indicates that cuckolding-related pornography is extremely and increasingly popular. Colleague Joe Kort described men who explored cuckolding, in his books and blog , but also now began to talk about the women who engage in cuckolding, as well as those women who get excited by sharing their men with other women. As mainstream attention to cuckolding has increased, a fascinating shift has occurred, away from a focus on the male sex fantasy, towards an elevation of the female desires that are the focus of cuckolding.
When I investigated cuckolding and hotwifing, this was a practice almost universally introduced by the husbands to their wives. I heard only rarely, if ever, about women who chose to seek this out themselves, or introduced it independently, for their own interests. It was almost always something that occurred in relationships that had been stable and lasting, and had started monogamously. All of that has changed. Venus Connections is a matchmaking service that pairs single men and women, who are both interested in finding a relationship that includes permissive female infidelity, from the beginning. I interviewed Crystal Welch, a woman who struggled with monogamy and accepted that sexual fidelity didn’t work for her. She sought out a man who accepted that in her, and reports she’s never been happier or more fulfilled.
In Open , an uncensored memoir of love, liberation, and non-monogamy, writer Rachel Krantz dives deeply into exploring her own sexuality and pursuing sex outside the bounds of relationship. “ I see how some women have experienced non-monogamy as a path to some form of liberation ,” Krantz quotes a non-monogamous woman who says, “ They realize, I own my sexuality, I own my body, I am not dependent on any one person. And that in itself is extremely liberating to feel. Especially for women with men. Many women are not getting enough attention and affection and romance. They’re starving, but they’re accepting it. I think it can be extremely freeing to realize they have other avenues to get their needs met. ”
As the shame and secrecy around diverse sexuality decrease, like receding waters, we are uncovering and discovering more of the fascinating, complex nuances that imbue our unique sexualities. Through fostering self-acceptance, more and more people, including women and sexual minorities, are able to create healthy ways to integrate their sexuality into their lives. It’s our job now to listen to them and learn from them.
Facebook image: Motortion Films/Shutterstock
David J. Ley, Ph.D. , is a clinical psychologist and the author of Insatiable Wives, Women Who Stray and The Men Who Love Them .
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
Psychology Today © 2022 Sussex Publishers, LLC
The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Phillip J. Pirages Fine Books and Manuscripts
Wish List
|
Your Account
|
Cart (0 items)
Home
Search
Browse
Catalogues
About Us
Services
Our Videos
Contact Us
Join Our Mailing List
STC and Wing Books
Theater and Performing Arts
Search Our Inventory
Browse Categories
New Arrivals
Featured Items
Leave a Want
About Us
Contact Us
Terms of Sale
Privacy Policy
Accessibility
×
I'd like to be notified of new arrivals in the following categories. Check all categories that are of interest to you.
(London: Printed for J. Tonson, 1696). 221 x 165 mm. (8 3/4 x 6 1/2"). 6 p.l., 56 pp. With a preface by John Dryden [Sr]. FIRST EDITION. 19th century blue half calf with marbled boards, smooth spine with gilt lettering. Title with a few sets of numbers in ink by a contemporary(?) hand. Macdonald 126; Wing D-2403; ESTC R3993. Binding a little worn, with rubbing to joints and extremities, a little loss at head and tail of spine, and some general soiling, otherwise intact and perfectly sound; contents a little browned, scattered (and mostly light) foxing, a large but light dampstain across most leaves, top margin trimmed a little close, other minor imperfections, but despite these faults, a good copy of a very rarely seen work. This is the only dramatic work written by Dryden's second son (1667/8–1701), who also produced a translation of Juvenal and a travel account. The play, with a preface by the elder Dryden and an epilogue by Congreve, has not appeared in auction records since the 1940s. (ST15024c)
Toll free within the United States (800) 962-6666
© 2022 Phillip J. Pirages Fine Books and Manuscripts. All rights reserved. Site Map |
Site by Bibliopolis
(opens in new tab)
(opens in new tab)
(opens in new tab)
Contact me with news and offers from other Future brands
Receive email from us on behalf of our trusted partners or sponsors
(Image credit: Design by Bridget Burns)
More stories to check out before you go
Marie Claire is supported by its audience. When you purchase through links on our site, we may earn an affiliate commission. Here’s why you can trust us .
The psychological motivations may surprise you.
Celebrity news, beauty, fashion advice, and fascinating features, delivered straight to your inbox!
Thank you for signing up to . You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.
Imagine that you're in, say, a decently happy relationship (opens in new tab) , and things are going fine. You're starting to get more comfortable together in the sack (opens in new tab) , so you venture to ask your significant other if they have any sexual fantasies (opens in new tab) they want to explore. You're imagining some handcuffs, maybe, or some doctor-nurse role-play (opens in new tab) .
And then he says: "I want to watch you have sex with another man."
Her (now ex-) husband wanted to arrange sexual encounters for her—and initially, she was game to give it a try. Permission to play around, to cheat (opens in new tab) , to have her cake (a committed relationship with one man) and eat it too (plus hot sex with others)? Sure, why not.
Sometimes he'd view the action on Skype while away on business trips, and other times he would just send Stacey on her way, asking her to come back with a good story.
This practice is called "cuckolding," and Stacey's ex is far from the only guy who likes it. The term is actually meant to be an insult—technically "cuckold" means "the husband of an adultress." But for some men, it's a complex, erotic kind of humiliation and it's experiencing a renaissance of sorts in the dawn of the Pepe-the-frog-wearing alt right.
And then he says: 'I want to watch you have sex with another man.
Why? The men who enjoy having their wives explore extra-marital affairs crave submission. Some men get off on having a wife or girlfriend that other men desire. Some are closeted and want to explore male sexuality. Others derive excitement from seeing their wives or girlfriends fulfilled in new ways. And the term now falls under the alt-right's growing vocabulary (opens in new tab) of emasculating terms for what it sees as whiny protesters ("snowflakes"), overly politically correct liberals ("libtards"), and Republicans sell-outs or really anyone perceived as weak or effeminate ("cuckservatives" or simply "cucks").
The fetish is almost always the man's, not the woman's, says Dr. David J. Ley, author of Insatiable Wives: Women Who Stray and the Men Who Love Them (opens in new tab) . But that doesn't mean cuckolding is all about him. "For couples who make this work, the woman also finds excitement, fulfillment, and stimulation from the sexual exploration of the taboo," Dr. Ley says.
Hell, it worked for Stacey: "Pleasing him pleasured me," she explains. "That and being the center of attention." In fact, she says it was the sexiest and most confident she's ever felt.
"Many happy cuckolds are also voyeurs, and their wives or girlfriends might be exhibitionists," says Dr. Susan Block, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure (opens in new tab) . It's a potentially perfect match, but it can fall apart for many reasons.
Of course any strange fetish is open to psychological interpretation—analyze spanking a partner for being a bad boy, Dr. Freud—but with cuckolding, there may be an actual biological imperative at play. "When a man believes his wife has been with other men, the man's biological passion is increased as he tries to physiologically compete with that other man's sperm," Dr. Ley explains. "The man gets erect sooner, pumps harder during sex, ejaculates harder, and his ejaculate contains more sperm. He gets erect again after sex sooner and wants to have more sex than they'd had previously." Block calls this phenomenon "sperm wars."
For some men, it's a complex, erotic kind of humiliation.
Cuckolding couples are, interestingly, excellent communicators—Dr. Ley says couples who make their arrangement work may be some of the most communicative people he's ever seen. But how hard is it to separate extracurricular sex from couple sex? Do you talk about who you're going to invite into your bedroom at the same time you discuss the cable bill?
Eventually, Stacey got burned out. The dominance and submission seeped into every aspect of her marriage, ultimately leading to its demise. "What began as fulfilling a fantasy quickly became an issue of control and resentment," she says.
Dr. Ley isn't surprised. "For most, it remains an occasional fantasy or kinky sexual activity they indulge from time to time," he says. "But I've seen men who get incredibly self-absorbed and demanding over this fantasy. That's not a healthy dynami
Candid Upskirt Voyeur Upskirt
Cheating Anal San Milf
Sperm Collect