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Even for the most savvy sex adventurers, vibrators can be confusing. Where to put them, how fast to set them, and what exactly to do with them are all valid questions—and most vibrators don’t come with a full-blown how-to guide. Plus, if you’re going to invest in a good toy you want to make sure you’re getting the most, ahem, bang for your buck.
So, my sweet readers, I've put together this guide just for you—whether you're a newbie masturbator or a vibrator connoisseur—based on recs from sex educators and the badass women who literally design sex toys for a living. May you never have a drab vibe sesh again!
The clitoris is an iceberg—there’s much more going on than the eye can see at first glance. The clitoris actually goes all the way down the labia (those flaps of skin around your vulva), so pressing your toy on and around that area can feel excellent, says Alys.
“When you're oh-so close, back off a bit instead of increasing the intensity,” says Alys, “If you know a certain setting gets you off, try playing with a new vibration pattern first. Giving your body time to go through the build up again will make those incredible sensations even stronger.”
You can also go the remote-control route for teasing with a partner. Have your partner start and stop the vibration without touching you using the We-vibe app-controlled vibe . Better yet, wear the vibrator to dinner and let your partner tease you before you even hit the sheets.
Lie face down, put the vibrator underneath you, and grind into it for a fun new way to get off. And to to avoid overstimulation, Alicia Sinclair, creator of Le Wand , recommends you “keep the vibrator and your hips moving,” the entire time you’re playing. Plus, the more you move, the more spots you can explore.
A classic way to use a vibrator is putting it directly on your clit and moving it back and forth, or in circular motions. This is a great technique if you like a lot of direct stimulation, or after you’ve warmed up a bit and want a little more pressure.
Vibrators can also go inside of you! You can hit that G-spot by using a curved vibrator and pulling it towards your belly button. Or, mimic P-in-V sex by thrusting the vibrator in and out. Whether you choose to turn on the vibration, or use your toy as more of a dildo is up to you.
“Vulva-owners can use an internal vibrator to hit their G-spot while their partner uses their mouth on their clitoris," says Alys. (MysteryVibe's Crescendo can be bent into that just-right curve, while also staying out of your partner's face.)
“Penis-owners might also enjoy a vibrator against their shaft or perineum while their partner gives a blow job," she adds.
“Use a toy with a curve or your fingers to reach your G-spot, and add a vibrator to stimulate your clitoris at the same time,” says Sinclair. “Go one-handed by finding a toy that can do both at the same time." For example, Le Wand’s Curve attachment stimulates the G-spot while also sending rumbly vibrations to your clitoris.
By hitting two pleasure points at once, you automatically up the intensity. "And achieving that level of pleasure on your own can be so empowering!” says Sinclair.
Use a vibrator around the rim of your or your partner's anus for a lovely tingly sensation. This is also a great way to slowly introduce anal play before taking the dive into penetration.
Using a tush-safe toy (one that has a larger base so it doesn’t get lost) and a lot of lube, anal penetration and vibrations can be super-pleasurable—especially for those with prostates.
If you’re a real penetration lover, vibrators are your best friend. Mix vaginal and anal penetration for the truly filled-up feeling. Whether you use two vibrators, a vibrator and a finger, or a vibrator and a penis—double penetration is excellent for both solo and partner play time.
Vibrators are more than for just pleasure: “A little known fact about vibrators is that some people have said they help with pelvic and vaginal pain during sex,” sex and consent educator, Emma Kaywin , explains. “Whether you're cramping, have vulvodynia, or other types of vaginal pain, sometimes you just needs a bit of distraction to get ready for penetration or touches.” So starting off your sexy time with some clitoral vibration may help ease you into partner play.
Whether you use a toy that’s actually branded for your neck or repurpose your Magic Wand , help your sore neck out with a little vibrating massage before bed.
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Korin Miller
Korin Miller is a freelance writer specializing in general wellness, sexual health and relationships, and lifestyle trends, with work appearing in Men’s Health, Women’s Health, Self, Glamour, and more.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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No doubt, you have a good thing going with your vibrator. You whip it out when you want (or need) some assistance, it pushes the right buttons, and then you go about your life.
But just like reverting to the same position every time you have sex can get old, experts say you can develop vibe fatigue, too. “It can become routine…and then monotony sets in,” says board-certified clinical sexologist Debra Laino, Ph.D.
You’re also in danger of only being able to orgasm when your vibrator is present. “If you always use the same vibrator in the same way, orgasmically you can become over-reliant,” says clinical sexologist Kat van Kirk, Ph.D.
So try these techniques and positions to make your vibe usage (solo and with a partner) anything but ordinary:
Avoid Your Clitoris
…At first, at least. “Many women have discovered that they find indirect clitoral stimulation to the side or above the clitoris even more arousing,” says van Kirk. So lightly run your vibe up your labia, and circle your clitoris without actually touching it. Once you can’t take it any more, go in for the kill.
Be a Tease
Have your partner slowly run your vibrator up and down your upper thighs, getting close to your clitoris but not quite touching it.
Work Your Neck
Your neck is an erogenous zone , too, so take advantage. Lie back on your bed, close your eyes, and lightly run your vibe up and down one of side of your neck before switching to the other side. “You might be surprised at how much more pleasure there is to be had,” says van Kirk. Once you feel good and turned on, slowly work your way south.
Buddy Up
There’s no reason not to use it on yourself when your partner is there, too. So during a makeout session with your guy, press your vibe up against his perineum (the spot between his anus and penis) to get things going before moving it over to use it on yourself. “ Mutually masturbating can be a nice change,” says Laino, adding that you can also have your guy use it on you while you get him off.
Prop Yourself Up
Lie down in bed, and put a few pillows under your butt to prop yourself up. While your guy is giving you oral, run your vibe back and forth across your nipples.
Hand It Over
Try a little light BDSM : Have your guy loosely tie you up, and let him use your vibrator on you any way he wants. “There's something exciting about not having control,” says Laino.
Get Wet
Prop a waterproof vibrator up on one of the sides of your tub walls, and kneel down in front of it. Grip the side of the tub, press your body against it, and rub your clitoris up and down over the vibe.
A New Twist on Doggy
Lie flat on your stomach, and slip your clitoral vibrator under you. Then, have him penetrate you from behind. This requires little to no effort on your end, so just lay there and enjoy the ride.
Grab a Couples Vibe
Invest in a couple's vibe , like a penis ring with a bullet vibrator, so you can both get stimulated at once. “Couple-oriented penis rings are a great option to make sure you get this stimulation hands-free and he gets to enjoy the sensation as well,” says van Kirk.
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