Orgasm While Sleeping

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Home Sex What to Know About Sleep Orgasms, According to a Woman Who Has Them Twice a Month
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Plus, a sex expert weighs in on what causes them.
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It started when I was in high school, before I even knew what an orgasm was.That’s right—the first time I experienced an orgasm, I was sleeping. In the middle of a dream that had absolutely nothing to do with sex, I felt a down-there tickle.I almost woke up, and then I felt something that I couldn't explain.It swelled and surged like a current through my body. Then, all at once, it was like I was a puppet and my strings were pulled so tight I shot up out of bed.
At the time, I didn't know what had happened—I just knew it was fantastic. But I later learned that I had experienced a sleep orgasm (or "nocturnal orgasm," to use the technical term). According to sex and relationships expert Ian Kerner, PhD, there hasn't been a lot of research on nocturnal orgasms, but many of his patients report experiencing them. "During sleep, the body is relaxed, and in REM phase sleep, there can be increased blood flow," he explains. "I would say [nocturnal orgasms] are a combination of being relaxed, increased blood flow to the genitals, and the possibility of sexy dreams that would increase psychogenic arousal."
For my part, I experience sleep orgasms about twice a month, sometimes more or less depending on how stressed I am. My husband, who is always in bed with me, knows when they happen—and the dream often results in a steamy real-life romp after I wake up.
Let me guess: You're probably wondering how you can orgasm in your sleep. But unfortunately, even after 20 years of experiencing sleep orgasms, I can't necessarily control whether or not I have one. What does seem to help, though, is going to bed feeling super-relaxed. If I'm not tense, I'm much more likely to feel that slight sensation that indicates something is on the way. Once that happens, if I'm lucid enough, I instruct my brain to go with what's happening. (Not sure how to do that? Think about all those times you've talked your way out of a nightmare by telling yourself, This isn't real —you can use the same tactic to reach the big O while dreaming.)
When I feel that unmistakable sensation, my mind clicks, and I try to work within my dream to help it spark like a firework instead of fizzling out. If you are having a sex dream, I find that you can "script" it to be even hotter. And most importantly, if you have the impulse to wake up, don't—try your best to stay in the moment. In my experience, having a sleep orgasm is usually as easy as just not fighting it.

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Make your time in dreamland ahhh-mazing.

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night all hot and bothered and wondered, “ Did I just orgasm in my sleep? ” If so, the answer is probably yes. “Women can have sexy dreams that end in orgasm, just like men,” says Michael Krychman, M.D., ob-gyn and executive director of the Southern California Sexual Health Center . An orgasm is the (insanely good-feeling) rhythmic contraction of your pelvic floor muscles, but it also triggers the release of neurotransmitters that create euphoria in the brain, says Krychman. As you’ll see, the marriage between your brain and body can create sensations that will tempt you to reach for the snooze button time and time again.
Just like a washing machine has cycles, sleep has cycles,” says Jose Colon, M.D., author of The Sleep Diet: a Novel Approach to Insomnia and founder of Paradise Sleep . “The REM cycle is like the active rinse and spin cycle of a washing machine.” Since your brain during REM is about as active as it is when you’re awake, vivid dreams are to be expected. Another fascinating feature of REM sleep is that you’re basically paralyzed, so you can’t just unwittingly slip a hand to your nether regions when things start heating up.
Although you’re not physically bringing them about, those good sensations you feel are very real to your brain. During REM, your body experiences autonomic fluctuations, or the routine blood flow to different parts including your sexual organs. “That increased blood flow causes men to wake up with erections, but it can also cause clitoral engagement in women,” says Colon.
Combine that surge of blood with a sexy dream, and you can eventually dream you’re having an orgasm—or actually have one. “Nerves extend from your brain throughout your body,” says Colon. “There’s a mind-body connection when it comes to sleep orgasms.” Essentially, your body can react as though the dream is happening in real life. Unlike dudes who have physical evidence of their wet dreams, you may not know whether you actually came or just dreamed you did. Luckily, either option can feel pretty darn good. “Even if it’s just a dream, dreams are so intense that it may feel like the real thing,” says Colon.
If you’re really committed to getting it on as you sleep, step into the realm of lucid dreaming. “Lucid dreaming is an awareness that you’re asleep, which sounds like a paradox,” says Colon. “But people can train themselves to be aware of when they’re in their dreams, and then they can manipulate their dreams however they want.” As in, you can realize you’re flying in a dream, direct yourself to an island full of sexy people, and then take your pick.
The first step to lucid dreaming is setting the intention to do it. “When you go to sleep, think about the specific dream scenario you’d like to have,” says Colon. Don’t work yourself up too much, though, and remember: Part of the beauty of sleep is that it should be a landscape of relaxation. Then, every morning, write down your dreams, lucid or otherwise. “If you don’t write it down as soon as you wake up, you’ll probably forget it. This step is important because eventually you’ll see patterns,” says Colon. The more you pick up on patterns in your dreams, the more likely you’ll recognize them when you’re actually dreaming. That aha moment can help push you to take control of how things are proceeding.
Another way to realize you’re not awake is to try to pick out things that don’t fit. For Colon, that realization came when he found himself checking two alarm clocks. “I knew that didn’t fit because I only have one,” says Colon, who often lucid dreams that he’s flying around to explore different places.
Finally, use those midnight stirrings to your advantage. “Waking up four to six times as you sleep is normal," says Colon. "No one sleeps through the night." The heaviest dream period is in the second half of the night. Each time you wake up is the perfect opportunity to reset your intention to lucid dream and then slip into slumber with sexy thoughts on your mind.

https://www.health.com/sex/sleep-orgasms
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19910353/sleep-orgasms/
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Orgasm While Sleeping