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She wants one, you want to give one. Here’s what to do
The female orgasm can seem like a mythical beast. But for those who are willing to put in the groundwork, it’s no more mysterious than figuring out her favourite coffee order.
There are a few general guidelines to follow, but you’ll need to do a bit of tweaking and experimentation to figure out what she really likes (and dislikes).
Here's the ten steps you need know in order to bring her to the boil.
For every bloke worried about lasting longer in the bedroom , there’s a woman who feels self-conscious about taking too long to reach the Big O . It’s more common than you’d think. There’s a simple solution: chill out (we said simple, not easy). A neuroimaging study by Swedish researchers found a relaxed state of mind to be the single most important factor for women in achieving orgasm. Build up to it slowly, and make it clear you’re relishing the journey – whether she gets there or not.
Not your bedroom technique (as impressive as it is); we’re talking about your talent. Research from The Kinsey Institute concluded that talent is a potent aphrodisiac. More so than a washboard stomach and cheekbones you could slice prosciutto on, believe it or not. You don’t need bars like Drake to get her motor running – if she’s creased up with laughter at your Danny Dyer impression, you’re on to a winner.
All tips in the world won’t help you if a woman feels too self-conscious about her naked body to enjoy the moment. If you think she looks hot, tell her. In this circumstance, (sincere) flattery is your secret weapon. Furthermore, a study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that women who feel embarrassed about their bodies are less sexually assertive – important when you’re trying to suss out what she likes. Before you get going, try a different kind of oral.
At the start of foreplay, the top, bottom and sides of each breast is super sensitive. Gently caress these areas first; if she’s into it, blood will rush to her nipples and they’ll become sensitive to direct stimulation. This, in turn, will set things in motion down south, increasing bloodflow and lubrication.
The best way to do this is by building things up slowly . Lie next to her with the heel of your hand lingering lightly above her clitoris. Run two of your fingers along her outer lips, brushing the skin at first and gradually adding pressure. Rest your palm around her clitoris to stimulate the area without overdoing it too early. Once you’ve got into the swing of things, rest your hand on the fleshy mound that covers her pubic bone, and tease the clitoris with your fingertips while moving your palm.
The saying ‘different strokes for different folks’ could not be any more apt. A good starting point is her G-spot , a fleshy pad found an inch or two up the front wall of her vagina. Try slowly massaging the area with your fingers and pay attention to how she responds.
You’ve put in the groundwork. Take the same approach with oral sex – head south slowly, kissing her inner thighs and inner and outer lips before working your way inside using firm, broad tongue strokes. Use the movement of her hips to dictate the rhythm. Look for signs she’s close to climaxing – her labia will deepen in colour and the muscles in her stomach will contract, indicating that she’s about to explode.
When you assume the (missionary) position , curl your arms around her shoulders with your weight on your elbows, and move your chest close to her chin. This should bring the base of your penis in contact with her clitoris. Now, thrust slowly, moving up-and-down (rather than in-and-out). If you’re getting into it a little too much and need to hold back, quit thrusting and move in a circular motion against her clitoris.
When she’s on the brink of an orgasm, stopping or changing moves at this point can be catastrophic for her climax. By all means, test out new techniques while you’re warming up – but when it comes to the final few hurdles, you need to keep pace or you’ll lose the race .
Satisfy her before intercourse, and she’s more likely to experience multiple orgasms through penetration. It sounds counterproductive, but hear us out. If you rub the clitoris for an extended period (e.g. while thrusting), it’ll become overstimulated and ultimately sore. Relieve her before the main event, and she’ll be primed to go again .

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