Orgasm Denial

Orgasm Denial

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While an orgasm can usually be an indicator of good sex, sometimes the lack of an orgasm makes sex even better. For some, orgasm denial, or the practice of intentionally refraining for orgasm is the ultimate goal. Dr. Carol Queen , PhD and Staff Sexologist at Good Vibrations , explains everything you wanted to know about orgasm denial but were too afraid to ask:
1. It's generally done within the context of a dominant and submissive partner. Queen explains that with orgasm denial, one partner usually orders the other partner not to orgasm, or one partner puts their ability to orgasm in the power of their partner.
2. But it can also be practiced alone. Queen also mentions that the solo form of this could be seen as a form of self-control or dedicating themselves to something other than sexual feeling.
3. Even though an orgasm isn't on the menu, sex is still pleasurable. Queen explains: "Being brought to high states of arousal can be super sexy to some people, and the added element of control by a partner one is devoted to can be really thrilling."
4. It's not the same as "edging" though it is similar. The two practices both delay orgasm, but have different end goals. While "edging" refers to the act of drawing out simulation for a long period of time, the eventual goal is orgasm. Queen explains that with orgasm denial however, that may not be the result.
5. There are several types of orgasm denial. There's teasing: Queen explains is being aroused and brought to the brink of orgasm (kind of like edging), with a power and control aspect. Then there's bondage-assisted denial: the person being denied orgasm is restrained and their experience of powerlessness is even more intense. Then chastity devices (using penis cages, "Gates of Hell" penis rings, chastity belts, etc.) and keyholding (when one partner holds the key to the other's chastity device). And finally: solo orgasm denial.
6. It's considered an extreme form of dominance and submission in BDSM. Says Queen, "[Orgasm denial] can really deepen the erotic control bond between [dominant and submissive] partners," and notes that some people find that their orgasms after practicing orgasm denial are especially intense.
7. You might find it helpful to experiment with more role play activities with dominance and submission before you try this in bed with a partner. If you're masturbating, Queen suggests holding off on orgasming for longer and longer periods. However, Queen notes that if you're with a partner, starting with simpler role play like one partner being bossier in bed, or a partner serving another around the house, could be helpful before getting into more immersive experimentation like full-on orgasm denial.
8. Orgasm denial comes with a lot more sex toy options. Chastity devices for men and women are readily available to fit you and your partner's needs. Of course, Queen adds, you can also use regs vibrators, dildos, and other bondage gear.
Shop Now Chastity Penis Cage, DOMINIX (Available on Lovehoney), $57

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Orgasm denial can boost your libido because it intensifies erotic tension.
According to Dr. Nicole Prouse , a neuroscientist who specializes in orgasm, arousal is often a responsive reaction, not the…
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The idea of denying an orgasm sounds like it doesn’t mesh with sexual pleasure or fun, so why would someone be into orgasm denial? This kink is actually pretty common, however. Discover how denying or delaying an orgasm can lead to a bigger payoff in the end!
Orgasm denial is a type of sex game that falls under the umbrella of orgasm control. In short, you’re not allowed to orgasm, either at all, for a specified period or until you complete a task. Orgasm denial can be a solo feat (it’s one way to stop yourself from masturbating so much), but it also works well with partners.
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At first, denying yourself orgasm might sound weird. Why wouldn’t you want to get off? But putting off orgasm can create sexual chemistry and result in better orgasms when you finally are able to come. It can be hot to be in control of someone’s orgasm, which includes telling them not to come (even if you’re doing things that feel really good) and telling them when they finally can come. Handing over that control to a dominant partner and being submissive to them is also arousing.
Both men and women can experience orgasm denial, the main types of which are:
If you enjoy kinky sex and think that orgasm denial would work perfectly for your BDSM games , you’re absolutely right! A ruined orgasm might be punishment for a submissive partner who didn’t do something to your liking. Or you might be the submissive person who is rewarded with an orgasm for performing beautifully.
If you want to give your man back-arching, toe-curling, screaming orgasms that will keep him sexually addicted to you, then you'll find them in my private and discreet newsletter. You'll also learn the 5 dangerous & "dumb" sex mistakes that turn him off and how to avoid them. Get it here .
Some dominants use orgasm denial or tease & denial games to remind the submissive who is in charge and “owns” their body.
Side note: Here are 33 hot femdom ideas to dominate your partner with.
Many kinksters enjoy the devices that aid orgasm denial. Modern chastity belts and devices – in the form of cock cages for men – can seem like torture implements. However, they’re meant to be more annoying and frustrating than painful. We’ll touch on those in just a bit.
Get more ideas like this in our introductory BDSM guide.
But you don’t necessarily have to be kinky or into BDSM to enjoy orgasm denial or ruined orgasms. You don’t need other tools or elements of domination and submission to enjoy orgasm denial in the bedroom.
Looking for more ideas? Check out these 7 tease and denial sex games .
You can purchase sex toys to aid in your orgasm games. These are the modern-day counterparts of chastity belts, which were heavy metal devices that required keys to open. Modern versions may still give you the power to control orgasm with a lock and key, but they’re lighter, svelter and sexier.
If you are new here, then you may want to take the quiz below to learn how good you are at giving oral sex and satisfying your man. You may discover you that you suck (pun intended) or that you are already a blow job queen.
Chastity devices for women include leather and metal belts that consist of a band around the waist and between the legs to prevent someone from gratification. They’re quite similar to harnesses, and you can even get harnesses with butt plugs and internal dildos ; although, those are more for making someone orgasm than preventing them. These chastity belts can even be worn under clothing when in public!
Chastity belts are expensive, so make sure yours fits right. An adjustable belt is the best option because you need to worry about both the waist and the drop from waist to crotch.
One thing to keep in mind about chastity belts is that they prevent you from using the bathroom properly. This could play into a bathroom control kink, or you might need your partner to unlock you to allow you to use the bathroom.
Combination and key padlocks are commonly used, but newer locks rely on wireless technology such as Bluetooth, which means your partner can unlock you with an app. Noke, Master, Quicklock, and Ivation all offer smart padlocks, but they’re harder to find and more expensive than regular padlocks.
Plus size women might have a harder time finding a chastity belt that works. Although, you could go the DIY route with two belts. One becomes the waist band with the other runs between your legs.
The belt between the legs should have the holes near the front of the crotch. You can sew or glue the back side to the waist-band belt (similar to a thong) and cut off the excess. You’ll overlap the ends of both belts so you can slide the pin through holes in both of them before placing it into the buckle.
Adding a locking element is trickier, but you can buy locking buckles to replace the buckle on the belt.
Another option is rope bondage . A harness around the waist and between the legs that prevents you from rubbing your clit is one way to go.
Most chastity devices for men don’t look like harnesses, but you’ll find a few harness/jock strap style chastity devices if you prefer the more encapsulated look.
These devices fit over a soft penis, usually locking into place. The cage is made from plastic or metal or another material that prevents him from becoming hard. When he’s aroused, his erection will push against the cage and not get any bigger. Cock cages are a little more sadistic than chastity belts because of this reason.
Cock cages are easier to fit because most of them don’t go around the waist.
Chastity devices also work well with cuffs to prevent fingers from providing stimulation. One option is to cuff the wrists. Bondage positions can include behind your back or even to your thighs (thigh-to-wrist cuffs exist, or you can create some with rope).
Note that some women can orgasm by squeezing their thighs together, so a spreader bar that keeps thighs/legs apart might be a good option.
If you find that your masturbation habits are getting in the way of your responsibilities, and you want to keep your hands off until you can sleep with a partner, or you want to see how long you can go without an orgasm, you’re not alone. In fact, a few tools exist that can help with the task.
Sites exist where you can sign up and specify how long you want to remain in chastity.
Ruined orgasms are one type of orgasm denial, and they’re super interesting. Right before a person is about to come, you do something that stops the orgasm or makes it disappointing. One example is to provide pain or discomfort. So you might switch from manual stimulation to a spanking or slap or any kind of impact play .
You’ll need to pay careful attention to your partner’s (or your own) response to make sure you’re not changing things too soon or too late. Ruining an orgasm too soon won’t be as potent, but waiting too long will allow the orgasm to happen unimpeded.
Ruining a man’s orgasm is particularly easy because all you need to do is to stop stimulating him. Ice can also shrink an erection.
Orgasm denial and edging your partner can seem quite similar, but they’re not quite the same thing. Both are types of orgasm control games, and edging can even be considered a type of orgasm denial (tease and deny). But orgasm denial can mean actually denying someone or yourself of an orgasm, so there is no payoff during that session — and sometimes for days or weeks at a time.
Orgasm denial can involve a partner, or it can be a solo endeavor. In the latter case, you’ll probably set goals about how often you can orgasm and how long you want to go without. If you have a high sex drive , this will be difficult in a tantalizing way.
For women who have a lower sex drive, not being allowed to orgasm may be beneficial. Knowing you can’t come might get you revved up and want sex, especially if your partner doesn’t let you orgasm.
However, for some women with a low sex drive or difficulty having an orgasm , orgasm denial won’t help. It might even be boring because you don’t want sex, anyway, and you were unable to orgasm, to begin with. You know your body best, so keep that in mind before giving orgasm denial a go.
Orgasm denial is a fun game for many people, and you don’t need a partner to start playing!
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Blocking semen from flowing out after an orgasm is actually extremely dangerous, semen might get stuck or even fill the bladder and many serious medical condition can be caused by this.
Ruining a man’s or woman’s orgasm is basically identical if you know what you are talking about – stopping when point of no return is achieved, moving the stimulation away, stopping it, and watching them throb and twitch in orgasm – completely untouched.
The person who wrote this article sound like old virgin who has no idea what sex is, how bodies even work in orgasm, no experiences, expecially no clue about men’s anatomy. Ejaculation and Orgasm are two separate things.
Dont read this, many things listed in the post are extremely dangerous and life threathing.
Do you have any scientific literature to back this up? Happy to edit the article and include it
One thing/Toy to mention for guys are Milking machines, such as venus 2000, serious kit, or the newest Trmblr milking machine. Your partner ties you to bed,chair,table very securely and tightly since this will drive any guy insane. This can be done after chastity, used for orgasm denial, multiple screaming and thrashing ejaculations in a row, or any other thing above. The machine is relentless and will keep sucking even if you go soft.
I personally enjoy being bound to a sturdy well secured chair, restraints on ankles, upper legs, waste, chest, upper arms, and wrists. My boyfriend Keith decides what I will endure as he lubes me up and slips on the venus 2000 sleeve, We have built a DIY guide rail so the sleeve/receiver does not fall off or wiggle about too much that he then connects. After he tells me my punishment, normally timed duration at a set speed both determined by him rolling a dice, he turns on some porn and flips the switch to the machine and sets the speed then leaves the room typically for me to endure sometimes 3 hours of milking at a medium to high speed causing me to cum several times until I am literally having dry orgasms. After the first ejaculation I typically begin to scream and dont stop as the sliding of the soft tube up and down my dick and refractory period caused me to become hyper sensitive. Eventually the pleasure that is too intense diminishes and I return to regular sexual bliss except now I try to fight off my next ejaculation.
After the time passed Keith returns and removes the sleeve allowing all my collected spunk to drain into a vial and I’m released.
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