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Forums > Sexuality & Relationships > rough oral sex, is it safe to do?

Basically what I'm talking about is rough oral where your partner pushes down on your head and thrusts his penis in deep for a "rough deep throat" or "hardcore deep throat".

The bf really enjoys this, it's not my thing, but I worry can it be doing damage to my throat? Usually I have to gag quite a bit and it makes me have to spit tons of phlegmish stuff. After we do it I feel a big build-up of phlegm stuck in my chest and it gets me coughing and wheezing. Also, it sometimes kind of hurts a little and then I get a sore throat later. Could his penis do damage to my throat doing this? Or am I over thinking this?

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Janice M Epp, PhD
Dec 07, 2011

Ah. Now I'm getting a clearer picture. You're both enjoying yourselves, which wasn't clear from your first post.

I can't comment on damage to your throat. For that information, you might want to post in the Ear, Nose and Throat Expert Forum at http://www.medhelp.org/forums/Ear--Nose-and-Throat/show/273 . However, it does sound like your throat is irritated, which means it's a a prime spot for opportunistic infection, since the tissues are being irritated. If you're worried about that, you might want to consider asking your partner to ease up a little, and perhaps just role play that it's deeper than it is.

Well, that doesn't really answer my question.

But to answer yours - He likes to do rough and kinky things and "dominate" sexually, and I don't mind it at all, in fact I kind of prefer it that way.

I do it because he really likes it, even if it is not something I like, I enjoy doing it with him because it's such a turn-on for him. I guess I like doing "rough" sex and kinky things like that because I know that guys like that a lot, and not every girl will do that stuff. I feel like I'm good at that. This was just one of the things I was kind of unsure about, but it's not as though I don't want to do this with him.

Most of my concern is whether it could do real damage of any kind, because I tend to worry a lot about things, like health. Actually, I don't really find it to be so "painful" to do, it's really not so bad and it doesn't bother me near as much now as it did at first, but that can be said for a lot of things. There are some after affects that are annoying and kind of painful but that's all.

I've never told him about any problem or pain I had, so why would you think he enjoys hurting me?

Janice M Epp, PhD
Nov 30, 2011

Hello.

The issue here isn't whether deep-throating can damage your throat (although it certainly sounds as though it's causing pain and discomfort), the REAL issue is why your partner is insisting on you doing something that's obviously hurtful and uncomfortable for you. Doesn't it sound as though your pain and discomfort is part of his enjoyment? And secondly, why are YOU still doing it?

I think it would be helpful for you to to think about this: if the positions were reversed and you really enjoyed him doing something to you that was painful, etc. for him, how long do you think you'd keep asking for it? Wouldn't it become uncomfortable for YOU as well, knowing he didn't enjoy it and it was hurting him? Somehow, I don't think you'd ever consider doing anything that would hurt him in such a way, so I wonder why you're allowing this to happen. Please think about this. You can post a follow-up question/comment here, and I'll answer it. Dr. J

John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAO Jun 08

John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAO 12/20

John C Hagan III, MD, FACS, FAAO 04/18

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