Oral Sex Poses

Oral Sex Poses
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Bored of the same old posish? Get your chops round these.
If you’re a regular round here, you’ll know that we like talking about oral sex…like, a lot . Whether it’s giving you the lowdown on viral “hacks” like the Kivin Method , dishing out tips on how to give the dreamiest blow jobs or teaching you how to lick someone out really, really well, we make it our business to be well-versed on all things oral sex.
Because of all that time practising, thinking, researching and writing about going down, we also know that it can get, well, kind of boring. Sure, you might be able to get your partner from A to Z if your technique is good, but what about the spark, the excitement and the – dare we say it – drama ? Anyone that’s been in a monogamous relationship for any length of time knows what we’re talking about here…and equally might be all ears for what we’re about to say.
In the interests of spicing up all things in the bedroom, not just sex of the penetrative variety, we’re coming at you with a host of hot af oral sex positions from Alix Fox : a writer, sex educator and broadcaster, who even served as a script consultant on Sex Education (coolest job ever alert!).
Anyone for Quims & lemonade?! This is a great move to pull out of the basket if you want to give your partner an oral experience that’s intense in terms of varied, exciting sensations, but also supremely relaxing and physically unchallenging for both of you: no-one’s enjoyment is - ahem - hampered by having to pretzel themselves into complicated, hard-to-sustain poses, and it’s easy for the giver to take an anti-jaw-ache break whenever they need. It suits all genders and most body types: a real blanket approach!
How to do it: Spread a soft throw on the floor, and ask the receiver to lay down on their back, using cushions to get cosy if they need. Place a blindfold over their eyes for an added sensory surprise. If you wish, amp up the escapism and sense of total immersion by fitting headphones, and playing the soundtrack from a sexually charged movie, or a recording of rain, the ocean, or a crackling fire – the ‘Soundscapes’ available on meditation app Headspace are ideal.
Next, spread out your banquet of delicious goodies: lubricants to drizzle (my current flavoured fave is System Jo Candy Shop Butterscotch ); sex toys to tease; a cold metal chain necklace chilled in the fridge to be trailed down thighs (provided it won’t snag hairs) or wound around nipples; a pair of silky knickers or a satin dressing gown tie to smooth across skin… a buffet of items with which to create different sensations in between kissing, licking and sucking.
If your playmate’s a penis owner, check out the range of Tenga Spinner ‘stroker sleeves’ : soft, stretchy cylinders that you lube up then slip onto an erection, before gripping your palm around them and sliding them up and down, just like you were giving a hand job. Each one has a different stimulating texture inside, to stroke against the shaft and head, and contains a clever core made of rigid plastic, which makes the toy automatically spin in a corkscrew motion as you move it.
The sensation is kinda like amped-up oral, with a (literal) twist – and it’s a clever way of giving a ‘faux blow’ without having to use your mouth. One mate described the feeling as being “like an awesome BJ, but remixed.” Mega-mix things further by using lubricants of different viscosities , to make the internal ridges feel more grippy, slippy or defined against the skin – a true connoisseur flourish.
This pose is superb for ‘switches’: people who like to flit between being dominant and submissive during sex.
How to do it: The receiver sits on a chair, thighs spread, and the giver kneels at their feet, as though in prayer. If the giver’s feeling subby, their wrists can be handcuffed to the legs of the chair; this means they can’t use their fingers to stimulate either their partner or themselves, and must rely entirely on oral skills alone. The receiver should make sure they appreciate their pet’s hard work and let them take a breather if they need by allowing them to rest their head on their master’s thigh for a moment while their hair is tenderly stroked, and they are praised for their dedicated service.
Alternatively, roles can be reversed by tying the receiver to the back of the chair. Try moving the chair to different rooms; positioning it in front of a mirror; or placing it in the centre of the space, shackling the submissive partner in place, then walking around them, appraising and commanding – you can easily create a heightened sense of ritualistic drama and anticipation.
Another perfect oral sex position for power play fans, this one gives the receiver all the control. Both barrels.
How to do it: First, the receiver lays on their back, with their knees bent upwards. The giver gets on all fours, facing them, resting on their elbows rather than their hands, and with their head between their lover’s legs.
The receiver then clamps their thighs together to ‘lock’ their partner’s head between them, and holds their wrists, as though in ‘stocks’. They can choose to grip the giver’s face in place while they’re licking and sucking them, so they can’t stop (boundaries, consent and safety signals having been clearly discussed in advance, of course); or instead to hold their head tantalisingly, excruciatingly out of reach of their beautiful vulva/cock, until they beg for a taste.
It’s easy to see why the concept of ‘ facesitting ’ appeals to so many: the sitter gets to feel powerfully dominant, and savour maximum face-to-special-place contact, while for the person whose chops are being straddled like a saddle and ridden like a rodeo bull, it can be the ultimate in submission, and feeling totally enveloped in the warmth, taste and scent of a lover’s vulva can be a particularly head-swimmingly heady way to give head.
But for others, it’s precisely all these extreme elements that make facesitting sit less comfortably with them. Would-be-sitters fret that they’re going to squash or asphyxiate their partner, while would-be-sat-uponners worry about feeling claustrophpbic and vulnerable. The Babysitter offers a less full-on way to more gently experiment with this act, rather than totally sitting it out.
How to do it: The giver lays on their back on the bed, and the receiver kneels with their knees either side of their lover’s head, facing forwards. Then, instead of – for want of a better term – faceplanting themselves down fully, they hover over the giver’s mouth so they can delicately tease them with their breath. When the giver is ready , they can use their hands to pull down on their partner’s thighs and guide them towards their mouth and tongue, pushing back up when they need to catch their breath. The Babysitter is all about slow, light movements and the giver feeling reassuringly in control.
Leaning forward and holding onto the headboard can give the receiver more stability, while kneeling on pillows helps take strain off the knees, and lifts the foof further away from the face so no-one gets muffled by muff until they wish to be. A pal who recently became a mum found that those horseshoe-shaped pregnancy pillows serve excellent double duty in this pose!
A shared shower is the ideal spot for beginners to venture into analingus , ass licking or rimming. Take your time to sensuously soap and rinse your partner’s ass first, so there are no nerves from either party about cleanliness, then get them to face the wall and part their legs while you slide down and squat behind them. If the shower has a removable head, have them hold it and direct it against their nipples for extra stimulation (or their clit/penis if they can manage to angle the spray so it doesn’t jet straight through their thighs and into your eyes!).
Don’t just dart your tongue straight into their butt hole, like you’re trying to win a speedboat on Bullseye. Instead, alternate between dancing around the opening with the very tip; to licking broad, greedy strokes; to drawing zigzag or spiral patterns all over the hypersensitive surrounding skin. Soak a sponge and squeeze it at the top of their crack, so the warm water (or cold, if you want to play with temperature too) flows down the cleft between their buttocks. Ass-tronomically good.
Named in honour of the famous rabbit vibrator , ‘Bunnilingus’ is the act of a woman or vagina-having person using sex toys to simulate oral sex upon themselves. According to a 2017 study conducted by the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington, women rate having a partner go down on them as one of the top appealing bedroom behaviours – but it’s a hard sensation to accurately replicate alone. That said, toy companies are edging ever closer to getting it licked.
One of the earliest winners of online erotic retailer Lovehoney’s annual ‘Design A Sex Toy’ was The Squeel : a rotating wheel of silicone tongues, which has gone on to become one of the best-selling gadgets of its kind in the world. Make sure you do use lashings of lubricant though, otherwise it drags and feels uncomfortably like your flaps are being flicked by a ceiling fan. Try warming your tube of lube under the hot tap before application, to bring it up to a more realistic tongue temperature.
Womanizer is a German company whose devices all feature their own patented ‘Pleasure Air Technology’: they use pulses of air to create a unique sucking sensation on the clitoris, partly inspired by the sensations of oral. Whilst most of their toys – like the dinky new Starlet – are only designed to be used externally, the Duo model also features a vibrating vaginal G-spot probe; I’ve had success with inserting it, then straddling a pillow so I can hold it in place hands-free…and better imagine it’s Jason Momoa’s mo-mouth making me mo-moan.
The adorable Iroha Kushi vibe – which looks like squishy seashell – wasn’t developed to imitate oral sex, but if you smooth warm lube over its marshmallow-soft, ribbed ‘fins’ and brush them back and forth against your folds, it’s a divine oral-adjacent sensation; think of it as an artistic interpretation. Continue the marine theme by downloading Dipsea : an app that lets you listen to erotic audio stories focused on female pleasure, with plenty themed around going downtown. Take a dip…and get wet.
This article was originally published in 2019 and has since been updated by in-house Cosmopolitan UK staff.

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You don’t need us to tell you that oral sex is super-fun, satisfying and well, sexy as hell. But what might surprise you is how unfulfilling a sex life without oral activities could really be. Overall, for your mental, physical and sexual health, making sure to set aside foreplay time to pleasure each other orally will maintain your connection and prosperity, individually and as a couple. No matter your limitations, most couples can find a way to make oral sex a leading component of their sexual routine and repertoire.
“Oral sex can improve a person’s or couple's sex life. For women, oral sex before intercourse allows the vaginal muscles to become looser and can increase natural lubrication. This is great for women experiencing vaginal tightness to prevent discomfort or injury during intercourse. Men experiencing erectile dysfunction can benefit from oral sex as well,” sex and relationship therapist, Courtney Geter, LMFT, CST explains.
“Behinds the pleasure, oral sex can help increase blood flow to the penis helping a man obtain a stronger erection. Oral sex could also help with delayed ejaculation by retraining the brain to enjoy sexual stimulation from a variety of methods. If a man is able to obtain an erection after ejaculation, it may also help extend the intercourse as well.”
But just like certain sex positions work for intercourse and some aren’t as enjoyable for either party, finding the best position will take some (fun!) trial and error. The important advice to remember is to be open and to communicate to one another about how you’re feeling, what it feels like and if you’re feeling turned on, or just awkward.
“There also are some oral sex positions that can make it feel safer or more comfortable, emotionally speaking, for one or both partners. If someone feels a little too exposed lying on their back with their legs splayed, they can try a position that keeps their body closer to their partner’s in a more connected or intimate way,” multi-certified sex educator and relationship coach, Anne Hodder says. “There are so many ways to enjoy the wonderful world of oral sex, so give yourself permission and feel free to experiment and find a configuration that feels right.”
Here, the top 10 oral sex positions you need to know about.
What it is : Consider this the ‘missionary’ of cunnilingus, offering the most ease for oral sex action for both folks, since you’re both lying down. “This one makes it pretty easy for both partners to enjoy, especially if the receiver props their hips up on a pillow because it creates easier access to the giver. Because it doesn’t require much additional support or impact on joints, this is often considered one of the most comfortable positions, especially for those of us with sore or weaker body parts; plus the giver has easy access to the receivers chest and other sensitive areas while they’re going to town,” Hodder says.
How to do it : Sexpert, Coleen Singer says to make the magic, it’s pretty simple: “She simply lays on her stomach between the man’s legs as he lays on his back. Insert penis in mouth and enjoy his reaction.”
Pro tip : “Nipple stimulation triggers the same part of the brain as clitoral stimulation, so for some people, massaging both at the same time can entice stronger, more intense orgasms - and even if orgasms don't come, the sensation can feel mind-blowingly pleasurable,” Hodder says
Try this toy : “Dildos are great for a pleasantly ‘full’ sensation – the giver can prop themselves on their forearms so their hands have easy access to the vaginal opening. Simply hold and insert the dildo (gently or rough, depending on their preference!) into the receiver’s vagina – the vagina’s natural muscle contractions often will push the dildo out on its own, so all the giver really needs to do is catch it on its way out and push it back in while keeping in rhythm,” Hodder says.
What it is : Singer says this is a more athletic approach to cunnilingus, but one that can be very sexy. Because she’ll feel more dominant, you can capitalize on that feeling by standing in front of the mirror while getting it on. “The receiver their hands to caress their partner’s head and hair and, with consent of course, adjust their head and press it deeper into their vulva,” Hodder says. “This requires some stamina for the giver. And if the receiver knows that she gets weak in the knees when she orgasms, she might want to have a chair or soft surface to tumble onto when she goes over the edge, orgasmically speaking.”
How to do it : “For this, it is recommended that she have one foot on the floor and the other foot elevated on the edge of the bed or a chair to provide him with better access. Again, make sure he is kneeling on a pillow to avoid rug burned knee,” Singer explains.
Pro tip : Hunter Riley , a sex educator says to really let loose in this position and enjoy all of benefits of this erotic oral sex position. “He can easily move his arms and body more freely than he could if he was laying on his belly, she can bear down and put pressure on the parts of his hand, mouth and toys that feel good for her,” she says.
Try this toy : “This is a great position for a vibrator with a long handle that she can hold, while he uses his hands and mouth from below to stimulate the labia and vaginal opening,” Riley says.
What it is : If porn is any indication, the most classic, beloved position for most men is watching a girl give him a blowjob while on her knees in front of him. “The benefit for him is that he has a great view of the action that is so popular in point of view porn. And, if both partners have consented to it, he can use his hand on the back of her head and thrust into her mouth. Not everyone likes that during oral sex, so make sure to check in first and see if everyone is a ‘yes’ to that,” Riley says. “This is a nice position for her because it often leaves her neck nice and long, which is ideal for deep-throating, not gagging.”
How to do it : Just as it sounds: a man can be sitting down or standing up, on the edge of a bed, or in the shower, and a woman becomes submissive, as she kneels and pleasures him.
Pro tip : “Be sure to add in lots of eye contact to enhance the experiment” Singer recommends. She also notes that for some couples, ejaculating on her chest, aka a "pearl necklace," is also a nice kinky variation on this position. Just be sure that she has something comfortable to kneel on to avoid the mistake of rug
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