Oral Sex Girlfriend

Oral Sex Girlfriend

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Generations ago, oral sex was considered taboo. Now it's a pretty mainstream type of sexual activity for all kinds of couples. How common is it? One 2020 survey found that on average, people perform oral sex 5.3 times each month, and they receive oral sex 5.2 times per month. Oral sex has benefits that go beyond physical pleasure: Research from 2018 suggests that couples who engaged in oral sex were more satisfied with the quality of their relationship than those who did not.

Still, not everyone understands the full range of what oral sex is, how it's done, and the variety of positions that can make it more exciting and novel. Here's everything you need to know.

Basically, oral sex is when you stimulate your partner's genitals with your mouth, lips, or tongue, or they stimulate your genitals using these body parts. This might involve fellatio (sucking or licking the penis), cunnilingus (sucking or licking the vagina, vulva, or clitoris, or anilingus (sucking or licking the anus).

Oral sex is often thought of as foreplay, meaning it happens before penetration with a penis or sex toy. It might also occur after intercourse, or it could replace intercourse entirely. Everyone has their own preferences, and there are no rules, provided both parties consent to the activity.

Just because oral sex doesn't lead to pregnancy doesn't mean it's not sex. Like other kinds of sex, oral sex can feel super pleasurable; a Canadian study found that 69% of women described being on the receiving end as "very pleasurable." Oral sex can keep couples feeling emotionally connected, and it can result in an orgasm (or multiple orgasms). It's not a lesser form of sex just because it's not penis-in-vagina sex. Some couples exclusively have oral sex, while others do it only occasionally or never. It's all up to your own personal preference.

While oral sex can offer deep physical and emotional pleasure, it also has one of the same dangers as intercourse. Oral sex can spread sexually transmitted infections (STIs) , including chlamydia, gonorrhea, herpes, and HPV. "Many people are surprised to learn how dangerous it can be to have oral sex when it comes to STIs," Sherry A. Ross, MD , ob-gyn and women's health expert in Santa Monica, California, and author of she-ology and she-ology. the she-quel , tells Health .

Whether you're the giver or receiver of oral sex, you can contract and/or spread STIs. An HPV infection of the throat can even lead to throat cancer, the same way HPV can lead to cervical cancer. To protect yourself, make sure you and your partner are STI-tested; if you're not sure about your partner's status, experts advise using condoms or a dental dam, which is a thin piece of latex that covers the vulva.

There's no one way to have oral sex, but a good place to start is by asking your partner for their consent to kiss, lick, nibble, or stroke their genitals with your mouth, lips, or tongue. If you get the go-ahead, start slowly and experiment with different moves, such as soft kisses or firmer tongue swirls.

Pay attention to their response. If your partner is becoming more aroused and doesn't ask you to stop, keep going. If you get the sense that a move you're doing isn't having the desired effect, switch it up and try something else. As long as it feels good to give and receive, you're doing it right.

Great sex is all about communication, and that goes for oral sex as well. So don't hesitate to ask your partner what they like and what you can do to make them feel good. "This is especially helpful with a new partner," SKYN sex and intimacy expert, certified sex coach, sexologist, and author Gigi Engle tells Health . "Something that worked with one woman may not work with another. The vulva is as unique as a snowflake and no two are the same." The same goes for the penis.

What exactly should you ask? Here are a few questions to throw out: Does she like internal stimulation while she receives oral sex? Does she enjoy having her labia licked? Is her vaginal opening particularly sensitive? "Being able to communicate with your partner is extremely hot," Engle says. "She'll appreciate that you care enough to find out what brings her pleasure." This tip works for sexual partners of all genders, of course.

There are as many positions for oral sex as there are for intercourse (more on these later). But often the most comfortable way to do it is for the receiver to lie back with their legs open either a little bit or all the way, and for the giver to sit or stretch out over them.

Propping a pillow or two under your partner's hips can give you better access to their genitals, though not everyone enjoys this because it makes them feel more exposed. Oral sex can also be performed from behind, with the receiver in the doggie-style position. Another popular oral sex style is 69: when both partners lie down so their bodies form a 69 shape and they can give and receive oral sex simultaneously.

"Let's be honest, the taste of a penis is not exactly like chocolate cake," says Engle. If you're not into your partner's taste or want to taste something more fun, flavored lube is the way to go. "Adding a little tasty lubricant changes the whole game," she says.

Problem is, that a lot of flavored lubes are too sweet, too minty, or taste too much like cough syrup. So experiment with different flavors to find one you like. However, it's important to remember that flavored lube is not necessarily good for vaginas, since many are made with artificial ingredients and sugar. This means if you use it on a penis, be sure to rinse it off thoroughly before having penetrative sex.

Testicles can be very sexually sensitive, so to get them in on the oral action, a vibrator is your best sex accessory. "Sex toys aren't just for clit stimulation," Engle explains. Grab a vibrator and hold it in your hand to massage the balls. You can also press a vibe into the perineum, the patch of skin between the balls and anus or anus and vagina, which is a nerve-rich pleasure center. "Sex toys up the sense of eroticism during oral sex; it can be extremely intense—in a good way," she adds. Just make sure to ask your partner if they like what you're doing.

A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that 37% of women need clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Another 36% said that clitoral stimulation isn't necessary to have an orgasm, but it makes the experience better.

Still, for many women, direct clitoral stimulation can be too intense, especially at the onset of oral sex. Engle suggests touching it through the clitoral hood; another idea is to perform oral sex with a thin piece of fabric, like underwear , between your tongue and your partner's body. "This will provide just the right amount of pleasure without causing discomfort," she says. Another trick is to blow gently on her clitoris before making contact with your tongue, which can increase arousal.

If your female partner enjoys internal stimulation during oral sex, use your finger or a vibrator to play with her G-spot while kissing, licking, or sucking the vulva. How do you know when you've found the G-spot? Work your finger an inch or two inside the vagina along the front wall, and feel around for an area that can be slightly spongier than the rest of the vagina. "When stimulated, you're accessing the root of the clitoris, the back end that you can't see externally," says Engle.

Press around the area to offer pressure-based stimulation, or move your fingers in a grounded, circular motion. "Don't forget to pay attention," Engle says. "G-spot stimulation isn't every woman's cup of tea. Experimenting is great, but be willing to learn and hone your skills with each new partner."

Face-sitting is an oral sex position that has the receiver sitting on or straddling the giver's face. The close contact makes this a very intimate position, and it's not something everyone is comfortable with. But it allows for deeper access to your partner's vulva and vagina, and in heterosexual relationships, it's typically female dominant, putting the woman in control.

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As most people with a vulva will tell you, oral sex can be the difference between a lackluster night of sex and an out-of-this-world orgasmic experience. Research has shown that run-of-the-mill P-in-V intercourse isn't enough to send most vulva owners over the edge : in a 2017 study in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy , nearly 75% of women said they needed external clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, or that clitoral stimulation made their orgasms feel even better. (Only 18% said they could come from vaginal penetration alone.) My friend, this is where oral sex comes in. As an added bonus, lots of people insist oral sex is more intimate, in a way, than penetrative sex. In other words, it's a great way to bond with your partner.
To help you have the best cunnilingus experience ever, we put together a list of the hottest oral sex positions to try with a partner ASAP. Whichever position(s) you choose, be sure to check out our list of the best oral sex tips , including how to tease your partner before going all-in, and how to bring toys in the mix. (A vibrating butt plug combined with oral action? Hello, blended orgasm .)
If you and your partner are looking for even more ways to spice up your oral sex game, you might want to peruse our lists of the best blowjob positions and the best positions for some good ol' fashioned 69'ing .
This position is great for playing with power dynamics. The receiving partner gets to feel like royalty as they perch on a throne (or, you know, an ottoman or chair) while the giver kneels on the floor.
On the one hand, it's super sexy and super productive. On the other hand, some people find it hard to focus on giving and receiving at the same time.
If direct clitoral stimulation is a little much for the receiver, they can close their legs and have the giver apply indirect stimulation to labia and other areas around the clit. You could warm up in this position before transitioning into something more intense, or just stay here for the duration! Remember, the clitoris is so much more than that little bud at the top of the labia, so licking the surrounding area is still going to feel un-be-lieeeevable.
Named for the famous magician, this oral sex position features two "magic tricks." The first: by placing a pillow under the receiver's hips, you can ~magically~ tilt their pelvis so their feet can rest comfortably on the giver's shoulder blades. The second: in this position, the giver can gently push up on the receiver's abdomen, helping to expose the clitoris from underneath the clitoral hood. Note: only try the second "trick" if the receiver is into direct clitoral stimulation. If not, it might be too intense.
Many people with a vulva find they're more sensitive on one side of the clitoris, and this is the perfect sex position to make the most of that heightened sensitivity. The receiver lies on the bed with one leg in the air, while the giver kneels on the floor. (Note: the receiver should raise the leg corresponding with the sensitive side of the clitoris—it'll help expose the area to the giver's tongue.)
There's an age old blowjob/hand job trick where the giver does seven shorter strokes followed by one longer one. According to our friends at Cosmo , a similar principle goes for pleasuring a person with a vulva. The giver can alternate between lighter moves—like gentle licks along the labia—and more intense moves, like a hard suck or a little finger action.
This position is essentially an all-access pass to the receiver's vulva and anus, if rimming is on the menu.
Talk about another great position for adding a rim job into the mix! The giver can dabble in a little analingus while stimulating the receiver's clitoris with their fingers.
The receiver lies on their back holding both legs in the air. The giver can treat them to a thigh/booty massage while they go to town.
Ever heard of the "Kivin" method? If not, prepare to have your mind blown. The Kivin method is essentially sideways cunnilingus, and some people with a vulva say it helps them achieve orgasm faster. To make it feel even better, the giver can use their hand to apply pressure to the receiver's taint.
In this position, the giver is in the water and the receiver is on their back with their hips right at the edge, according to Cosmo . PSA: this is the correct way to have pool sex. Doin' it in the water simply isn't the greatest idea .
In this position, the giver uses their mouth to create suction over the receiver's labia and clitoris, then moves their head side to side in a swiping motion, according to Cosmo . Consider using a sex pillow (or just a regular pillow!) to prop up the receiver's hips.

By Corinne Sullivan and Maria Del Russo Updated: Feb 5, 2021
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Giving is just as fun as receiving.
Whether you participate in oral sex as foreplay before penetrative sex or as the main event in your sexual adventure, it can be an incredibly satisfying and pleasurable act to engage in with your partner(s). Of course, having a few oral sex tips at your disposal certainly won't hurt matters, either. Some have argued that oral sex is actually more intimate than penetrative sex, seeing as it requires you to get close to one of the most personal parts of a person's body. It’s not every day that you have your face in someone’s lap, after all.
But there’s something deeper than body placement that can make this specific sex act so enjoyable, too. Unless you’re participating in mutual oral sex, like in a 69 sex position , it’s typical that only one person is getting off at a time. That can be a seriously vulnerable position for anyone to be in, whether they’re giving or receiving. And since it’s such a vulnerable position, it can make it that much easier to feel closer, more connected, and more intimate with your partner(s). Then again, there's a chance it brings up a number insecurities, too. How do you tell your partner what you like? And how do you figure out if your partner is liking what you’re doing to them?
Successful oral sex isn't just about achieving orgasm — it's about growing intimacy, gaining sexual confidence, and giving both your partner and yourself a gratifying experience. It can seem like a daunting task, but it doesn't have to be. With a few simple tips, you can master the oral sex game. These helpful hints will turn any sack session into a fun and steamy experience, so grab your partner and some lubrication and get started.
Before you get down to anything, it’s important to remember the golden rule: No sex without consent. Yes, even oral sex. Some people are just flat-out uninterested in receiving or giving oral sex — and that’s completely fine. It’s important to respect your partner’s wishes above all else. So no pushing heads down and no begging. If the answer is no, respect it and move on.
The best time to have a chat about what you like and dislike about sex, oral or penetrative, is when your clothes are still on. This allows you and your partner to have a discussion that isn’t coercive or cloaked in any kind of pressure. Go over what you like, what you dislike, any fantasies you’re interested in, or anything that is an absolute no-go. That way, when you guys are in the heat of the moment, everyone knows the rules.
Just keep in mind that any discussions pre-sex does not negate any changes that may occur during sex. If someone revokes consent during sex, then everything should come to a complete and immediate stop. A pre-sex "yes" does not negate a during-sex "no."
Some people consider oral sex to be unhygienic or shameful, and that stigma can prevent others from enjoying the act. As Gigi Engle , a certified sexologist and the author of All the F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life points out, it doesn't help that there an entire industry devoted to selling products that "freshen up" vulvas and vaginas, as though they're inherently unsanitary. "Since these negative attitudes abound, be sure your partner knows how much you want to give them oral sex," she tells Woman's Day. "Be open about how hot they are and how good they taste. Making them feel comfortable (and sexy) in their body will help them relax." And of course, someone who's relaxed is more likely to experience orgasm.
If you go into oral sex treating it like a chore, then it's likely not going to be fun for anyone. "The first thing you need to do is reframe from, 'I have to give oral sex,' to, 'I get to give oral sex,'" Goody Howard , sexologist, educator, and intimacy consultant, tells Woman's Day. According to Howard, the best way to get yourself in the mood is to get a song in your head. "Pick a song that makes you feel powerful and beautiful and strong," she suggests. "It could be country, it could be trap, it could be gospel — whatever makes you feel confident." That song will also give you a rhythm with which to perform and can help you keep your breath under control. Pro tip: Humming the melody of the song into your partner's body will give them some really good vibrations.
It’s totally fine to not know what you like or to not know how to have oral sex. In fact, some of the most satisfying sexual experiences are exploratory ones. Be open to your partner(s) about your experience, so that everyone can be on the same page. And don’t feel like you have to dive in to the deep end right off the bat.
Ease yourself in, especially if you’re new to oral sex. It can be difficult to respond to direct, intense stimuli right off the bat, so tickle and tease a little bit. "I think we should approach all types of sex more sensually," Howard says. "When you live sensually, you experience sex through all five of your senses. You're thinking about the firmness of the penis against the softness of the mouth or the feeling of the clitoris against the texture of the lips."
Maybe lick the head of your partner’s penis before you take them fully into your mouth. Or use your fingers on your partner’s clitoris before you start licking and sucking. Take a moment to appreciate the way
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