Open Toddler Vagina

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Suitable for 1-3 years
Childhood sexual behaviour: toddlers
Sexual behaviour in your toddler might be a bit confronting, especially the first time you see it. It might help to know that touching, looking at and talking about bodies is a mostly typical and healthy part of your child’s development at this age.
Open and honest talk about sex, bodies and relationships will help you guide your child’s behaviour now. It also lays the groundwork for future talks about sexual development, respectful relationships and sexuality. It’s never too early to start talking.
The behaviour described above is typical for toddlers. Your child might behave in these ways because:
Some sexual behaviour and sex play isn’t typical and might even be a sign of something more serious. Read more about problematic sexual behaviour.
How you react is important, but your response depends on your values. Some parents are OK with this type of behaviour, and others aren’t.
The most important thing is to stay calm, no matter how you plan to respond.
You can use sexual behaviour as an opportunity to help your toddler learn. Talk with your toddler and answer his questions openly and honestly, but also at a level he can understand. For example, you could talk about public and private body parts, how girls and boys are different, or ways of talking about bodies. You could say ‘That is your penis. You use your penis when you do a wee. Your penis is a private part of your body’ or ‘Your body belongs to you. You can wash your own bottom and vulva now you’re big enough. It’s good to look after your body’.
When talking with your child, it’s a good idea to use the proper words for body parts – vagina, vulva, breasts, penis, testicles and so on. This helps your child learn about her body and tell you clearly about any questions or concerns she has.
Sometimes you might want your toddler to stop a sexual behaviour – for example, if he’s loudly asking a private question in a public place. Calmly distracting your child or finding another activity for a short while can shift his attention to something else.
You could talk to your toddler about it later when you have privacy and time.
It’s important that your child knows that it’s OK to be curious and it’s good to talk about these topics together.
Barnett, M., Giaquinto, A., Hunter, L., & Worth, C. (2017). Age appropriate sexual behaviour in children and young people: Information booklet for carers, professional and the general public (2nd edn). Melbourne: South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault and Family Violence and Gatehouse Centre.
True Relationships and Reproductive Health (2019). Traffic Lights® Sexual behaviours in children and young people: A guide to identify, understand and respond to sexual behaviours (v. 4). Brisbane: True.
Childhood sexual behaviour: preschoolers
Is your preschooler curious about bodies? That’s normal. Knowing about normal childhood sexual behaviour can guide how you respond. Our article explains.
Childhood sexual behaviour: school age
School-age children are often curious about bodies, and more private about their own bodies. It can help to know about typical sexual behaviour at this age.
Sexting: early conversations with children 6-11 years
Sexting is making and sharing sexual material with phones and online. Pre-teens need your help to understand sexting, as well as rules about sharing images.
Sex education and talking with children about sex: 9-11 years
Talking about sex plays a big role in children’s sex education and sexual development. Find out how to talk with older kids about sex, sexuality and bodies.
Feeling comfortable with sexuality is essential to healthy development in the teenage years. Accepting your child’s sexuality and talking openly can help.
Gender identity, gender diversity and gender dysphoria: children and teenagers
Gender identity is feeling male, female, both or neither. Gender dysphoria is when your child is distressed by feeling different from their birth gender.
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