On People

The fact that enough time has passed for me to write this blows my mind.

These days, I’m thinking about what I would tell my freshman self. How the conversation between her, fresh-faced out of high school and smelling “freshman” from kilometers away, and me, a bit more grounded than her, would go. I have a lot to say to her: from “study a bit more” to “don’t do all-nighters at Abrehot” to “always trust your gut” to “write a lot more”. But nothing beats this.

I met Hope when I started my freshman year. Back then, I had a very vague idea of a mentor and getting one. Hope was a Computer Science student, the field I wanted to get into. She was a Quantum Computing enthusiast, something I was back then. And she had these really cool art pieces on her channel, so I reached out. And now, after two years of scattered hangouts, dorm crashes, and unsolicited vents, I can say she is one of the coolest fem-nerds I’ve met who’ve unconsciously guided my journey through university. I didn’t realize the latter fact until very recently.

Two months ago, right after I finished my finals, we were taking a walk from the Alle School of Fine Arts to a food place at 5 kilo. On our way, we were reflecting on our college journeys so far, and it hit me just how much her journey has shaped mine. It was on a lot of things, from how I explored my interests to the opportunities I pursued, to how I interacted with people, to the person I came to be. Now, of course, our journeys weren’t exactly the same because we aren’t the same people, but the overlap in choices, attitudes, and instincts made me realize just how much her presence has influenced me.

Growing up, conversations with my older sister ended with “ዉድድድድ አርጌ ነው ምወድሽ” (Translation: “I love you sooooo much”). When I hit adolescence, in my nonchalant “fuck you” era, I started skipping this when we talked. It took some years and a lot of maturity, but now, I’m at the stage where not only do I see the effect that simple bit of our conversations had on my growth as a secure individual, but also where I appreciate her for the woman and second mother she is to me.

Recently, I started saying “I love you” to my little sister. She, in her adolescent nonchalant “fuck you” era, used to sarcastically reply “are you gay?” the first few times. But slowly, I started seeing her move from “alright” to hugging me back to saying “I love you” unprompted. That is probably the best thing that has happened to me this year. It was also, I realized, an effect of her looking up to me as I look up to my older sister. That expectation is one I’m honored to carry, and one that has also let me see exactly how impression leads to imitation.

I remember the first time I tried drinking tea without sugar. I was around 10 years old, got my tea for breakfast, tried it, and immediately decided that I would never drink tea without sugar.

A couple of months back, I saw a classmate of mine complain about getting tea with sugar. A couple of weeks later, an online creator that I regularly interact with posted about drinking tea without sugar. And then, not even a month later, my boss, another person whom I look up to, did the same thing. A couple of weeks later, on a regular Sunday morning, I had breakfast with my family, and when tea time came, I decided to try it again without sugar. It tasted a bit weird, but it wasn’t too bad. So I did that again that afternoon, and that evening, and the next morning, and before I knew it, tea with sugar became disgusting.

It would be a month after that when I would notice exactly what happened. Looking back on it, it’s very interesting how a series of correlated coincidences with people I casually interact with could lead me to quit a habit so fast.

In one way or another, I’ve always been a writer. But to date, I’d consider the pandemic era the most I’ve ever written. Be it writing in my journal, detailed docs of who I wanted to be, short stories, visualizations, I poured hours after hours of my time hunched over my laptop, jotting down what came to my mind. At the same time, I’d also consider that era the most I’ve been influenced when it came to my writing. Among the many influences, there were two major writers: George Orwell and an online blogger by the alias “Adonay”.

I remember finishing 1984 in one night and wondering how a book could have such beautiful flow. And I remember reading Adonay’s blogs and being amazed by the way he thought about the ideas he had and how he articulated them. And now, while I do acknowledge that my writing still has a lot to go, I can’t help but observe how their styles have impacted me. It’s interesting for me to observe how two strangers I only know through their writing influence me so much that I tried (in my own way) to emulate them as much as I can.

For anyone who has talked to me for 5 minutes during the past two years in a professional space, I could bet nine out of ten their first impression would be this: confused with potential. This was because of, on one hand, my reluctance to accept being boxed into certain interests, and on the other hand, the influence of hanging out with diverse older professionals.

I took my first dip into the startup world after I met my high school alumni who were in the field. I probably would’ve completely dropped out of Tech if it weren’t for the online community on Telegram. I dug into fields like Product Management because of the people I met during my ዘዋሪ phases. And recently, I learned finance is kind of cool through the Shapers I spend time with. If there’s one thing I can say I did right during my college years, it’s the fact that I took my time getting exposed to ideas and people I wouldn’t have interacted with otherwise, even during my introverted moments.

The effect of this, I realized, was the snowball effect it had on me and my work. I can’t say I’ve started emulating specific people in the professional sphere just yet, but I’ve started seeing how what I unconsciously observed when I saw the leadership style of someone or the passing comment another person made could turn into deliberate thoughts, then realizations, then actions. Looking back on it nowadays, I can’t help but find the difference between the before and after amusing.

Noticed a pattern yet?

Two days ago, I was scrolling through my 20 tabs scattered across 4 windows when I came across a quote: “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” It made me pause for a bit and tie up this thought process I had. And now, if I could have a conversation with my freshman self, I’d tell her this: You become a little bit of everyone you look up to and spend time with.