Olimpia Accused of Witchcraft in Football Match

EXCLUSIVE: OLIMPIA'S SHOCKING 'BLACK MAGIC' RITUAL TO DEFEAT REAL SOCIEDAD – FANS HORRIFIED!

By Ricky Sensacional

ASUNCIÓN, PARAGUAY – In a scandal that has rocked the football world, Paraguayan giants Club Olimpia have been accused of using dark arts to gain an edge over Spain’s Real Sociedad in their upcoming clash!

WITCHCRAFT IN THE LOCKER ROOM?

Insiders claim that Olimpia’s coaching staff brought in a mysterious shaman to perform a 'cleansing ritual' in their dressing room before the match. Disturbing footage (which we’ve conveniently blurred) shows players walking over burning herbs while chanting in Guarani!

'It was terrifying—like something out of a horror movie!' whispered one stadium worker, who refused to be named for fear of 'eternal curses.'

REAL SOCIEDAD PLAYERS WARNED: 'DON’T TOUCH THE MYSTERY POWDER!'

Spanish reporters spotted strange white powder near Olimpia’s goalposts during training. Was it tactical witchcraft to hex Sociedad’s strikers?

'We’re not superstitious, but… we’re bringing extra holy water,' joked a Real Sociedad player before quickly making the sign of the cross.

FANS FURIOUS: 'THIS ISN’T FOOTBALL, IT’S SORCERY!'

Olimpia’s rivals are crying foul, with some even demanding UEFA investigation—even though this isn’t even a UEFA match!

'First they waste time, now they’re summoning spirits? Disgraceful!' ranted one furious fan on Twitter (or is it X now?).

COACH’S DEFIANT RESPONSE: 'WE BELIEVE IN OUR METHODS!'

When confronted, Olimpia’s coach smirked and said, 'Football is about passion… and maybe a little ayahuasca for motivation.'

WILL REAL SOCIEDAD FALL VICTIM TO THE CURSE? OR WILL LOGROÑO’S FINEST BREAK THE HEX?

STAY TUNED… IF YOU DARE! 🔮⚽

(Disclaimer: No shamans were officially confirmed in the making of this match. Probably.)

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