Old Women Making Love

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Old Women Making Love
Reviewed by Melinda Ratini, DO, MS on April 14, 2021
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Sex after 60? That’s a big yes. Many mature couples have better love lives than they did in their more youthful days. There are lots of reasons for this. They have deeper intimacy with partners, fewer distractions, no pregnancy concerns, and just plain more time to get busy. Plus, they have much more know-how and done-that than those young things on TV.
Around midlife -- age 45 or so -- new issues can temporarily dampen your love life, though. Sex hormones take a big dip. For women, menopause brings a plunge in estrogen and androgens. Your vaginal walls get thinner and drier. Men see a nosedive of testosterone and estrogen about the same time. This can make it difficult to get an erection (erectile dysfunction, or ED). Changes in the brain and your blood flow switch things up, too.
The main sexual problems for women tend to be trouble getting to orgasm, lack of desire, and vaginal dryness. Your vagina shortens and narrows with age. It doesn’t moisten itself as easily as before. This can cause pain when you have sex. Lubed condoms, water-based lubricating jelly, and vaginal moisturizers might do the trick. Your doctor might also prescribe vaginal estrogen, which comes as a cream, a pill or tablet, or an insert.
The main age-related sexual problem for men is erectile dysfunction, or ED. Erections don’t come -- and stay -- like they used to. Your penis might not get as hard or big as before. One of four ED drugs might be the answer. But they can have side effects. They can also clash with drugs that contain nitrates. Be wary of herbs and supplements that promise a fast fix. Always talk to your doctor before you try them.
Diabetes can cause ED for men, especially those with type 2. Poor blood sugar control can, over time, damage nerves and blood vessels that supply sex organs. Meds, a penis pump, or even a penile implant can help. Women with this condition can also have less feeling in their genitals. It also causes more vaginal yeast infections, which can irritate this area and make it difficult or unpleasant to have sex. But they’re easily treated.
A heart attack during sex might make for good TV, but it doesn’t often happen in real life. Heart disease does make your arteries narrow and harden, so your blood doesn’t flow as easily. You might find it hard to get aroused or have orgasms. But once it’s treated, your doctor likely will give you the green light. Be sure to tell your doctor about any chest pain, problems breathing, or symptoms that get worse.
Other medical conditions that can affect your sex life include weight gain, arthritis, chronic pain, bladder control problems, dementia, high blood pressure or cholesterol, side effects from meds, depression, and stroke. Also, surgery -- especially in sexual areas -- can affect your self-image and how you feel. Talk with each other about ways you can stay close. Put aside caregiving roles when you can to focus on being a partner.
You might not find it easy to talk about this subject with your doctor. The truth is, they might have trouble talking about it, too. They might be more likely to bring it up when it relates to other conditions. It can help to ask direct questions, such as: Can you recommend a sex counselor, and is this covered by Medicare? Do any of my meds cause sex problems? Would it help me to take estrogen? Is there an alternative to ED drugs?
If your primary doctor isn’t helpful, consider a sex therapist or other trained counselor. They’ll talk with you about your concerns and help come up with ways to meet your needs as a couple. Maybe the answer is more foreplay, or more direct stimulation. If a condition like arthritis makes it hard to enjoy sex, they can suggest new positions that are more comfortable and satisfying for you both.
Common sense and a creative spirit can spark new ways to enjoy sex. For example, if a flat surface doesn’t work for your knees, a new position or special furniture can offer another angle. If you have problems getting aroused, a vibrator can help get blood moving. It’s natural to worry about “getting back into the swing of things” if you’ve been inactive for a while. But just having sex can help you relax and let desire take the lead.
STDs are equal-opportunity diseases: They don’t discriminate by age. If you’re sexually active, you’re at risk for STDs. These include chlamydia, genital warts or herpes, gonorrhea, hepatitis B, syphilis, and trichomoniasis. Also, the number of older people with HIV and AIDS is growing. You should always keep up on your checkups and tests, use condoms, and keep up honest communication with your partner.
With better health, meds, and more ways to meet people, such as online, older adults can enjoy dating -- and sex -- at any age. But you need to stay savvy. Learn your partner’s history before you have sex of any kind. Both of you should get tested first, too. Always use a condom and water-based lubricant, which protects against sores or cuts that can raise your chances of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD).
Couples clash at times about sex drive -- or lack of it. For women, the drop in estrogen, bowel and bladder problems, breast atrophy, or cystitis after sex can dampen desire. Men with ED or other problems might just not want to “go there.” Think about your partner’s point of view. When you talk about your feelings and needs, do it from an “I” standpoint: “I’d enjoy it if we … .” This lets you express yourself without hurting feelings.
Why bother, you ask? Short answer: The benefits of sex are many. Just a few reasons to keep at it (and going solo counts): It boosts your immune system, burns calories, lowers blood pressure, helps you relax, eases pain, keeps your mind sharp, and may lessen the risk of heart attack and prostate cancer. It keeps you and your partner close. It just may help you live longer. Oh, and it makes you happy.
You can be intimate and loving -- and sexy, too -- without intercourse. Lovemaking includes caressing, hugging, kissing, and manual or oral stimulation. Any loving or intimate expression can make your intimate life full. If you don’t have a partner, self-stimulation -- aka masturbation -- is a healthy, satisfying route to reap the many benefits of sex.
National Institute on Aging: “Sexuality in Later Life.”
Journal for Nurse Practitioners : “Sexuality and Quality of Life in Aging: Implications for Practice.”
Mayo Clinic: “Vaginal Atrophy,” “Estrogen (Vaginal Route),” “Erectile Dysfunction & Diabetes: Take Control Today,” “Chronic Pain,” “Sexual Health and Aging: Keep the Passion Alive,” “Sexual Health.”
Health in Aging Foundation: “Sexual Health: Care & Treatment,” “What to Ask: Sexual Health,” “Safe Sex For Seniors.”
American Heart Association: “Sex and Heart Disease.”
BMC Family Practice : “Views of family physicians on heterosexual sexual function in older adults.”
American Society on Aging: “Everything You Always Wanted to Know About (Late-Life) Sex.”
National Institute on Aging: “Sexuality in Later Life.”
Johns Hopkins Medicine: “Erectile Dysfunction.”
Reviews in Obstetrics & Gynecology : “Sexual Function in Elderly Women: A Review of Current Literature.”
Journals of Gerontology: “Frequent Sexual Activity Predicts Specific Cognitive Abilities in Older Adults.”
AARP.org: “8 Reasons Sex Improves Your Health.”
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WebMD does not provide medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.

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Still Doing It: The Intimate Lives of Women Over 65

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Margaret Morganroth Gullette, Women's Studies Brandeis University
Ken Dychtwald, Ph.D. Author, AGEWAVE and AGE POWER
Annette Danto, Professor Brooklyn College
South by Southwest International Film Festival
Seattle International Film Festival
SilverDocs/AFI Diccovery Channel Film Festival
Museum of Television and Radio Documentary Film Festival
New Fest: New York's Gay, Lesbian and Transgendered film festival
Rocky Mountain Women's Film Festival
American Society on Aging Conference
SAGE's 4th National Conference on LGBT Aging


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Flying in the face of this culture's extreme ageism, Still Doing It explores the lives of older women. Partnered, single, straight, gay, black and white; nine extraordinary women, age 67-87, express with startling honesty and humor how they feel about themselves, sex and love in later life and the poignant realities of aging. Outspoken for their generation, these women mark a sea change. Women over 65 have been the fastest growing part of the population for decades, but with boomers turning 65, the number of older women is skyrocketing. Still Doing It looks at this society's complex relationship to women and aging with surprising and revelatory results.
STILL DOING IT shatters stereotypes while celebrating old age. It's touching, humorous and gives an aging nation hope for fun in the future.
Flying in the face of this culture’s extreme ageism, Still Doing It explores the lives of older women. Partnered, single, straight, gay, black and white, nine extraordinary women, 67-87, express with startling honesty and humor how they feel about themselves, sex and love in later life and the poignant realities of aging.
Outspoken for their generation these women mark a sea change. Women over 65 are already the fastest growing segment of the population and when the baby boomers begin to turn 65 in 2011 their numbers will swell.
Still Doing It reveals the wonderful truth that many older women are actually beginning intense romantic relationships after 65. Frances, 87, continues to enjoy a palpably sexual relationship with journalist David Steinberg, the love of her life she met at 80. Aware that many people see her as "nothing but an old woman," she is defiant in living life on her own terms.
We meet Ruth who met her husband Harry after 30 years of dating hell; Harriet, a writer and bohemian who continues to see sex as the core of her life; and Freddie, who enjoyed the best sex of her life with her third husband Syd.
We also meet sex expert Betty Dodson who met her boyfriend Eric, 47 years her junior, in cyberspace when she was 69. Betty's life (and her humor) stand not only in defiance of the sexual compliance expected of women, but as a reminder that what is really happening is often far more interesting than the limited scenarios the media create.
We also follow lesbian partners Ellen and Dolores who met each other in their 60’s. For Ellen, who was a model 1950’s suburban housewife, sexuality is central. It is why she endured the pain of leaving her good, but sexually unsatisfying marriage. For her the women's movement rescued her from an isolation that began as a child when she realized she was attracted to girls and culminated when her strong feelings for women finally made her realize she had to get a divorce. Ellen revels in her relationship with Dolores, and as an activist fights to ensure that older gays and lesbians are not forced back into the closet in nursing homes and senior centers.
Still Doing It. not only delves into each woman's personal history but also into the broader history these women lived through. Archival footage, stills and music are integrated to take the audience from the 1940s and 1950's to the explosive energy of the women's movement and the sexual revolution. Entering these past decades reminds us that these times were far more radical than the conservative times we are living in now. The doc thus illustrates the reality that while many older women are still reluctant to speak about their personal lives there is a new vanguard of women over 65 who came into their own later in life and have taken that strong sense of themselves and their sexuality into their older age. Even the two churchgoing African American great grandmothers, Juanita and Elaine, featured in the film are redefining themselves as they age.
Still Doing It follows the lives of these nine extraordinary older women as well as this society's complex relationship to aging with surprising and revelatory results.
The cult of youth may govern ads and billboards, but if women can find partners at 80 (as the charming Frances does in this film) age is no bar to sexual expression. Eavesdropping on these thoughtful, vivid women-some from traditional backgrounds, some sex radicals, one a lesbian activist is fascinating. This documentary will start a million conversations.
These nine amazing women challenge ageist notions revealing lives filled with romance and revelations. This is a truly important film.
My male and female students were totally engaged and inspired by these groundbreaking older women.
"The heroines of Deirdre Fishel's documentary have broken a taboo almost as strong as the one that prohibits incest. They pursue a sexually active life when they are in their sixties, seventies, and eighties. They are pioneers in resisting the restrictions of an ageist culture and role models to women of the baby boom generation. In the U.S., where women over 65 is the fastest-growing demographic, plastic surgery and youth enhancing beauty products are big business. But rather than trying to turn back the clock, these women insist on celebrating their age and experience. STILL DOING IT is a hoot, a blast of energy, and an irreverent challenge to the ageism harbored by just about everyone in our youth obsessed culture".


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Couple in their 70s make adult film to showcase senior sex
Couple in their 70s make adult film to showcase senior sex https://metro.co.uk/video/couple-70s-make-adult-film-showcase-senior-sex-1877598/ 1877598
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Video: Couple in their 70s make adult film to showcase senior sex
'Soulsex with John and Annie' is adult fimmaker Erika Lust's first mature film - she hopes to show that intimacy doesn't end just because you age.

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OH TOT I was a lobster-eating millionaire at 6, now I'm 15 you'll be stunned by my wealth
DRESS SMART I'm a size 22 & found dress of the summer in Peacocks- I bought it in 2 colours
HOT MAMA I’m a pregnant hot mum - women are always jealous of me but I won’t change
CLEAN UP Mum offers stark warning as she discovered mould hidden in her kid’s sippy cup
The couple even flew to Brazil to meet Julia's parents
TWO women who are preparing to tie the knot say their 37-year age gap doesn’t bother them as they plan their wedding together.
YouTube star Julia Zelg, 24, proposed to her girlfriend, 61-year-old Eileen de Freest, just before Christmas.
Julia, originally from Brazil, first revealed she had a new girlfriend to her fans back in September, after the couple met on Tinder.
Gushing about her new love, Julia told fans: “I’ve met this woman and she’s the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”
“I was just planning to enjoy my single life and have fun and stuff, and in the process of doing that, I met her and just fell for her.”
Their whirlwind romance saw them announce they were moving in together later that same month, and they’ve even adopted a kitten called Brittney who lives with them in their London home.
Julia said in a vlog to fans: “You’re probably thinking, wow you just met and you’re moving in together.”
They both acknowledged it was a “quick and new thing”, but Eileen said they were “consolidating their lives.
“We’re not just acting impulsively we’ve talked about everything.
“There are so many good reasons to move in together. And we’re both really really happy”
Their relationship blossomed, and Eileen, originally from America, said yes after Julia got down on one knee.
The couple jetted to Brazil to meet Julia’s parents for Christmas, with Eileen greeting her as “my future mother-in-law”.
And now the couple are busy planning their wedding, scheduled for later this year.
Despite claiming they’re just like any other couple, their relationship has attracted some criticism.
Elieen said: “She’s young yes but I have rarely met anyone of any age with the emotional maturity and generosity of Julia.
“Listen Julia is a lot younger than me, and I’m a lot older than her…
“She’s not captive she’s my girlfriend, she’s my partner, she’s somebody I love.
“You don’t think I went over this for months in my mind?
“Is she too young for me, what is the cost of being with an older woman?
“I’m not going to take her life away, she will go on long after me and I want her to do that. And I love her so much."
Julia added: “Why is it so wrong that we’re two women and that we have a big age gap?
“There’s nothing wrong and it’s none of your business.”
Despite the abuse they've received, a lot of people have supported the couple.
One person said: “You're both consenting adults and not hurting anyone, keep doing what makes you happy.”
Another agreed, saying: “Two consenting adults in an honest loving relationship. Nothing more precious than that.”
And a third person said: “Honestly the love you have for each other makes my heart melt, never ever should anyone hate on someone for loving another, love is love, I don’t care what anyone says.”
Julia frequently posts loved-up images of the couple on her Instagram page, and they share the journey of their relationship on YouTube as well.
I was a lobster-eating millionaire at 6, now I'm 15 you'll be stunned by my wealth
Kate Middleton sparks concern over plasters on hands & it’s not the first time
I'm a size 22 & found dress of the summer in Peacocks- I bought it in 2 colours
I’m a pregnant hot mum - women are always jealous of me but I won’t change
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