Old Married Couple

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Old Married Couple
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Inspiring Women To Own Their Age & Style

I thought the idea of "married but online dating" might spice things up.


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Subscribe for good times. We'll party like it’s 1979.
I’ve been married for 30 years. There’s a lot to be said for staying together “for better and for worse” but there’s also a reason that countless books and television talk shows explore ways that people can spice up long-term marriages that can inevitably become stale. Marriage might need an intervention.
These thoughts started a while back when my husband and I were in bed watching “Californication” which I hate and he loves. The lead character is married to a gorgeous woman from whom he is separated but with whom he occasionally still has incredibly hot sex. I asked my husband, “Come on, what kind of marriage is that hot after so many years?”
He said, “A marriage where they don’t live together and they sleep with other people.”
And with that, he paused the show, took his nightly sip of water which was on the bedside table, put on his Breathe Right strip and pressed “play,” so that we could watch David Duchovny continue to make some remarkable moves.
“Do you think we’re in a rut?” I asked.
There was no answer. Was he really mulling that over? Was there something he wanted to tell me but didn’t know how to say it? And then I got my answer. I slowly turned to look at him.. He was fast asleep. We were definitely in a rut.
So many of our friends were divorced. In our wedding pictures, we are pretty much the only couple that is still together. I’m happy that we are but my husband snoring after two minutes of conversation started me wondering if there were ways to shake up…or in our case, wake up, a long term marriage.
I had this on my mind when I was watching “The Bachelorette,” my guilty pleasure, which I love and he hates. It’s a great fantasy. The guy or girl gets to date all these people and there’s always the potential that something exciting is around the corner. They’re new to each other, they get to be romantic, they get to be the self that you can only be when you’re in the throes of getting to know someone. It’s that exciting beginning phase that’s fun to experience. Was there a way to translate that experience but still keep the sanctity of marriage?
Soon after this, I was having lunch with my son and he was looking at his cell phone which I no longer take as an insult but now accept as a third party to all my interactions with him. I asked what he was looking at.
At first I thought he was saying something in Yiddish but then I remembered that he dropped out of Hebrew school 15 years earlier so that was unlikely.
“It’s a site where you can see who’s in the general area that you’re in and if you like their picture, you make arrangements to meet.”
“Really? And you actually have girls that respond?”
“For sure. It’s fun. Usually, it winds up being just a drink and one or the other doesn’t want to pursue it, but it’s still fun.”
I left this lunch wondering if there weren’t some version of this that could actually spice up a marriage but still remain innocent. What if a couple decided that they had taken each other so much for granted that they actually didn’t see each other as people anymore; they were loving, caring fixtures in each others’ lives useful for killing bugs in the house or making dinner reservations, but no longer a person of the opposite sex for whom they could feel anything new. What might they do about this?
On a night soon after that my husband and I were in bed and just before we put the television on I stop him.
“Doesn’t it bother you that we have all these routines in our marriage that we almost never swerve from?”
I was silent for a moment not sure how to continue.
“Are we done?” he asked. I saw his hand edge closer to the TV clicker. I quickly put my hand over it.
“See that’s just what I mean. We don’t really even hear each other anymore. Maybe we need to do something totally crazy, completely nuts to shake things up. To make it exciting between us.”
Now he was quiet. I looked at him closely. He had a look on his face that I didn’t immediately recognize. I realized that was the look of him listening to me.
“It’s not like I have a thought out plan. It’s more of an idea. Not even really an idea. A notion. Not even a notion. A fantasy. Like a fantasy notion.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said.
“Okay. So here’s the thought. Just a thought remember.”
“I know already. A fantasy notion thought!”
“We go on some online dating site. Just for the fun of it. We both put in our information or profiles or whatever you call it, with a fake name of course, and we agree that we’d each go out on a few dates—never more than once with the same person–and then we come home to each other and share what it was like.”
“Are you saying you want to have one-time sex with people we meet online?”
“Absolutely not! Definitely not! No, no, no sex. Just a make-believe game more or less. To feel like we’re doing something forbidden except we won’t and then we share the experience with each other so it’s really between us. I mean it’s crazy, I know.”
“I think that is an incredibly intriguing idea. And even more incredibly dangerous.”
“Why?” I asked. “I mean no sex, only one date allowed. We couldn’t get into trouble with just that.”
“Would I like to hear about a date you had with a guy? Yeah, that might be kinda hot,” he said. “But we haven’t been on a date with anyone in more than 29 years. Are you so sure how it would feel to have someone else get interested in you—or get interested in me?”
“But we’d have an agreement,” I said. “One date, no matter what.”
I’d like to say that he paused here to give it some thought. But there was no pause. Not for a second.
“What should I put on my profile?” he asked.
“Your profile? Why do you even know the term ‘profile’? And, really, I throw out an idea, a fantasy idea, and you’re already onto your profile?”
“I just wondered what you thought my selling points should be.”
“Really?” I said. You want me to help you out with your profile? How about ‘mature man seeking a woman who likes to eat only plain broiled chicken or fish seven nights a week, who finds snoring like a freight train a turn on and who can’t get enough of the Major League Baseball Network.’”
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re not seriously wanting me to consider this?”
Did I? Here’s where things got fuzzy. Did I want him to think that it was a good idea? Would I be totally threatened and maybe even angry that he didn’t reject this idea and say, no way would he consider sharing me with anyone on any level? And what if I said yes, let’s do it and it led to us mistrusting one another and we lose the good part of taking each for granted which means I can wear torn underwear and he won’t judge me.
“No,” I said. “I’m suddenly getting a picture of me having to pick out your tie for your date while I’m at home waiting for someone under 90 to match with me.”
Maybe the best part of having had this conversation is that he stayed awake for it. It’s possible that I’m really on to something but it may be better left to the world of make-believe.
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Purple Rat: If we keep him for ourselves we can do whatever we want with him. Brown Rat: Does that include baking him into a quiche? Purple Rat: NO, IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THAT!

Magneto: I generated a pocket wormhole. Professor X: I don't believe this. I leave you alone for barely a night...


In Calvin and Hobbes , Susie's fantasy sequences depict her and Calvin as an old married couple. Their arguments tend towards utter ridiculousness, since Calvin insists on acting like the immature six-year-old he really is.


Finding Dory has Destiny and Bailey, a pair of "neighbours" who frequently bickers over random stuffs, but works together very well when they need to, and Bailey's echolocation serves as Destiny's guide (because she's really nearsighted).
Sid and Momma Dino’s interactions in Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs when their different parenting methods are brought up. When trying to feed the baby T-Rexes, Sid points out how he tries to have a conversation with her and all she does is growl at him.
Lilo & Stitch :
Gantu and Reuben (Experiment 625) in the series, have several bicker spats with each other as they make snarky comments towards each other which range from their professions to their looks.
Jumba and Pleakley have some of their moments of this as well, which includes disguising themselves as such a couple and even having some spats with each other.
The Lion King : Timon and Pumbaa do not show much of this in the films but its very evident in their own series as they frequently bicker with each other. Apparently, their philosophy of "Hakuna Matata" does not protect them from having such bicker spats.
Used in a deleted scene of The Princess and the Frog , between Naveen and Tiana .
Storks : Junior and Tulip quickly get into this, though they also argue like a newly married couple when they are dealing with the baby.
In Strange Magic , late in the film the fairy knight Roland realizes that his ex-fiancée the fairy princess Marianne and the seemingly " evil " Bog King have fallen in love because they start arguing like a couple. He asks, in a very shocked way, "Are you actually having... a lover's tiff? "
Zootopia :
Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde. While its ambiguous as to whether their relationship is romantic or platonic, Judy acts like a nagging wife towards Nick, who in return acts like an lazy and oafish husband pretending to listen. They showed this while trying to solve the missing mammal cases.
Bucky and Pronk Oryx-Antlerson , Judy Hopps' noisy neighbors, argue like this for at least half of their screen time (limited as it was), though their arguments are mostly childish exchanges along the line of "No, YOU shut up!" . According to co-producer Jared Bush (who voiced Pronk), Bucky and Pronk actually are a married couple !

Thumper Klein: Why don't you two just get married right now? You already argue like an old married couple.

Diaval: How could you do that to me? Maleficent: You said anything I need. Diaval: Yeah, but not a dog! Dogs are nasty and vicious and they eat birds! Maleficent: Fine. Next time I'll turn you into a mealy worm. Diaval: I'll be a mealy worm, gladly!

Jackson: What? Lisa: You know what. My dad. Make the call. Your part of the deal. [Jackson takes the phone and puts it on the receiver] Jackson: I still need you. Lisa: You promised . Jackson: And I'll keep that promise...

Han: I was just trying to be helpful! Leia: When has that ever helped? Han: [opens his mouth] Leia: And don't say the Death Star .

..."On the muddy water they bickered awhile, in the fading light, until the bickering grew slowly abstract, becoming part of their song after a little longer."


Well There's Your Problem : Justin and Liam are former roommates and college friends, and can and will frequently bicker about their respective families and personal lives on-air or bring up bizarre stories of trips and experiences they've shared together (often involving alcohol, trains, tourist traps and American football). Alice brought up their tendency to bicker like an old married couple on their first liveshow.

Simon Mayo : (reading a listener's complaint about her husband not listening to her opinion on films anymore) "This is for the sake of marital harmony." Mark Kermode : What, ours?

Alan: The exact form this takes is not easily defined... Sandi: Now, I've explained this; it'll be like any other marriage. We won't have sex, we'll just sit in bed and eat burgers. Alan : We did that last week. ( Beat ) Sandi : That's true, actually...


Hyeon and Nadine from Dawn of a New Age: Oldport Blues spend much of their time together bickering, which entertains multiple characters who can't help but see it as a spat between lovebirds. They were actually a couple for a while, though their relationship now is inarguably platonic since Nadine has come to realise that she's a lesbian.


In the final scene of The Moon is Blue , when Patty suddenly starts arguing with Don about spending so much money on gambling, he tells her, "Will you kindly shut up? We're not married yet." She smiles, realizing what he's just said.

Phoenix: (after Edgeworth withholds some info) Why didn't you just say so in the first place? Edgeworth: You're the one who screamed "HOLD IT!" and cut me off!

Kitten: [wondering whether the Emperor would tell him the history of the universe] I'm much unsure if he'd actually want to tell me. I mean, if he never told you, why would he tell me? Magnus: Well, he DOES seem to like you despite being grumpiness incarnate. He relies on you to listen to his boundless complaints and to inform him about, to quote, "stupid shit". I'd even say he trusts you. He certainly trust you more than he trusts me or any of his other sons for that matter. Actually, are you sure you're not his wife or something? Kitten: No, of course not, but... Really? You think so?? Magnus: Indeed, stepmother. Kitten: First of all, quiet you!

Mackenzie: This [football] team is a juggernaut Jenna (Darabond) . So like it or not, they're going to state. And when they win state, everyone's gonna want to hang out with them. And who will they be standing next to? The brand new, better than ever Overland Park Cheer Squad. Shay: Yeah, because when they win, everybody's going to think they're cool, so we'll be cool too! Mackenzie: Shay, that's literally what I just said. Shay: No—no, I-I know, I was-I was just saying. Mackenzie: OK, well, you're not really adding anything to the discussion. Shay: I'm sorry, you didn't leave much room. Mackenzie: OK, that's because I got this . Shay: Well, as the Head Cheerleader , I feel like I should have the final word. Mackenzie: You know what Shay, you're really letting the Head Cheerleader thing go to your head. I'm clearly better at bitching people out so just let me handle it, okay? ( Beat ) Shay: I'm sorry Mackenzie , just because you're the loudest doesn't mean that you're the best at bitching someone out. Mackenzie: OH, YOU WANNA HEAR LOUD, SHAY?! Shay: Oh here we go , here we go!

Tucker: I'm still picking up the reds' transmissions from when we broadcast that Lopez song. There's a lot of chatter. Church: Well, are you at least getting any useful information? Tucker: Nah, it's just the same two guys bickering like an old married couple. I've only been listening for like five minutes and I can already tell they're really in love. Why can't they see it?

Grif: Hey, what are you doing? Simmons: What does it look like? I'm getting in the jeep. Grif: What are we, on a date? Get in the back. Simmons: Oh, you're so insecure.


The Reaper and Bryony in this Catena strip. Literal Word of God .
Dumbing of Age :
This is how Dorothy defines Billie and Walky's relationship. Billie is not amused .
When Joe and Danny start bickering, Jacob comments "You guys are a little married, huh."
Girl Genius had it Played for Laughs with Moloch commenting on Violetta and Tarvek here . With Ironic Echo when Tarvek reflects it on Violetta and Moloch himself (she had some interest in him, though it's not clear how much reciprocated) later .
Practically every character who is sarcastic or has a bad temperament in Homestuck (Read: EVERYONE) is prone to this, most notably Karkat with Terezi , Rose with Dave , and Dirk with Roxy . Other noteworthy examples include the endless bickering of Spades Slick and Diamonds Droog, and John and Jade later on in the story.
The Inexplicable Adventures of Bob! , Bob says this to the Pirates of Ipecac. And it turns out he's right!
In Plume , this is what "cooperation" between Corrick and Dom looks like, with Dom being the carefree one and Corrick trying to play the part of a responsible adult.
This is how Mary describes Billie and Danny arguing in Roomies! (yes, same Billie as DoA, or at least an AU version). Neither of them are amused.
Tagii in Schlock Mercenary while joking about "her" self and the captain after he was inconvenienced by his father's wishes to get him married . Of course, Tagii is an AI... but they both know it's possible — Tagon personally knows two AI who got Wetware Body , one of which indeed married a human — so his stunned reaction was not groundless.
Karl Tagon jokes about Kathryn and Nick — he didn't know yet that their history together doesn't leave much chances to that , but they indeed did shut up.
Anaak Jahad's parents in Tower of
Sexy Legs Sex
Alexa Gc Nude
Nice Pussy Naked