Old Man Pregnant

Old Man Pregnant

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I met my pediatrician husband on an Internet dating site. He liked my profile, but he said that he was really hoping to have more children. He was 50 and I was a 49-year-old mother of three grown children—not to mention that I'd already become a grandmother! I thought a new baby wasn't likely to happen, so, longing to be just a few years younger, I wished him luck. Months later, though, he e-mailed again, imploring me to give him another chance. The issue of children, he said, we would leave to God.

We dated long-distance for six months, before we married in 2010 and I moved from New York to Michigan to be with him. Three years later, God gave us an answer: I became a 53-year-old who was pregnant with twins.

A year into our marriage, I consulted with a doctor who told me it could happen, because I was "young for my age." For my husband and me—both divorced, and with six children between us, ranging in age from 16 to 27—the option to reinvent was intriguing. And with our collective physical, emotional and intellectual resources, we felt more competent than ever to be parents. For us, hindsight has yielded a better handle on how early childhood experiences and consistent parenting might influence development later in life. Plus, this time we'd have each other.

It didn't take very long for us to learn a new acronym: BFP (Big Fat Positive) on our pregnancy test. Soon after, I had an ultrasound. "There's the heartbeat!" the tech pointed out, corroborating what I already knew. "And there's the other one."

"You didn't know you were having twins?" she asked me.

"No." My son, daughter-in-law, and grandson were visiting and I knew if I went home, I wouldn't be able to contain the news. I wanted my husband to be the first to know, so I ran to his office, darting between patients. Closing the door to his office, I showed him the ultrasound pictures marked TWIN A and TWIN B. His jaw dropped. "Are you sure?" I nodded. He was scared, but delighted.

Having twins propelled me from what had been a moderately high-risk pregnancy, because of my age, into a definitely high-risk pregnancy, because carrying twins can be difficult. The doctor visits were more frequent and the tests more thorough. The good news is that I have enough ultrasound images of these children to fill an album!

As it became obvious that my "middle-age spread" was turning into a bump, we began to leak the news. Reactions were mixed, especially among our children. One child laughed until she cried, then laughed again and cried some more. Another felt angry and rejected. One child seemed eager to teach our babies ice hockey and lacrosse. My oldest son, a lawyer, was concerned about how we would provide for the babies in case something happened to us. I assured him that we had plans in place—and even asked him to be part of those plans. My 3-year-old grandson just wanted to know when his uncles or aunts would be ready for a playdate.

Eventually, we began to tell our friends. Most friends our age were marrying off their children, enjoying their grandchildren, and talking about retiring to warmer places. As they downsized, we were upsizing, buying cribs and changing tables, setting up a nursery, car seats, and bouncy chairs—all in duplicate. Even though it was odd for some of the grandmothers—as well as some of the girls my daughter-in-law's age—to get used to treating us as new parents, their excitement matched ours.

The home I so carefully decorated with doodads, knick-knacks and glass tables radically changed to accommodate babies, then toddlers and (yikes) teenagers. We began thinking about schools and I begged advice from women barely older than my own children about breast pumps and local resources. And as I ran back and forth to New York to check on my frail and aging parents, I prayed that I will be able to effectively care for them as I jumped back on the mommy track. Life has become a weave of interesting challenges.

When the doctor first told me I'm younger than my age, I thought he was being funny. I had all the aches and pains of a middle-aged woman trying to keep up with life as it flew by. But, weirdly, the transition to carrying a baby again made me feel younger and stronger—even as I entered the late stage of pregnancy. It could have been the rush of hormones surging through my system, or the eagerness to once again nurse and nurture newborn babies. Perhaps it was the excitement of having twins. Or maybe it's just the novel anticipation of starting over with someone that I'm committed to and love so much, and the wonder of learning that reinvention is possible at every stage of life.

Update: On February 15, 2013, Judith gave birth to twin boys!

Judith S. Lederman is the author of The Ups & Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child and Joining the Thin Club .

Copyright © 2013 Meredith Corporation.

Reviewed by Dan Brennan, MD on March 18, 2021
There’s no maximum age that stops a man from being able to have a baby. You can become a father long into your older years , but there are risks.
When you get older, your sperm quality isn’t as great as it used to be. This happens for a few reasons, like:
For most men, these problems happen after the age of 50.
Like women who have children when they’re older, there are risks for men who have babies at an older age.
Your baby might have higher odds of getting a genetic disorder. As you age, you’re more likely to have gene changes, or mutations, in your sperm. If you have a baby at an older age, you have higher chances of passing on a genetic disorder .
The baby’s risk for mental health or brain disorders may be higher. A father’s older age can cause schizophrenia , bipolar disorder, or autism spectrum disorder.
The chances of having a premature baby may be higher. Some studies have shown that men who are 45 or older have a 14% chance of having a baby born early . Men who are 50 years or older have a 28% chance of their newborn baby staying in the neonatal intensive care unit.
Your baby’s mother has a higher risk of getting gestational diabetes. Your age can also affect the mother’s health during pregnancy. When you’re older, she has a higher chance of getting high blood sugar while pregnant ( gestational diabetes ) and greater odds of needing a C-section.
There’s a risk for low birth weight and problems at birth. Babies with older dads have higher chances of being born underweight. Low birth weight can cause other health problems later in life. Your baby also has a higher risk of having seizures and needing to be put on oxygen.
You might have trouble having a baby . As you age, you can have trouble with infertility. This is usually because your sperm quality isn’t great. You might have less sperm, or the sperm may have trouble moving fast enough to fertilize the egg.
Late fatherhood is happening more often these days. Both men and women are deciding to have babies later in life for different reasons. There are benefits to these decisions. You might:
On the other hand, there are reasons to think twice about having a baby when you’re older:
Raising kids is expensive. Not everyone can afford to have a baby later in life, and the extra cost of raising kids might be stressful. You may find that planning for retirement and your child’s college tuition at the same time is hard.
Infertility is expensive. Trouble having a baby is more common when you’re older. If you need medical help to conceive , it can also be expensive.
You’ll need to adjust to a busy household. While having a new baby is hard at any age, adjusting to the changes of newborns and young kids later in life can be challenging.
You may need to work longer . Having a baby when you’re older might change your retirement plans .
If you’re planning to have a baby when you’re 60 or older, it’s a good idea to discuss it with your doctor. They can test your health and help you make the best decision.
BMJ : “Association of paternal age with perinatal outcomes between 2007 and 2016 in the United States: population based cohort study.”
Journal of Epidemiology Community Health : “Advanced paternal age: How old is too old?”
Reproductive Facts: “Age and Fertility (booklet).”
Reviews in Urology : “Fertility and the Aging Male.”
Stanford Medicine: “Older fathers associated with increased birth risks.”
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https://news.amomama.com/116205-old-man-tells-doctor-20-year-wife-pregna.html
Here’s a hilarious story of an old man ecstatic to find out that his 20-year-old wife was pregnant.
The 86-year-old man was excited to tell his doctor that he has impregnated his much younger wife.
Here’s how their conversation goes…
Asked by the doctor about how he was feeling, the 86-year-old said, “Things are great, and I’ve never felt better! I now have a 20-year-old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that, doc?”
Follow us on our Twitter account, @amomama_usa , to read more jokes.
The doctor considered the question for a minute, and then began to tell a story.
“I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter and never misses a season. One day he was setting off to go hunting. In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking cane instead of his gun.”
“As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver sitting at the water’s edge. He realized he left his gun at home, and so, he couldn’t shoot the magnificent creature. Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if it was his favorite hunting rifle, and yelled ‘bang bang’. Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell dead.”
“Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.
The 86-year-old replied, “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else pumped a few rounds into that beaver.”
The doctor replied, “My point exactly.”
Reading a humorous story like this one is always fun and will definitely brighten up our day.
Another story that will make you laugh is about the teacher who gets frustrated when her student kept giving stupid answers to an easy question.
However, she wasn't ready for his last reply. Read the story below.
"If I gave you two cats and another two cats and then another two, how many would you have?” the teacher asked a student named Johnny.
"No no, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny then repeated his answer to her question.
Got frustrated, the teacher rubbed her temples and took a deep breath.
“Come on Johnny, you’re better than this. Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
With a smile, the teacher said, "Good. Now, if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and then another two, how many would you have?”
"Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?”
"Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!”
Please don’t forget to share these stories with your family and friends if these make you laugh.
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The reason why I am writing to you is to seek your advice. I am a regular reader of your column. I had a child when I was very young. The man who got me pregnant abandoned me, and my parents said I could not stay in the house because it was not convenient. They did not like the guy who got me pregnant. I didn't have a choice but to start another relationship. But this time it was with an older man. His daughter was living with him and she had three children. His common-law wife used to spend six months in Jamaica and six months in the USA.
He told his daughter that he could not leave me to suffer, so she should accept me as a sister and not give me trouble. He was a farmer. So, we always had ground provision. He gave me money to buy chicken and fish and so on. His daughter was always grumbling that the gas was being used up because two of us were cooking. She told me that we should just cook one pot and I agreed. But when I told her father, he said that means she would want money from him, and she has her children's father, and so he is not in favour of that. He told her I should cook for myself
One day I was home and he brought a two-burner stove and told me I should not use anything for his daughter. He even bought me cups, knives, forks and plates. I was very happy. His daughter didn't have to complain about the gas being used up because I had my own cylinder. I couldn't cook very well, but I learned. I told the man the truth and he went out the first Sunday I was there and bought chicken.
His daughter's children's father liked me and offered me money. I told him I didn't want his money. He called me a fool and said I am with an old man. I did not know that the man would approach him and his daughter and warn him to leave me alone or leave his house. They threatened me when he was not around and I got scared.
One day I asked him if he would allow me to look for another place to live because his daughter doesn't want me there. He said no way. He told his daughter's boyfriend that he should leave and he can take his daughter with him, but I am not going anywhere. The children's father left the house, but he would come to the house when the man was not there. His daughter gave me a hard time. She told lies on me, but her father did not believe her.
When his woman came from abroad, he sat me down with her and told her everything. The only thing he did not talk the truth about is our going to bed. When she asked him if he went to bed with me, he said no, and he swore on the Bible that he never did that. She asked me if it was true and I told her that we have never had sex. She was a church woman. So, I started to go to church with her. I found out that she and the daughter, who was living at the house, did not get along, so she couldn't tell her anything bad about me. I behaved myself while she was in Jamaica. She also taught me how to cook oxtail and 'run down' and other things. She paid me to wash her clothes and also for washing the man's clothes.
I got closer and closer to this man. Now, I am in trouble because he got me pregnant. I should tell you that his daughter moved out with her children and is living in another district. When I became pregnant, that's the time he told me that he is not married to this woman. So, I didn't need to be afraid of her putting me out.
I don't have anywhere to go and I am pregnant. My stomach is showing. My mother comes to the house to see me, but she doesn't know that it is the old man who got me pregnant. She thinks it's a young fellow who comes to the house. I gave her that impression.
Pastor, I don't know what to do. Please, give me your advice.
You have been very unfortunate. You became sexually active very early and you got pregnant. The man who impregnated you did not support you. He left you in the cold, so to speak. So, I can see why you were so glad to have an intimate relationship with this much older man. He should have known that his daughter wasn't going to accept you. She saw you as a little girl who did not know your place and was out to make trouble in her father's home.
This man tried to play a game, but the game did not work very well. He pretended that he was only assisting you and his common-law wife believed him. You did not even protect yourself when you were going to bed with this man. Neither did he protect you. And his daughter wanted you out. But eventually he got her boyfriend and herself to go on their own.
His common-law wife is naive. He convinced her that he was not going to bed with you. How could she think that you were not doing so when both of you were living together? But now you are pregnant by him and he is trying to tell you that this woman doesn't have a voice because they are not married. Well, don't listen to his nonsense. She has a big voice. They have been living together for over five years, so he cannot run her out without compensating her. If he doesn't want her, he has to give her what is duly hers. What he is trying to tell you is that you need not fear. She may have to go and leave you.
I suggest that whenever this lady asks you who got you pregnant, you should tell her the truth. Let your mother know also that you were not impregnated by the young man that she knows. You were impregnated by this old man and tell her the absolute truth about everything. She is older and mature and she might be able to advise you what to do.

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