Old Guys With Big Dicks
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Old Guys With Big Dicks
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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We're not size queens or anything but the HBO comedy Hung —about a man (Thomas Jane) with a large penis—premieres in June, and it got us thinking about big penises, the ultimate status symbol for men*. After the jump, a list of famous ones.
1.) Rasputin** The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.
2.) Liam Neeson In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty , Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."
3.) Jay-Z Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."
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4.) John Holmes Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.
5.) Vincent Gallo Have you ever seen Brown Bunny ? (Link NSFW)
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.
7.) Wilt Chamberlain His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.
8.) Tommy Lee Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen . It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)
9.) Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."
10.) Alexis Arquette Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)
10.) President Johnson "He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘ Jumbo .'"
11.) Errol Flynn He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano . A classical pianist!
12.) James Woods That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.
13.) Colin Farrell It looks like a baby's arm . (Link NSFW)
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.
15.) Anthony Keides The girls on Metal Sludge —a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."
16.) Tony Kanal The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.
17.) Tony Danza He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)
18.) Ray J Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)
19.) Dan Rather The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."
20.) Simon Rex It's no wonder why he used to do porno.
*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt. **This list is not compiled by size order.
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MANY men crave a larger willy – but is bigger always better?
Recently a Sun reader wrote to Dear Deidre saying his large penis was destroying his relationship .
He told how his girlfriend doesn’t enjoy sex and it takes her a week to recover from one session.
So how big is too big? A recent survey found the average UK penis is 6.36in, with the biggest ones found in Wales, where they average 6.56in. Meanwhile it emerged that under a Scotsman’s kilt is an average of 6.45in.
Georgette Culley hears from three well-endowed men and their partners, while a single bloke tells what it’s like living with a ten-incher and a sex therapist gives her view.
PHOTOGRAPHER Joe O’Brien, 31, lives with his long-term partner, make-up artist Jasmine Jones, 24, in Wellingborough, Northants.
HE SAYS: "I’ve never known any different but according to statistics, in the UK my willy is well above average at nine inches.
"To me, size does matter. Mine has made me confident in every aspect of life, from getting changed in the gym to impressing a new sexual partner. I’ve never had to worry about my size or about getting naked.
"I think this is why I’ve always had a healthy sex life and a lot of sexual partners.
"But men shouldn’t get hung up on their size. Everybody likes different things in the bedroom and communication is the key to a successful relationship.
"But for me, it’s a pleasure knowing I can please Jasmine with my goods."
JASMINE SAYS: "Joe is the largest I’ve been with, but it’s no problem. To me he’s the perfect size, and it’s definitely improved our sex life.
“With a bigger size you can be more adventurous and experimental in bed and you don’t need to rely on foreplay as much. Having had some pretty unmemorable sexual experiences, I often didn’t enjoy sex much until I met Joe.
“I believe his size is one of the things that makes him feel more confident, both in his body and in his general outlook on life.
“And I’m sure many women would agree, confidence is a very attractive quality in a man."
BOOKIE Kris Dixon, 23, lives with partner Sydnie Bradbury, 21, and their one-year-old daughter in West Drayton, Middlesex.
HE SAYS: "I’ve had girls who have refused to have sex with me because my penis is too big – around eight inches when erect.
"One even needed hospital treatment because I accidentally injured her down below. All these experiences really scarred me.
"Having a big penis doesn’t mean sex will be good for the woman. After all, it’s not the size of the ocean, it’s the motion.
"I envy guys with an average-size penis. Six inches would be more than enough for me, but with Syd’s help we’ve managed to make my size work for us.
"My advice to big men who worry about injuring their partner is take it slow and maximise foreplay."
SYDNIE SAYS: "Kris’s penis is like a big vegetable and I nearly died of shock when I saw it.
“At first, sex was tough and we had to use lots of lube, and even then it was still painful.
“With a bigger penis you have to experiment with lots of positions. The best for me is on top, so I can control it.
“When we first met, Kris was worried about his size and feared he’d hurt me, especially as past partners have been too scared to have sex.
“This caused a complex and it took us a while to enjoy sex. Now our sex life is great but we have to be careful. People presume only small guys have complexes, but Kris’s size affected him too."
RIDING instructor Joe Hutchins, 23, from Penryn, Cornwall, is partnered with student Tally Hopkins, 22.
HE SAYS: "Growing up, I always had to get trousers tailored around the crotch area.
"Over the years I learnt how to position my penis when I’m horse riding, but it still causes me a lot of pain when I’m showjumping.
"Women can have breast reductions, but men can’t have penis reductions.
"I’ve always been very gentle with partners. I’ve had girls burst into tears from pain during sex.
"Tally has been amazing and patient. My advice to other guys with this problem is to not be embarrassed and seek help."
TALLY SAYS: "Before I met Joe I’d never had sex with a man whose penis was above six inches.
“When I felt his bulge for the first time it was terrifying. We tried to have sex but it was too painful and we had to stop.
“Joe was very understanding and a few days later we tried again, but it was no good. I was crying in pain.
“We saw a GP who explained that just seeing a well-endowed man can be scary, as you can create a mental block and freeze.
“She advised me to do yoga, to become more flexible and strengthen my pelvic floor muscles, and to try different positions. She also said always to use lube and try a numbing cream initially.
“After four weeks of yoga, I’d loosened up and we had sex for the first time. Now our sex is good and his size doesn’t scare me.”
SINGLE builder Albert Pritchard, 34, from Romford, Essex, reckons his size is ruining his sex life and he can’t get a girlfriend because of it.
HE SAYS: "I have a ten-inch penis and it has wrecked a lot of my relationships. I have a high sex drive but women say sex with me is too sore for them, particularly in positions such as doggy style – which is my favourite.
"It became such a problem in one of my relationships that we were arguing about it all the time and it completely ruined our intimacy.
"Every day when I looked down it was like a big reminder of what we were missing. In the end we broke up, blaming big differences – excuse the pun.
"Another girl I was seeing tried so hard to accommodate me that we even went to a sexual health clinic for help.
"A nurse told us to make sure we incorporated lubricant into our sex life, but it took a lot of the joy and passion out as a result, as we always felt like we were preparing for a surgical operation beforehand.
"I always get a lot of stares from other men when I’m getting changed at the gym. They might be looking at me with envy but they wouldn’t if they knew the problems it caused.
"I also have to be careful with the boxers and trousers I buy – too small and I can be really uncomfortable.
SEX therapist Louise Van Der Velde writes:
Big willies can be a real problem in the bedroom. I’ve treated lots of couples with this problem.
People assume only men with small packages feel inadequate, but so do men well above the average size.
The stress can cause women to mentally dread having sex.
This causes them to seize up, which is the worst thing that can happen, as it then makes it even harder to have sex.
I’d encourage couples to engage fully in foreplay, making massage a part of their loving, and urge the men to go very slow and add lots of lubricant.
I got a Shein haul - my mate laughed when she saw me in a 'sexy' cut-out dress
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