Nurses Penis

Nurses Penis
by Spike Friedman Published: Sep 11, 2017
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After Colorado nurses were suspended for mocking a dead patient's genitals, we couldn't help but wonder: how often does this happen, really?
Last week, Denver7 news reported that five nurses at Denver Health Medical Centerwere suspended for allegedly mocking the unusually large package of a patient who died in their facility. The nurses in question are alleged to have opened the man’s body bag to admire his big penis after the patient was deceased. Yikes.
When we heard this story, we had one question: how common is this sort of thing, really? We know that doctors and nurses are supposed to remain clinical and objective, but they’re human, too. So are they regularly checking out their patients' junk? And if so, are they going so far as to show off their, um, unusual attributes to their colleagues? And is there specific ethical guidance given in the case of genital abnormalities, like a particularly large penis ? To get answers, we asked people on the front lines: nurses, doctors, and medical students.
Broadly speaking, the answer is that it's pretty unusual for nurses to show a dead patient's penis to their co-workers. “Honestly, we see so much of the body and so many variations that it all starts to blur together," a working nurse practitioner told Men's Health . "[A penis] becomes no more remarkable than a kneecap is to anyone else.” (Due to the sensitivity of the subject matter, most of the people we spoke with chose to remain anonymous.) Which is to say that despite what you might think of your penis, it is unlikely that there’s anything going on down there that would register with doctors and nurses.
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This is, in fact, a fairly large part of medical experts' training: in medical school, nurses and doctors are shown the most extreme examples of graphic medical cases and deformities, so they are able to maintain their professionalism when confronted with these instances IRL. “In training, we were shown some particularly bad images,” said the nurse practitioner, “so you don't ever make your patient uncomfortable by looking shocked.” Additionally, since nurses are usually the ones doing bedside care and administering catheters, they're not super likely to be fazed by a large penis.
That said, it's not unheard of for doctors and nurses to cross professional boundaries. Men's Health spoke with an attending physician with five years of experience who could recall numerous examples of his colleagues making inappropriate comments about patients' bodies. “I even remember being told that some guy had really swollen testicles " on an MRI, he said. Additionally, dark humor abounds in the ER and trauma surgeons often use such jokes as a coping mechanism to deal with the extreme nature of their work. So while what happened in Denver is unusual, it is quite possible that if you have particularly interesting genitalia, the subject will come up in conversation in a break room.
The question of whether it is appropriate to joke about a patient's genitals because more cut and dry after a patient dies. Respect for cadavers is taught from the earliest stages at medical school. Anna*, a medical student based in New York City, told Men's Health “our cadaver is our ‘first patient.’ We are supposed to treat them with respect." That said, she added, "anatomy professors will draw your attention to medical abnormalities. For example, my cadaver had such an abnormally small penis that my anatomy professor called him a 'she' by accident."
It turned out that this was likely due to a medical abnormality, and that the cadaver was likely intersex. "Once that was established, students from other tables were encouraged to come look at our cadaver," she said. In such cases, if a medical abnormality is involved, "it seems like it's fair game to ogle" for educational purposes, Anna said. "But I haven't heard of anyone going around talking about penis size or different vaginal shapes or anything like that. My understanding is that that would be considered highly unprofessional.”
So if you’ve got a particularly noteworthy set of genitals, it’s certainly possible your medical professional will discuss them with their colleagues out of earshot. But going so far as to show off a dead body for non-professional purposes is clearly out of bounds. As the nurse practitioner we spoke to said of the Denver nurses, “if they were doing what they were accused of doing, they likely deserve to be fired.”
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My girlfriend is a nurse practioner student and I’m struggling to get used to a few things. When she exam on the teaching patient and told me about how she palpated the penis it was a bit awkward. Just recently, during her clinicals (sort of shadowing a doctor/NP), the patient allowed her to stay in the room when the doctor examined the guy’s penis and then she had the opportunity to palpate it. She called me on her way home from clinical and said “guess what I got to do today”. I know she’s seen plenty of penises during her few years as a registered nurse but her excitement is a bit awkward for me. I am comfortable with my size so it’s not me worried about how I stack up. I think it is more her excitement which I hope is just because doing those types of exams is new. She’s told me that it’s clinical (which I get), I think I just don’t want her to see mine as “clinical”. Any thoughts/experiences from nurses?
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reader, chigirl  + , writes (23 April 2015):
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12 Answers - ( Newest, 23 April 2015)

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Well AH,
Like the title says, what do nurses/doctors do when patients get a boner during bathing/examinations etc...?
I came across (pun-5 ) a post on the site www.healthcaremagic.com by this guy who had an unfortunate incident
And i quote...
"help. I just had a physical exam and i new from the begining that i was going to get an erection but tried my best to fight it and failed. (and this is all while the nurse is prepping me before the doctor came in). When the doctor came in and checked my penis and testicles i went to full mass. I was so embarrassed but then when i had the prostate exam i ejaculated all over the counter i was bending over. Needless to say i can never show my face in there again. Has this ever happened to anyone? Soon as i felt that "feeling" that i was close, i tried my best to think of just about anything that would prevent me from exploding but when i clamped down on my sphincter, it made things worse and i shot my load off. I was so embarrassed that i could barely breath. -and i clamped down while his fingers were in me, which resulted in a very forceful pressure against my prostate and you can figure out what happened then"
He doesn't exactly say what the doctor/nurse did or said after it happened but my god, can you just imagine the humiliation........ and the hilarity ?
I read this 20 minutes ago and im still laughing.
Seriously though, what do doctors/nurses do to try and prevent this happening, im genuinely intrigued!
Any nurses/doctors out there who have an answer to this?
Well AH,
Like the title says, what do nurses/doctors do when patients get a boner during bathing/examinations etc...?

Get the spoon out and tap them like a hard boiled egg

They just act natural and later tell their partner all about it later in the "how was work hun" conversation

Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.
Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.
I have a few nurse friends and you'd be surprised at how many people actually think it is part of their duties to "relieve" a patient when they get a hard on. :pac:
Thankfully I have never come across a patient with a boner.
No.
Don't throw yourself down those stairs starbelgrade, it's just not worth it now.

Well if pornos have taught me anything about life (and they have) is that the nurse would probably look shocked before horsing it down her throat while furiously masturbating.
Then, presumably, she'd break out the enema kit and 4 gallons of milk.

i broke both my arms on purpose to see if the nurse would 'help me out' when i got a stiffy..........
i found out alright, a filipino male nurse 'helped me out'
*crawls back upstairs to the missus, third leg in hand*
If the internet has taught me anything, it is this.
They often call a second nurse in to help.

OP here - cheers for the jokes folks
So has this genuinely ever happened to anyone ye know? Doctor/Nurse or patient?
Get the spoon out and tap them like a hard boiled egg

Leave the fantasies where they belong - in your head OP.
OP here - cheers for the jokes folks
So has this genuinely ever happened to anyone ye know? Doctor/Nurse or patient?

They flick the guys balls to make him lose the erection. I saw it on the internets

It was quite common in hospitals for the porters ( pre-op ) to be called upon to shave the male patients down there so unintended erections were usually in the minority .

Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.
/wipes tear

they shave off a patch of hair and prod it with a stun gun!!!
Most of my female work colleagues have experienced it at some point. Nothing to get excited over really
Remember those stiffy's you'd get in school. Staring at a hot teachers arse all class. I bet she knew too. Ah the memories.
/wipes tear

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By glowing waterbed | 24 posts, last post 2 months ago

In reply to Biomajor10 on 2019-02-14 - click to read

In reply to glowing waterbed on 2019-02-15 - click to read

In reply to Biomajor10 on 2019-02-15 - click to read

In reply to glowing waterbed on 2019-02-15 - click to read

In reply to subscribed mark on 2019-02-17 - click to read

Hey Sunny just seeing if you got these last couple replies ... thanks

In reply to Biomajor10 on 2019-02-15 - click to read

Hey how’s it going did you get my last messages?

In reply to Biomajor10 on 2019-02-27 - click to read

I am a guy who would insist on females

No way would I let a male to put his hands on my body

In reply to Biomajor10 on 2019-02-14 - click to read

You don't make a big deal is a outright lie. You do not speak for others and we have several nurses disciplined for photographing or observing male genitallia.in violation of modesty standards. (Houston and New York).

I have had this happen to me and I guarantee you that it will not happen again. I will go to a female doctor again for anything and let her do whatever she feels is medically necessary. However, if she brings in a female chaperone I will object. If the doctor insists I will get up, get dressed and leave.
I am not bothered by a female just doing her job. I feel I know what she is thinking. She is thinking about doing her job. What is the chaperone sitting there looking up between my legs thinking about? I am not going to undergo getting an erection again under these circumstances. I find it very embarrassing and I will not tolerate it any more!
There is no reason for a female to use a chaperone with a male. Males are not passive aggressive. They do not bring false charges against female doctors. Men may misbehave because they are directly aggressive but they are not passive aggressive. If medical providers are worried about male misbehavior they obviously would be better off with a male chaperone.

In reply to Biomajor10 on 2019-02-14 - click to read

I’ve had a female doctor/ nurse practitioner for many years and am much more comfortable with a woman health care provider. It’s a little embarrassing but I just don’t feel comfortable with a man examining me. It seems creepy. As for getting an erection, that’s never happened.

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