Nurse Sperm Bank

Nurse Sperm Bank
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29-year old Jessica Jensen was arrested this morning by the Fairfax City Police Department after an investigation revealed she was implicated in an illegal sperm smuggling ring.
The young worked in the Sample Collection Department of the Fairfax Cryobank, the largest fertility clinic in Virginia.
She’s accused of using her position to steal semen samples which were then sold on the black market by an accomplice.
According to the Fairfax police chief, Captain Harold Pardini, Ms. Jensen is actually 4-months pregnant after one of the vials broke while hidden in her vaginal cavity.
According to Captain Pardini, the accused fell pregnant from those samples but kept smuggling sperm despite her pregnancy, until her accomplice was caught selling stolen semen to an undercover police officer.
According to the Fairfax County Police chief, Captain Harold Pardini, this was probably the most active “illegal sperm ring” in the history of the country. He estimates the total profit of their crimes to over $25 million.
Ms. Jensen now faces a total of 83 criminal charges and a maximum of 435 years in prison.
Her accomplice, 47-year old Michael Donovan is also facing 67 accusations in a separate trial and could end up in jail for a maximum of 315 years.
Both of them have decided to plead “not guilty”, and their trials are expected to begin in March.
Jessica Jensen also confirmed she had decided to go on with the pregnancy and is expected to give birth in June.
Hold on.
There’s a black market for sperm? Are you telling me I have been wiping away good money for all these years?
Your email address will not be published.

World News Daily Report @ Copyright 2013 | POWERED WITH A PRIVATE SERVER

World News Daily Report assumes all responsibility for the satirical nature of its articles and for the fictional nature of their content.
All characters appearing in the articles in this website – even those based on real people – are entirely fictional and any resemblance between them and any person, living, dead or undead, is purely a miracle.
More stories to check out before you go
29-year old Jessica Jensen was arrested this morning by the Fairfax City Police Department after an investigation revealed she was implicated in an illegal sperm smuggling ring.
The young worked in the Sample Collection Department of the Fairfax Cryobank, the largest fertility clinic in Virginia.
She’s accused of using her position to steal semen samples which were then sold on the black market by an accomplice.
According to the Fairfax police chief, Captain Harold Pardini, Ms. Jensen is actually 4-months pregnant after one of the vials broke while hidden in her vaginal cavity.
According to Captain Pardini, the accused fell pregnant from those samples but kept smuggling sperm despite her pregnancy, until her accomplice was caught selling stolen semen to an undercover police officer.
According to the Fairfax County Police chief, Captain Harold Pardini, this was probably the most active “illegal sperm ring” in the history of the country. He estimates the total profit of their crimes to over $25 million.
Ms. Jensen now faces a total of 83 criminal charges and a maximum of 435 years in prison.
Her accomplice, 47-year old Michael Donovan is also facing 67 accusations in a separate trial and could end up in jail for a maximum of 315 years.
Both of them have decided to plead “not guilty”, and their trials are expected to begin in March.
Jessica Jensen also confirmed she had decided to go on with the pregnancy and is expected to give birth in June.
Hold on.
There’s a black market for sperm? Are you telling me I have been wiping away good money for all these years?
Your email address will not be published.

World News Daily Report @ Copyright 2013 | POWERED WITH A PRIVATE SERVER

Sperm Bank Workers of Reddit: What is the most awkward/funniest experience you have ever had with a donor?
New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast
r/AskReddit is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions.
I worked for a fertility clinic, not a sperm bank, and regularly had to ask men for semen samples. The most awkward times were when the man spoke little or no English and didn't understand words like ejaculate, masturbate, and abstinence (they were supposed to have not ejaculated for a couples days prior). The last resort was hand gestures, but more than once we had guys come back and try to hand us cups of urine.
Oh, and the one guy who came back from the bathroom to inform us our Playboy magazine selection was inadequate and started to describe what sort of pornography he preferred. That was a fun one.
Offer free wifi. I'll bet dollars to dimes that every single guy shows up with a laptop.
LOL, I have a nurse friend who was working in the maternity ward. A chinese woman who spoke no english came in for tests. She gave her urine sample container and tried to explain what to do.
A few minutes later the woman came out and there was a tiny turd in the container. All the nurses died laughing. What was more amazing was the ability to accurately poop inside such a small container.
So, what type did he preferred? You can't just leave us hanging.
actually...do i really want to know?
What is the selection process for the pornography assortment in these clinics? This is something I have always wondered since I learned that they stock porn. Is it just the most popular stuff you can find, or is there some sort of service? Please tell me you made the interns buy it.
A thread for me! I've worked at a sperm bank now for two years and have had few awkward experiences with the donors. Usually it's the phone calls that are weird. We had a regular prank caller that would ask if we provides certain items in the rooms. Once he wanted to know I we had nurses to help. The last time he called he asked if we provided radios in the rooms. What the fuck kind of porn can you run on a radio?!
As far as weird donor experiences go it usually comes to guys trying out for the first time (we have an extensive screening process) being stupid. We explain to new guys what to do an where to place the specimen cup when done. About half of the time the guys try to hand them to any worker they see or have to ask again where to go.
I do make jokes to the guy I know better. I like to tell them to have fun while they are headed to the rooms.
1st actually sperm bank employee! Question why are the majority of workers in a sperm bank female? Seems to be true from all these stories I've read.
Do donor ever bring their partner to assist them with their work?
YAY! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY WORKED AT ONE!
(Pretty sure you're the first in the thread.)
Not a sperm bank worker but I work in IVF so we get to see some of the same things.
I've had a patient that cracked the specimen cup not once but twice in a row with the specimen in it. Mind you, those cups are not easy to break, they generally bend and go back to the original shape when squeezed.
I've also witnessed a patient who came out of the collection room with pants around his ankles to say that he missed the cup. That one got some screams from the females in the office.
You had a chance to use masturbatorium in a sentence and you used collection room? You need to go sit in the corner and think about what you're doing with your life.

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