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Key points
Porn may not be on most parents' list of things they need to discuss with their children, but it probably needs to be.
Erotic images are available anywhere there's internet and a device.
Some kids use adult entertainment as a source of information and education about sex.
By not addressing the existence of pornography, parents may be leaving kids open to otherwise preventable self-image and mental health issues.
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted October 14, 2022
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Reviewed by Devon Frye
Last week, I had an interview scheduled with essayist Rebecca Morrison. We planned to discuss body image for an article she’s writing, so I did what I do: I searched the web for her previous work. The following title, published in Salon , popped onto my screen: “Why I Started Watching Porn When I Turned 50.”
Huh? The subtitle read, “I suspected my teens knew more about porn than me. I didn't want to talk to them about it until I did some research.” OK, I was intrigued. While pornography had zero to do with our discussion topic, I couldn’t resist.
Rebecca wrote that she’d wanted to “satisfy her curiosity” and be knowledgeable for her teens. By the end, she’d reported learning, for example: why porn's so popular, the difference between "soft" porn vs. other ratings, how adult entertainment widely influenced personal hygiene styles, and how to find female-friendly sites with ethically-sourced porn (e.g., respectful and consenting, legally made, and celebrating sexual diversity). That all got me thinking.
I realized that my primary education in erotica happened in college in the 90s. Back then, to attain videos such as Mummy Dearest or Chatterbox (yup, her vagina spoke), we’d have to work for it. We’d physically get in a car and drive to a local video store. Then, there’d be that “back room” with the black curtain. We’d scan the store to make sure no one was looking and then we’d almost jump behind the fabric. With a racy video finally in hand, there’d be one more step to get the porn back to the dorm. We’d head to the checkout counter where (probably to make us goodie-goodies squirm) we’d hear, for example, “Your Edward Penishands is due back on Monday.” (Did he have to say the title so loudly?)
Notice all the effort that went into attaining erotica? None of that’s needed nowadays. Online, kids may accidentally type the wrong address or a well-intended search term that results in porn images. Kids can also get random adult entertainment popups. Pornography is available anywhere there's the internet and a device, such as at home, school, a classmate’s tablet, or a playground.
For adults, pornography use tends to be personal and often secret, and may be associated with feelings of shame. It makes sense that parents and guardians might prefer to avoid the topic with their kids. Yet, by not addressing porn, you may be leaving your kids open to otherwise preventable self-image and mental health issues—possibly even legal problems.
According to a study published in 2022, of the 385 undergraduates surveyed, “28.2 percent of males and 23.7 percent of females recalled their exposure [to porn] as occurring between 9 and 11 years" of age. A small number of participants were exposed even earlier.
Though COVID and lockdowns could have blown up the ability to trust existing studies and data, so far, research indicates that porn use by minors has remained fairly steady.
Various studies confirm that youngsters sometimes use pornography as a source of information and education about sex. A 2017 synthesis of articles, published by the Australian Institute of Family Studies, offered the following key messages:
While many parents hope and believe their kids won’t fall prey to influences based on violence or fantasy , that's not necessarily the case. For instance, a 2019 study suggested that exposure to violent porn may be one risk factor for teen dating violence (TDF). In the study, female adolescents who were exposed to violent porn were “over 1.5 times as likely to perpetrate physical and threatening TDV, whereas male adolescents who were exposed were over 3 times as likely to perpetrate sexual TDV.”
It may also be important to consider the various styles of sex that kids may be exposed to through porn, especially those that it's especially important to be thoughtful, safe, and mindfully consenting about (e.g., BDSM ).
Yes, the ongoing, built-in risk of kids witnessing adult sexualized stills and videos leaves a lot to discuss with innocent, young minds. When the time is appropriate, consider the following.
Please do what you need to ensure you can have the healthiest and most honest, helpful, protective, and shame-free conversation possible with your kid(s).
This blog is for informational purposes and does not provide therapy or professional advice.
Bernstein, S., Warburton, W., Bussey, K., & Sweller, N. (2022). Mind the gap: Internet pornography exposure, influence and problematic viewing amongst emerging adults. Sexuality, Research and Social Policy. https://doi.org/10.1007/s13178-022-00698-8
Bőthe, B., Vaillancourt-Morel, M. P., Dion, J., Paquette, M. M., Massé-Pfister, M., Tóth-Király, I., & Bergeron, S. (2022). A Longitudinal study of adolescents' pornography use frequency, motivations, and problematic use before and during the COVID-19 pandemic. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 51 (1), 139–156. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-021-02282-4
British Board of Film Classification. (n.d.) New research commissioned by the BBFC into the impact of pornography on children demonstrates significant support for age-verification. https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-us/news/children-see-pornography-as-young-…
Jochen, P. & Valkenburg, P. M., (2016). Adolescents and pornography: A review of 20 years of research. Journal of Sex Research, 53 (4-5), 509-531. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00224499.2016.1143441
Morrison, R. (2022, April 16). Why I started watching porn when I turned 50: I suspected my teens knew more about porn than me. I didn't want to talk to them about it until I did some research. Salon.com
Perry, D. L. (2016). The impact of pornography on children. American College of Pediatricians. https://acpeds.org/position-statements/the-impact-of-pornography-on-chi…
Quadara, A., El-Murr. A., & Latham, J. (2017). The effects of pornography on children and young people: An evidence scan. Melbourne, Australian Institute of Family Studies.
Rostad, W. L., Gittins-Stone, D., Huntington, C., Rizzo, C. J., Pearlman, D., & Orchowski, L. (2019). The association between exposure to violent pornography and teen dating violence in grade 10 high school students. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 48 (7), 2137–2147. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-019-1435-4
Alli Spotts-De Lazzer, MA, LMFT, LPCC, CEDS-S, is the author of MeaningFULL: 23 Life-Changing Stories of Conquering Dieting, Weight, and Body Image Issues.
Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today.
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
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White Tail Resort :: A Family Nudist Resort
39033 White Tail Dr, Ivor, VA 23866-2930
Guests 1 room , 2 adults , 0 children
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39033 White Tail Dr, Ivor, VA 23866-2930
Newport News-Williamsburg Airport 41 km See all flights
Norfolk Intl Airport 57 km See all flights
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Douglassville, Pennsylvania 735 contributions 395 helpful votes
We have been to nudist resorts from Florida to New York also in California and Arizona and the Caribbean. This WONDERFUL resort is the BEST OF THE BEST. The people are amazing friendly and so helpful, The grounds are immaculate the cleanest nudist resort we have ever stayed at. The pools both indoor and outdoor refreshing and spotless. The hot tub very clean and just the right temp. The sauna clean and ready to use. The hotel rooms were squeaky clean and very well equipped. We already made reservations for their Halloween party and are on the waitlist for the Beach bash in August. They are a five and a half hour drive and well worth the drive.
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It was a blast had a very good time.People are friendly make you feel right at home.Place is clean sites are clean and nice.It rained the site was wet but nothing to bad.I highly recommand this place.It was our first trip there but not our last.Made some new friends.We were very happy with this resort.
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Morehead City, North Carolina 40 contributions 43 helpful votes
Wanna let your hair down and relax, this is just the place to do that. What a great place for a long weekend of “glamping”. Who doesn’t enjoy a a great outdoor shower, here you can do that and many more activities that only require a towel, to sit on that is. We met (socially distanced due to the pandemic) people from all walks of life, from states as far as Connecticut. We all shared a common problem - no where to carry your smartphone, oh the tragedy! Instead we socialized in the pool, around the pool, over drinks, between meals. Thoroughly enjoyed doffing our duds, nourishing our bodies with vitamin D while floating in the saltwater pools. If you’re openminded and nonjudgmental, and willing to look beyond scars, wrinkles, and the facts of life this resort is a place to enjoy. The meals we had in the on-site restaurant and poolside snack bar were rather good. White Tail Resort serves up a truly relaxing getaway that only requires you pack a towel and a smile. …
This review is the subjective opinion of a Tripadvisor member and not of Tripadvisor LLC. Tripadvisor performs checks on reviews.
Well, my birthday is this month, and Billy and I decided we would like try a Very "New Experience" for us both as a fun celebration !...."Camping in the Nude". WTR had some amenities on their resort / campground site that looked to fit us well. Nice Shaded RV Campsites, (it was August, and we travel with our Rescue Siberian Husky, and it is Very Important she enjoys the trip too !). The Friendly office Staff picked a Great Shady Spot for us to put our Camper. Immediately, we were able to see how Clean and Well Groomed the property is kept. The Picnic Tables on the campsites were "new", the Grass is Nicely Cut (and swept up) on ALL the areas, the "Salt Water Treated Pool" is Crystal Clear, and is 25 Meters Long too ! (Billy Loves Lap Swimming, and the pool even has a Lane available to do that). The Walking Trails are VERY Shaded, and were Perfect for dog walking. Bath Houses, rest rooms by the pool, public shower areas were "Spotless". We also noticed the everyone was very respectful of the property too. We do not smoke, but we also noticed that there was Not a "single" cigarette butt on the ground "anywhere" to be found. Almost right away, we had folks "sincerely" saying hello as we walked our dog by or entered the pool area. This included residents, and other camper folks too actually. I should mention that this was still during "COVID" issues, and the resort was making sure to keep the Guests as safe as they possible and follow ALL the rulings that Virginia has in place at this time. The Office, and any indoor areas had mask rulings in place, and every member or guest was staying observant of this too. (and staying 6 feet + apart and such, when in all of the areas). We saw staff wiping down "common areas" like the pool chaises and entry gates, rest room area access, and alike. This was VERY important to us. This was our First Travel during 2020 Season, and we really were happy to see everyone paying attention to this unfortunate national issue. OK, now to talk about how it felt to be out in our "birthday suits", for the first time in front of folks!....It was a "few moments of nervousness" but then it became such a GREAT Feeling. Billy and I found it to be a wonderful bonding experience for us too ! He and I have done a LOT of different and New / Life experiences together in our 20 years of marriage. Snow Boarding from a Helicopter, Scuba Diving, Tuna Fishing 100 miles out to sea, but, we both had to admit that this really made us feel so good about each other in a wonderful way. It was Truly Rela
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