Nudist Boat
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Nudist Boat
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Published November 5, 2015 4:14pm EST
By
Mark Haskell Smith | news.com.au
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“We are safely away and you can now enjoy a ...”
There was a pause, as if the cruise director was having trouble choosing what, exactly, he should call what was about to happen. Finally he said, “ ... a carefree environment”.
Permission had been granted. Now buttocks could swing from side to side without restriction, and breasts — finally released from the prison of blouse and brassiere — burst into the open, to be caressed by soft tropical breezes.
We were on a boat. Nearly 2000 nudists living the “anti-textile” dream. Not that some of them weren’t almost nude before the cruise director gave the all clear.
A skeletal man in his 80s wandered around the ship wearing only a fluorescent thong, his loose skin draped around his bones in cascades that looked like freckled frosting, and a gigantic, barrel-chested man — he looked like he’d eaten an actual barrel — lumbered around the lido deck on an industrial-strength cane wearing only a loincloth.
I’m not a seagoing individual and had never cruised before. I grew up in Kansas, which, translated into Australian, is like growing up in Alice Springs; smack in the middle of the continent, as far away from the ocean as you can get. And even though I now live in Los Angeles, I don’t visit the ocean often.
So it was unusual in more ways than one when I found myself booked on a Holland America cruise ship destined to ply the waters of the Caribbean. A quick internet search of cruise ship disasters presented a catalogue of Somali pirates, septic system failures, norovirus outbreaks, and photos of the Costa Concordia laying on its side.
Why, I wondered, do people go on these things? What’s the appeal?
There are jazz cruises, country music cruises, floating financial seminars, Ink or Swim tattoo cruises, Star Trek -themed voyages and numerous religious excursions like the Book of Mormon Lands package. There is, essentially, a cruise for every lifestyle.
Because I was researching a book on nudism, I chose to go on what was called The Big Nude Boat . It was exactly as advertised: Nudists running amok on a luxury liner.
They were everywhere. On the decks, in the shops, playing ping pong, guzzling cocktails by the pool and grazing the all-you-can-eat buffets. It wasn’t unusual to get on an elevator and find yourself squeezing in with six or seven totally naked people.
All the usual activities you might find on a cruise ship, the cooking classes, the fitness centre, the casino, the movie theatre, the discos and dance halls and bars, were filled with naked people.
Even the dining room where dinner attire was required, had a few naked people who stubbornly refused to put on clothes. And, before you freak out, I should note that people sat on towels.
That topless woman playing black jack in the casino, the older man drinking a cappuccino in the espresso bar, that young couple sharing popcorn in the movie theatre, they’re sitting on towels. A nude cruise is a skidmark-free zone.
So what kind of people do a naked cruise?
On my first night, I was sitting at the Ocean Bar when I overheard a man, a silver-haired smoothie, complain loudly that there were too many old people on the cruise.
“I’m guessing the median age is 65,” he said. He was 62.
When old people complain that there are too many old people, then you really know there are too many old people.
Most of the passengers were retirees and most of them were American. Which is to say that there were a lot of overweight people strutting around in their birthday suits. They did so unselfconsciously, they weren’t ashamed of their bodies.
However, I also met a Harvard professor, a radiologist, a tool salesman, scientists, doctors, lawyers and people serving in the armed forces.
And of course not everyone was fat and saggy. There was a large LGBT contingent who were on the healthy end of the body mass index, and there were some actual bona fide young people, trim and tattooed men and women in their 20s who clung together as if the naked retirees were harbingers of some sort of terrifying apocalypse. It may explain while they consumed copious amounts of alcohol.
Mark Haskell Smith is the author of Naked at Lunch: Adventures of a Reluctant Nudist published by Nero.
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We might know a thing or two about bare vacationing. That’s because we’re the first to pioneer a one-of-a-kind, true bare cruise experience. One you won’t find in all of the seven seas. And to think it all started back in 1991 when 36 passengers went all aboard a clothing-optional dive boat.
We invite everyone to move forward with us. Let’s cross new and exotic borders and spread the joy of bare vacationing from sea to shore! Together we’ll break down the barriers against social nudity—one cruise celebration at a time!
Feel free to leave your clothes behind and come with an open mind. We’re here to provide a safe place. A place where you can be comfortable in your own skin and everyone around you can enjoy a judgment-free zone. whether you’re sunbathing on the deck or exploring ancient ruins. Discover if bare cruising is for you!
We’re here to help you get back to basics. Disconnect from your everyday, your technology, and yes, even from your clothes (if you so choose). Get back to your truest roots and experience the world just as mother nature intended.
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Experience the islands like you never have before! Spend the day on a nude boat charter in Kona on the Big Island of Hawaii with breathtaking views.
Experience the islands like you never have before! Spend the day on a nude boat charter in Kona on the Big Island of Hawaii with breathtaking views.
Swim Free Hawaii is a clothing-optional boat charter that gives you the opportunity to explore the island in an exciting, safe, and comfortable environment. Whether you're a visitor to the island looking for a unique activity or a local interested in a new experience of Hawaii, NUDE CHARTER is here to help you personalize your adventure.
A recent conversation with one of our clients…
I’ve experienced sexual harassment in the workplace. What seemed to begin as friendly banter escalating into cruel commentary on my body, weight, skin, and grooming habits, wearing down my moral in the workplace until I finally left my stable job with health insurance because being there made me miserable.
What was I wearing? Painters pants. Over sized white t shirt. A braid, no makeup. Nothing compelling; my clothes always had paint stains on them. They were work clothes in every sense of the world.
Then, on weekends I started to go out on the boat with Swimfree Hawaii, and at first I’d just wear my swimsuit. I didn’t mind the other swimmers, both men and women, topless or completely naked, but it wasn’t for me. Because I didn’t want to open myself up to comments or looks; I just wanted to go snorkeling with my friends, who had chosen Swimfree Hawaii.
Then I started to realize that even though I was wearing much less than I was at work, nobody was commenting on my body or what I did for it, how I cared for it, or what I was wearing. Nobody was looking at me in a lecherous way, nobody made me feel weird or uncomfortable, or asked me any questions that I didn’t want to answer. In short, here I was, on the ocean, feeling totally safe and comfortable, in a bikini.
And then, I realized I was comfortable to take off my bikini top. And feel the weight that is always making my back and shoulders sore, the pressure of straps and bands, totally released, to let my body relax in the salt water and float weightless, free, and natural. To experience that unself-consciousness of children. To be free to play and relax and let go of the tension of wondering about other people’s intentions.
It’s been a real gift, to learn how to be myself and let go of shame and self blame. Every time I come out on the Swimfree Hawaii clothing optional boat charter, layers of self-consciousness, the self loathing, and the shame of living in a female body, dissolve in the sun and salt water.
I take this confidence into my life during the week. I found the courage to leave my job, and find somewhere that appreciated me. The self confidence to be able to have fun with my friends and family without alcohol, to make friends without cigarettes. These things are gifts from the universe that I wouldn’t have expected to get just by taking off my swimsuit and getting in the water.
Thank you, Captain Chuck, and thank you to all of the friends I’ve made on these clothing optional boat charters. It’s been truly priceless
Katana (10/28/18) www.paintinhawaii.com
A recent conversation with one of our clients…
I’ve experienced sexual harassment in the workplace. What seemed to begin as friendly banter escalating into cruel commentary on my body, weight, skin, and grooming habits, wearing down my moral in the workplace until I finally left my stable job with health insurance because being there made me miserable.
What was I wearing? Painters pants. Over sized white t shirt. A braid, no makeup. Nothing compelling; my clothes always had paint stains on them. They were work clothes in every sense of the world.
Then, on weekends I started to go out on the boat with Swimfree Hawaii, and at first I’d just wear my swimsuit. I didn’t mind the other swimmers, both men and women, topless or completely naked, but it wasn’t for me. Because I didn’t want to open myself up to comments or looks; I just wanted to go snorkeling with my friends, who had chosen Swimfree Hawaii.
Then I started to realize that even though I was wearing much less than I was at work, nobody was commenting on my body or what I did for it, how I cared for it, or what I was wearing. Nobody was looking at me in a lecherous way, nobody made me feel weird or uncomfortable, or asked me any questions that I didn’t want to answer. In short, here I was, on the ocean, feeling totally safe and comfortable, in a bikini.
And then, I realized I was comfortable to take off my bikini top. And feel the weight that is always making my back and shoulders sore, the pressure of straps and bands, totally released, to let my body relax in the salt water and float weightless, free, and natural. To experience that unself-consciousness of children. To be free to play and relax and let go of the tension of wondering about other people’s intentions.
It’s been a real gift, to learn how to be myself and let go of shame and self blame. Every time I come out on the Swimfree Hawaii clothing optional boat charter, layers of self-consciousness, the self loathing, and the shame of living in a female body, dissolve in the sun and salt water.
I take this confidence into my life during the week. I found the courage to leave my job, and find somewhere that appreciated me. The self confidence to be able to have fun with my friends and family without alcohol, to make friends without cigarettes. These things are gifts from the universe that I wouldn’t have expected to get just by taking off my swimsuit and getting in the water.
Thank you, Captain Chuck, and thank you to all of the friends I’ve made on these clothing optional boat charters. It’s been truly priceless
Katana (10/28/18) www.paintinhawaii.com
Although nude beaches may not be a simple or viable option, there is a way to enjoy the beauty of Hawaii the way it was meant to be - with clothing optional. Swim Free Hawaii offers the freedom you desire on the open ocean through boat charters. We are licensed and insured & Capt. Chuck has over 30 years of experience to guide our journey through the breathtaking waters of the Big Island. Whether you’re interested in snorkeling, swimming or just sunbathing nude, we offer a unique, safe, and quality experience we guarantee to be unforgettable!
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