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Dear Ann Landers: I hope you can help me with an unusual problem. My teen-age daughter was recently invited to a nude slumber party. She assured me there would be no boys present.
I called the mother of the girl and talked to her about this party. While the mother admitted the idea was strange, she said she would be present during the party to supervise. She also said her husband and teen-age son would be away for the weekend, so there would be no males present in the house. She assured me that nude slumber parties are all the rage these days.
I have never heard of such a thing and cannot imagine why a bunch of 15- and 16-year-old girls would want to spend 12 hours together stark naked. Any ideasfi — Baffled Mom in Burlingame, Calif.
Dear Mom: I’m as baffled as you are. While walking around nude may be an interesting experiment, and sleeping nude has long been popular, I cannot imagine the appeal of doing either with a bunch of other girls in close quarters.
As long as you trust the mother of these girls to supervise for the duration of the party, I see no harm in it. Meanwhile, ask your daughter why she finds this such an attractive idea. You might learn something.
Dear Ann Landers: I read the letter from “Out of Gas in Grand Rapids, Mich.,” whose wife doesn’t drive. He said he had to take her everywhere. I have a different explanation for her behavior. I suspect this woman is an alcoholic.
The love of my life steadfastly refused to learn to drive. Too late, I discovered she was a secret drinker who consumed a great deal of alcohol by noon. She was afraid to get behind the wheel of a car. Refusing to drive also gave her an excuse to stay home, surrender to her depression and drink herself to death. Like “Out of Gas,” I avoided confrontations because I did not want to fight over something I foolishly considered trivial. Now, she is gone.
The woman who wrote to you doesn’t need a bus pass, she needs an intervention. For her sake, he MUST confront her. I did not confront my wife, and I grieve to this day. — Missed the Signs in Memphis, Tenn.
Dear Memphis: Thank you for providing an alternative explanation for the woman’s behavior. The man’s letter was less about his wife’s driving and more about her insistence on oversleeping and making him late for work. However, if there is indeed more going on, I hope he will discuss it with her and take the necessary steps.
Dear Ann Landers: You recently printed a letter from “Lost in Washington, D.C., But Still Hopeful.” She was in her 40s and despaired of ever finding Mr. Right. You heard from a great many readers and printed their responses. Most said she should stop looking and learn to enjoy her life as it is. I agree.
My husband left me after 20 years of marriage to “find himself.” When he walked out the door, I discovered how much I enjoyed life without him. I have two cockatoos who I have trained to say, “I love you!” as soon as I come through the door. Believe me, Ann, it sounds a lot better than, “You’re late! Where’s my dinnerfi” — Happier Now in Virginia
Dear Virginia: I’d say you “traded up.” Congratulations.
This story appeared in The Daily Herald on page C8.
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Read related topics: Isiah McKimmie
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More stories to check out before you go
After several years of marriage this woman tried to spice up her “stale and boring” sex life – only to have it backfire spectacularly.
Welcome to Relationship Rehab, news.com.au ’s weekly column solving all your romantic problems, no holds barred. This week, our resident sexologist Isiah McKimmie tackles a wife busted sending naked pictures to other men, a woman who has never orgasmed during sex and when to know a long-term relationship has run its course.
I’m married and got busted sending naked pics – how do I fix this?
Question: About six months ago I was going through a midlife crisis and did something stupid. I began to feel like my 20-year marriage was stale and boring and sex with my husband was predictable and he wasn’t paying attention to me. To spice up my life, I sent nude pictures of myself to two men I’d met online. Nothing more happened – I never even met the men – but when my husband saw the photos he was devastated. I made a stupid mistake and regret it dearly but it’s put a huge strain on our relationship. What can I do to make things better?
Answer: I hear that you really regret this and want to make it better. Unfortunately, what you did was still a huge betrayal of trust and this will take time for your relationship to recover from.
It’s totally understandable that your husband was devastated. When our partner betrays us, it has a huge impact. We can feel completely unstable, like we don’t really know our partner and wonder how they can really care about us. It can even trigger PTSD.
I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating: it’s possible for a relationship to recover from infidelity and other huge betrayals but it takes time, patience and commitment.
There isn’t one big thing that you can do to make a difference here. Even continued apologising (while necessary) will have its limits. What will really make a difference are continued, consistent actions.
You’ll need to make amends and rebuild trust between you. After that, it will be helpful to look at what was going on in your relationship that contributed to you looking for attention and affection elsewhere.
The early stages of recovery are about your husband and what he needs to feel that you’re sorry and that you’re taking action to rebuild trust.
If he doesn’t already, he’s going to need to feel heard, understood and have his emotions validated. The actions you need to take depend on him. What does he need to feel safe and secure in the relationship again? Does he need to have access to your phone? Does he need to hear from you when you’re out?
This can feel unbalanced for a while, because it is. Betrayal unbalances things, this is an opportunity to make amends.
You’ll need to re-establish the connection between you also.
I hear that there were a number of things going on in your relationship which contributed to this. This is often the case in infidelity. Disconnection creeps in over time, leaving you vulnerable to turning to others.
Be honest with yourselves about what wasn’t working. There are three key areas you’ll need to address: your connection, communication and sexual intimacy. Addressing these areas might look like making more time together, talking in ways you haven’t for a long time, increasing fun and playfulness between you.
Keep showing up. Continue to be understanding. Continue to show your partner that you’re committed to the relationship. Make efforts, in continued small ways that prove you’re invested in this.
Help! I never orgasm during penetrative sex
Question: I’m a woman and I’ve never had an orgasm during intercourse. Is there something wrong with me?
Answer: There’s nothing wrong with you.
An estimated 10 per cent of sexually active women have never had an orgasm. A further 30 per cent struggle to experience orgasm regularly.
Most women can learn to orgasm with the right information and practical suggestions (a very small percentage of women are unable to orgasm due to medications or medical conditions).
The most common reasons women don’t reach orgasm are inadequate foreplay and clitoral stimulation. Make sure you spend at least 20 minutes in foreplay before moving to penetration intercourse and try including direct clitoral stimulation (with your hands or a toy) during sex.
You can learn more about women’s orgasm in my ebook, Epic Os . If you’re still struggling, consider speaking to a sexologist or sex therapist – we have a 90 per cent success rate helping women with this.
How do you know a relationship is over?
Question: What are the signs a relationship is over? I’ve been with my husband for nine years and I’m worried it’s curtains for us.
Answer: Every relationship experiences ups and downs, the difficulty is knowing when to get off the ride.
There are strong predictors that a relationship will end if it doesn’t get support. These include feeling lonely, consistent ‘mean’ arguments, giving up arguing (because you don’t even think it’s worth it) and a lack of friendship and respect.
There are clear, proven tools that I can offer as a couples therapist to change this. It’s not guaranteed to fix every relationship, but, if you still feel that your relationship may be over after some time in therapy, you’ll know that you did everything possible before moving on.
Isiah McKimmie is a Couples Therapist, Sex Therapist and Sexologist. For more expert advice follow her on Instagram . If you have a question for Isiah, email relationship.rehab@news.com.au
A new book has accused Meghan Markle of “casting a spell” over Prince Harry while still living with her chef ex-boyfriend, adding to a volley of critique against the couple.
A bride is no longer speaking to the graphic designer friend she tasked with designing her wedding invitations, claiming a “child” could have done better.
A woman stumbled across her engagement ring before her fiance had proposed and she was less than impressed with his choice.

Read related topics: Isiah McKimmie
A NOTE ABOUT RELEVANT ADVERTISING: We collect information about the content (including ads) you use across this site and use it to make both advertising and content more relevant to you on our network and other sites. Find out more about our policy and your choices, including how to opt-out. Sometimes our articles will try to help you find the right product at the right price. We may receive revenue from affiliate and advertising partnerships for publishing this content or when you make a purchase.
Nationwide News Pty Ltd © 2022. All times AEST (GMT +10). Powered by WordPress.com VIP
More stories to check out before you go
After several years of marriage this woman tried to spice up her “stale and boring” sex life – only to have it backfire spectacularly.
Welcome to Relationship Rehab, news.com.au ’s weekly column solving all your romantic problems, no holds barred. This week, our resident sexologist Isiah McKimmie tackles a wife busted sending naked pictures to other men, a woman who has never orgasmed during sex and when to know a long-term relationship has run its course.
I’m married and got busted sending naked pics – how do I fix this?
Question: About six months ago I was going through a midlife crisis and did something stupid. I began to feel like my 20-year marriage was stale and boring and sex with my husband was predictable and he wasn’t paying attention to me. To spice up my life, I sent nude pictures of myself to two men I’d met online. Nothing more happened – I never even met the men – but when my husband saw the photos he was devastated. I made a stupid mistake and regret it dearly but it’s put a huge strain on our relationship. What can I do to make things better?
Answer: I hear that you really regret this and want to make it better. Unfortunately, what you did was still a huge betrayal of trust and this will take time for your relationship to recover from.
It’s totally understandable that your husband was devastated. When our partner betrays us, it has a huge impact. We can feel completely unstable, like we don’t really know our partner and wonder how they can really care about us. It can even trigger PTSD.
I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating: it’s possible for a relationship to recover from infidelity and other huge betrayals but it takes time, patience and commitment.
There isn’t one big thing that you can do to make a difference here. Even continued apologising (while necessary) will have its limits. What will really make a difference are continued, consistent actions.
You’ll need to make amends and rebuild trust between you. After that, it will be helpful to look at what was going on in your relationship that contributed to you looking for attention and affection elsewhere.
The early stages of recovery are about your husband and what he needs to feel that you’re sorry and that you’re taking action to rebuild trust.
If he doesn’t already, he’s going to need to feel heard, understood and have his emotions validated. The actions you need to take depend on him. What does he need to feel safe and secure in the relationship again? Does he need to have access to your phone? Does he need to hear from you when you’re out?
This can feel unbalanced for a while, because it is. Betrayal unbalances things, this is an opportunity to make amends.
You’ll need to re-establish the connection between you also.
I hear that there were a number of things going on in your relationship which contributed to this. This is often the case in infidelity. Disconnection creeps in over time, leaving you vulnerable to turning to others.
Be honest with yourselves about what wasn’t working. There are three key areas you’ll need to address: your connection, communication and sexual intimacy. Addressing these areas might look like making more time together, talking in ways you haven’t for a long time, increasing fun and playfulness between you.
Keep showing up. Continue to be understanding. Continue to show your partner that you’re committed to the relationship. Make efforts, in continued small ways that prove you’re invested in this.
Help! I never orgasm during penetrative sex
Question: I’m a woman and I’ve never had an orgasm during intercourse. Is there something wrong with me?
Answer: There’s nothing wrong with you.
An estimated 10 per cent of sexually active women have never had an orgasm. A further 30 per cent struggle to experience orgasm regularly.
Most women can learn to orgasm with the right information and practical suggestions (a very small percentage of women are unable to orgasm due to medications or medical conditions).
The most common reasons women don’t reach orgasm are inadequate foreplay and clitoral stimulation. Make sure you spend at least 20 minutes in foreplay before moving to penetration intercourse and try including direct clitoral stimulation (with your hands or a toy) during sex.
You can learn more about women’s orgasm in my ebook, Epic Os . If you’re still struggling, consider speaking to a sexologist or sex therapist – we have a 90 per cent success rate helping women with this.
How do you know a relationship is over?
Question: What are the signs a relationship is over? I’ve been with my husband for nine years and I’m worried it’s curtains for us.
Answer: Every relationship experiences ups and downs, the difficulty is knowing when to get off the ride.
There are strong predictors that a relationship will end if it doesn’t get support. These include feeling lonely, consistent ‘mean’ arguments, giving up arguing (because you don’t even think it’s worth it) and a lack of friendship and respect.
There are clear, proven tools that I can offer as a couples therapist to change this. It’s not guaranteed to fix every relationship, but, if you still feel that your relationship may be over after some time in therapy, you’ll know that you did everything possible before moving on.
Isiah McKimmie is a Couples Therapist, Sex Therapist and Sexologist. For more expert advice follow her on Instagram . If you have a question for Isiah, email relationship.rehab@news.com.au
A new book has accused Meghan Markle of “casting a spell” over Prince Harry while still living with her chef ex-boyfriend, adding to a volley of critique against the couple.
A bride is no longer speaking to the graphic designer friend she tasked with designing her wedding invitations, claiming a “child” could have done better.
A woman stumbled across her engagement ring before her fiance had proposed and she was less than impressed with his choice.

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