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Blogger Jill Smokler wondered how honest women would be if she created a judgment-free confessional online. She had no idea.
Now picture yourself at book club. In the middle of small talk, you say, "I wish I could be happy for my best friend's amazing children, happy marriage, and perfect life, but I'm seething with jealousy."
Pretty far-fetched scenarios, right? Yet the quotes above are real: They all came from an anonymous "confessional" on my website, Scary Mommy. I started the section because I got tired of the shiny-happy parenting reports filling up my Facebook feed. I knew I wasn't the only mom who wanted to slam the door in my kid's face every once in a while, or temporarily favored one child over the other. I wasn't proud of those moments, and thinking I was alone in having them made me feel even more helpless.
So I built a virtual confessional for people like me, and made it a safe place by barring judgment of any kind. Women post their feelings in the raw, and readers have three reaction options: They can click "Like," "OMG, Me Too!" or "Hug." There's no "Dislike" or "Eye Roll" button. I left no room for superiority or snark — we all face enough of that in the real world.
The response was phenomenal. Anonymously, mothers were willing to get down and dirty about what parenting really looks like. Sometimes, we yell too loudly and make poor choices. And finally, we're being honest about it. Halle-freaking-lujah!
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The need to vent is universal, and so is the craving for understanding. I get emails from people who type and delete the same confession a dozen times before having the courage to submit. When they finally do, their words are met with 20, 30, or 200 OMG Me Too's. One woman wrote, "If it wasn't for the confessional, I'd be convinced I'm the only mother who'd ever felt like a failure. I no longer do." And then there are the confessions that deal with depression or illness or a deeply troubled child. People might not necessarily relate, but they want to offer their support. If, for whatever reason, those moms aren't getting the real-life hugs they need, a virtual one can do wonders.
Confessing online feels so good — imagine how liberating it would be to speak the same words over a beer with girlfriends? It might be like therapy: You unload your darkest, most embarrassing thoughts, and then you're able to move on (only it's free)! We encourage our kids to talk about their emotions, but as parents, we do the opposite. It's too bad; when close friends lend you perspective, you almost instantly become a better mother.
Of course, getting comfortable with that kind of honesty hinges on having friends that act as a cheering squad, not hecklers. Motherhood binds us: We are all on this crazy ride together, loving our kids the absolute best ways we can, trying to survive another day. So why the condemnation? Why does identifying someone as a poor mother make us feel better about ourselves? There is no trophy for best parenting, and nothing to be gained from pitting ourselves against one another. After all, we play for the same team: our kids.
Jill Smokler blogs about motherhood at scarymommy.com. Her first book, Confessions of a Scary Mommy, comes out in April.
For every mother who is doing the best she can (and yes, that's all of us), we're starting a movement to banish mom-on-mom criticism and start supporting each other. We're declaring November 30 "No-Judgment Day." Go to redbookmag.com/motherboard, where we've just launched our new Motherboard Blog Council, featuring great new mommy bloggers nationwide. They'll be confessing the secrets they don't want to be judged for — so join in! Tweet @redbookmag with your own #dontjudgemebecause mom moment, or share it on our Facebook page. Plus, add our "No Judgment" badge to your profile. Feels good, right?
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