Nude Maid Los Angeles
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Nude Maid Los Angeles
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If you're looking for the full monty, here are the best places to find it
Some purists staunchly insist that a place can’t be called a true strip club unless the girls tease down to the buff and bare all. Personally, we don’t have a horse in that race, but regardless, nude strip clubs in LA definitely have a different vibe than other local bars offering similar services. For one, California state law prohibits full nudity and the sale of alcohol at the same venue. So the girls—and their private dances—are the main focus for visitors (we don’t see many people paying a $20 cover just to drink Red Bull). Since they don’t serve alcohol, nude clubs can stay open later—most don’t close until 4 or 6 in the morning. They also don’t really start to pick up until around 2am, after the bars hit last call. Full nude clubs have a tendency to be a little bigger and offer a larger variety of dance options, ranging from $20 lap dances to private VIP rooms, bed dances and many more ways to blow through hundreds of dollars while spending time with a sexy lady or three.
Too hot and bothered? Turn things down a notch with topless bars —or negate nudity altogether and check out bikini bars instead.
Follow Jakob and Kate on Instagram @meetjakob and @kate_em_up
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Deja Vu is a strip club in the truest sense of the phrase. It’s massive, full of ladies hustling for private dances, and open till 6am. A busy night (usually a Friday or Saturday after 1am) has the mesmerizing enchantment of a swiftly-moving assembly line. Dancers rotate between three stages and then head to the floor to wrangle a lap. At regular intervals, an announcement calls all dancers back to the stage for a $1 song special, then it’s back to the floor to collect those singles, which gives the gorgeous waitresses (dressed as sexy maids) a chance to clean the poles seductively—just in time for the next dancer to hit the main stage. Wash, rinse, repeat, and before you know it it’s closing time. One weird dance special of note: The $10 “balloon dance,” in which one of the waitresses (who are typically the most attractive workers at the club) places a balloon on your lap and bounces and grinds on top of it until it pops. It sounds fun, but as is so often the case in life—and strip clubs—reality never quite meets expectations. The reality of a balloon dance is that anyone, sexy maid or not, bouncing on your lap with all her weight not only doesn’t feel sexy, but also fills the air with latex odors and the awkward, intolerable squeak of a balloon rubbed raw. We recommend passing on the balloon dance and going for the higher mileage, more traditional $20 private dance.
While definitely not the fanciest or busiest of L.A.’s nude strip clubs, La Vida still maintains its charm and appeal with an assortment of friendly dancers. The stage doesn’t get a lot of action from tippers, but the girls—diverse in both ethnicity and body type—will seek out customers and strike up flirty conversations to loosen things up. There’s never any overt pressure to buy dances or drinks, which keeps the atmosphere relaxed and amicable. If you do opt for a private dance, the prices are pretty standard ($20–$60 for one to four songs) though $100 will get you a ten-minute VIP session, which means a little more privacy and attention from your dancer. The more you’re willing to spend, the more mileage you’re likely to get. Songs at strip clubs tend be on the short side—around one to three minutes—so we say either go all out for the VIP or wait for the occasional three-for-$40 special. An alarm goes off and all the dancers parade across the stage—it’s impossible to miss.
Xposed is a haven for high-mileage lap dances and the kind of guys that service attracts. The stage shows aren’t particularly spectacular, especially when compared to places like 4Play or Cheetahs , but that tends to be the norm for full-nude strip clubs in L.A., where the main selling point is the lap dance. When asked how much a private session is, one dancer responded with, “$20 for topless, $40 for full nude, $80 and I’ll jerk you off.” So, you know, there’s that. That being said, what makes this club one of the best in L.A.? The simple fact Xposed offers patrons the opportunity to get very close with a seductive woman in the comfort of a relaxed (massage chairs, anyone?) and polished environment (read: not seedy). There’s also the easy access to alcohol at Xposed’s sister bar, Wet Spot, which is a cover-free bikini joint open till 2am (be sure to get your hand stamped after paying the $20 entrance fee so you can easily walk back and forth between the two bars). One more thing worth mentioning is the Thursday night special, which features no cover for couples and free, unlimited lap dances for your date. The deal is LGBTQ-friendly and applies to both male and female couples—the lovers will just have to decide who is the designated lap dance recipient for the night. A note of warning to all those clever bros out there: The club will require you to kiss if you claim to be a gay couple, and we have a feeling they’ll be looking for something a little more intimate than a peck.
Let’s cut to the chase: 4Play is the most exceptional and, almost assuredly, best strip club in Los Angeles. The dancers are stunningly gorgeous and the sumptuous interior evokes a New Orleans madame’s bewitching bordello. The ladies here are neither your girl-next-door type nor twerkers; they have modelesque physiques and the best way to describe them is simply: hot. Unlike at most clubs, however, the dancers are a little less likely to approach you for a private dance here, especially if you’re with a group of people. They tend to line up near the bar and either wait for you to come to them or to see how much money you’re throwing around. Honestly though, it’s so easy to be mesmerized by the girls on stage that you may be perfectly content to sit, watch and keep the dollar bills flowing. And it should be noted, all this luxury and beauty doesn’t come for free—or even close to cheap. Private dances start at $25, and that’s in addition to the $20 cover and $7 drink minimum. Despite a few more downsides, like pushy waitresses and girls with a scent for trust funds and big spenders, 4Play still offers the classiest strip club environment—and the best-looking dancers—in all of L.A.
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It’s Called the Music and Arts Festival for a Reason
Dylan Efron Takes Us On An Adventure
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Author, model, burlesque dancer, and love, sex and relationship coach Sienna Sinclaire recently released her book Naughty Girl's Guide to Los Angeles , a guide to the less-innocent activities the city offers. The author shares her top picks for the city.
If you're visiting L.A. for the first time or even if you live in the city now, I'm pretty sure that you may not know how much naughty, sexy fun can be had just around the corner! As the author of the Naughty Girl's Guide to Los Angeles, I've perused my book and compiled a list of the Naughtiest Things to Do in the city of angels. So put on your sexiest outfit and get out there and explore a few of these things for yourself.
Check out the website and make a reservation for the only adult industry tour in the nation. You'll be able to ride a private chartered bus through an intimate history and behind the scenes peek into the world of adult entertainment with real, live, gorgeous adult stars as your tour guides. At the end of your trip, you'll be able to watch and even direct your hostesses as they create a real adult film before your very eyes. www.laporntours.com
A visit to West Hollywood is just not complete without a trip into the Hustler Store. This huge monument to everything naughty, built by the legendary Larry Flynt, is well stocked with everything the adventuresome girl or guy could want. Along with a massive selection of adult toys, costumes, movies and books, it also has a more tame selection of souvenir style clothing and trinkets. This is a great place to come and browse, get in the mood and pick up a few necessary items for a night of sexy fun. 8920 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hlywd. www.hustlerstore.com
Ophelia, left, gets to work.; Credit: Glen McCurtayne
Only in L.A. would you find such an exceptionally seductive cleaning service. Take your pick of one of their hot and sexy naughty maids and have them come to clean your home completely topless and watch them as they provocatively bend and stretch to get all those hard to reach places. They also do more than just clean and are available for private dancing and strip teases, so you and your lover could easily invite them over to your home or hotel room for an evening of kinky fun. www.alittlebitdirty.com
Be sure to stop by Melrose Avenue and take in all of the fantastic shops and storefronts, including great, classic stores like Agent Provocateur (7961 Melrose Ave.) or Kiki de Montparnasse (8481 Melrose Pl., www.kikidm.com ). Both of these stores offer high end, unique lines of lingerie, knickers and other
sexy nightwear. Also, nearby you can find Trashy Lingerie (402 N La Cienega Blvd., www.trashy.com ) and the Beverly Center is right across the street if you need to fulfill any other sexy, shopping needs for a night out on the town.
The Pleasure Chest offers sex education classes along with sex merchandise.; Credit: Voice Places
Another great way to spend some time getting in touch with your erotic side is to take a sex education workshop. The Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood (7733 Santa Monica Blvd., www.pleasurechest.com ) offers workshops taught by sex professionals regularly. Just be sure to check in with their website for scheduling.
If you're looking to really explore new territory or if you're already familiar with this kind of lifestyle, then there are great events to be found right here in town. Visit www.masspleasures.com or www.confidentialliaisons.com for more information about what type of event is happening and where. Both of these websites can help you find the hottest, most discreet and confidential private parties, usually located in a luxurious home or mansion in Beverly Hills. This is a fabulous way to explore your wildest, naughtiest desires in a safe and respectful atmosphere among the international sexual elite.
Your trip won't be complete without having a few, great naughty souvenirs to show for your time in L.A. and a trip to Sexx University (7311 Melrose Ave. www.sexxuniversity.com ) may be just what you're looking for. This great store offers a unique mix of photography and fashion where you can show off your school spirit by getting your diploma and master's degree. Check out their line of one of a kind clothing designs, with ultra-sexy tank tops, pants and more.
Learn more about the author here . For more arts news follow us at @LAWeeklyArts and like us on Facebook .
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It’s Called the Music and Arts Festival for a Reason
Dylan Efron Takes Us On An Adventure
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A “topless maid” service has been under fire for advertising its business on hot pink vans in Los Angeles and Burbank.
But with headlines galore and even a bit on The Ellen DeGeneres Show with Matthew Perry this week, the operators appear to be laughing all the way to the bank.
A rep for the service, called Hot Topless Maids , told the Weekly the roving ads were perfectly legal:
The signs comply with California law, which basically states, “You can affix anything to the vehicle if it's permanently attached and not larger than the vehicle,” Sami Ammari told us.
Records indicate he's suing the City of L.A. in federal court for alleged civil rights violations. He says the city's signage ordinance conflicts with state rules. He also contends that City Councilman Paul Krekorian sent a code-violation “task force” after his mobile signs.
(His apparent battle with Krekorian reportedly has resulted in permanent signs at an office in the San Fernando Valley clowning the councilman as “the monkey” ).
But reports that the city's signage laws — one says you can't have a sitting trailer with a sign, and a newer one says said trailer can't be hitched to anything — have forced Hot Topless Maids into adjacent cities such as Burbank are false, Ammari says:
I'm still legal in L.A. They made a ban on trailers, not on vans. Burbank had something similar on those trailers before L.A. That gave me the right to go into Burbank because the ads are laminated on vans. I also went into West Hollywood, Torrance. I am very creative.
Ammari says any city that tries to outlaw the vans will be met with a lawsuit.
But … he tells us that he doesn't actually own Hot Topless Maids, as reported elsewhere. He says the owner is a 24-year-old cousin whom he's been helping out with advertising.
Ammari says he is part of a corporate partnership that runs a fleet of 64 vehicles that advertise everything from teeth whitening to regular maid service to massages.
So anyway, the topless maid biz is booming. A rep told Ellen DeGeneres that the firm has 30 maids at the ready, including “topless” men for the ladies.
Ellen said the way it works is that one maid is topless and another cleans. The cost? $99 an hour “plus fuel fee,” according to the Hot Topless Maids website.
We called its number, 818-666-HUGE. A message said they were booked up for two weeks.
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Schedule on the fly. Anywhere. Anytime.
Sexy lingerie
Confidential
Special Requests
Actual Cleaning
Completely topless
Confidential
Special Requests
Actual Cleaning
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Confidential
Special Requests
Actual Cleaning
“Ordered as a joke, now a repeat customer.”
It was a great experience for me. Being honest I got the service partly due to curiosity partly as a joke. My first maid was amazing and friendly. I ordered a few times since and have not been disappointed.
Ordered maid for husband. He loved it thank you!!!!!!
"Sarina was a delight. Not only does she enjoy and quite literally throw herself into the task of cleaning but she is a very bright young lady and probably the friendliest and most conversational naked person I have ever set eyes upon. We had a lovely time talking throughout She is great company and I look forward to seeing her again. Thank you Sarina, you made my day...nay my week!"
"Me and my boyfriend loved the maid we picked. She was hot and did a great job. Will order again."
"Yesterday was great! Nia did a great job. I would definitely like to see her again in the future."
"I just wanted to say thank you for the service today. Alexis was a lovely young woman, did a great job cleaning, and was a very pleasant conversationalist as well. I definitely expect to be back in the future."
"I didn't think this was legit but it is. Thanks"
"Came on short notice and did a great job for a reasonable price."
Your dream. Your way. Are you looking for adult cleaning services in your area? Want to surprise your husband with a sexy topless maid for his birthday? Is your house a mess and you could use a nice tidying up? Welcome to Dream Maids ! Your premiere company for upscale topless maids in select areas in
We have women ranging from petite to ssbbw. Everyone's idea of a dream is different, and we try our best to fulfill yours!
We require all Dream Maids to have thorough background checks and interviews before they are trusted in our client’s homes.
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