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You are entering a forum that contains discussions of abuse, some of which are explicit in nature. The topics discussed may be triggering to some people. Please be aware of this before entering this forum. If you are posting about actions of yours which you feel are/were abusive please post about this in The Remorse Forum . If you have been falsely accused of abusing someone please post in the For Those Falsely Accused of Abusing thread . Please also note that discussions about Incest in this forum are only in relation to abuse. Discussions about Incest in a non-abusive context are not allowed at PsychForums. Thank you for your cooperation. The Mod Team
I was 5. I used to go on "walks" with this family friend. he was very nice and told me we had to play a secret game, that it was normal and everybody does it. so he touched me, performed oral sex on me. I remember liking it and being happy afterwards. it's my fault I should've known it was wrong. I should've said something. instead I did it to others my age, I stayed with these thoughts for so long wanting to do it again at 8 years old. I knew things I shouldn't it would always impress my friends. Now as a teenager I look back and I never want to think about sex again. I want to suppress all my dirty fantasies that he gave me. he stole my childhood he made me a perverted young girl. I want purity and innocence. I want to start over. I also want to kill him. I want to make him pay for my social anxiety, for my borderline personality disorder, for everything that's wrong with me. my grades were always so low, I started drinking and using early. he messed me up. I messed myself up by liking it. I never told anyone about our secret game. but I want to tell now. why did I like it ? why did I do it to my classmates ? why am I like this ?
Last edited by Snaga on Sun Oct 11, 2015 9:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Trigger earning added
You liked it because its a natural response. Your body responded, your child-mind liked the attention and time he spent with you. I was groomed by my step-father and molested at five also. He made me feel special. Twenty four years later, after therapy, I'm finally healed. I still have work to do. I still cry in pain for all the years that was stolen from me. First of all things you use to make you forget or take the pain away needs to be only positive coping skills. I understand its hard, I smoked weed for so many years. I just wanted to forget. I realized its better to face the demons and beat them once and for all. Its very hard but its not your fault. Children don't understand right and wrong when there is an adult they trust involved. He lied to you, he groomed you, he made you feel special to use you. I swear its not your fault. But I was scared to share my story also. When you are ready, share it. Even online like this is a big step. People don't judge like you think. My abuse lasted fourteen years... I thought for sure I would be judged by not stopping it. But I was scared, he went from saying all daddys do it to I will kill your family, to get me to keep the secret. I hope this helps you.
Glad your here! Keep telling your story here; We have a blog section! I use it all the time, slowly getting my story out! I would recommend a therapist! Any girl groups dealing with psych stuff in the area you can join! !2 step groups dealing with emotion stuff; that kind of thing! Something to look into! Your not alone! Great job telling your story! Give the blog section a try! -- Mon Oct 12, 2015 5:13 pm -- Glad your here! Keep telling your story here; We have a blog section! I use it all the time, slowly getting my story out! I would recommend a therapist! Any girl groups dealing with psych stuff in the area you can join! !2 step groups dealing with emotion stuff; that kind of thing! Something to look into! Your not alone! Great job telling your story! Give the blog section a try!
Dissociative Disorder CPTSD AVPD; Social avoidance Previous/Psychotic clinical Depression agoraphobia obsessive/compulsive disorder Evolution didn't stop my death, God did .....Now what?
Yes, most of go through the stages of therapy not knowing, knowing, realizing, liking it, education. It is normal, God made this thing called sex for pleasure it is sacred for adults consensually. I know it is a process for people like us to realize that . I would say stay the course in therapy in gets better you will heal enough that you will have power of what you stated (your feelings) in this post. Your not alone!
Dx: DID, PTSD, Panic Disorder We are system of several.....Blog of system map
Lila15 wrote: I was 5. I used to go on "walks" with this family friend. he was very nice and told me we had to play a secret game, that it was normal and everybody does it. so he touched me, performed oral sex on me. I remember liking it and being happy afterwards. it's my fault I should've known it was wrong. I should've said something. instead I did it to others my age, I stayed with these thoughts for so long wanting to do it again at 8 years old. I knew things I shouldn't it would always impress my friends. Now as a teenager I look back and I never want to think about sex again. I want to suppress all my dirty fantasies that he gave me. he stole my childhood he made me a perverted young girl. I want purity and innocence. I want to start over. I also want to kill him. I want to make him pay for my social anxiety, for my borderline personality disorder, for everything that's wrong with me. my grades were always so low, I started drinking and using early. he messed me up. I messed myself up by liking it. I never told anyone about our secret game. but I want to tell now. why did I like it ? why did I do it to my classmates ? why am I like this ?
i was abused as a kid. i enjoyed it, to the extent that i'd look forward to it n wanted to get touched by my cousin/brother. i grew up watching abusive porn n thoughts to abuse. i think the feeling of pleasure is normal.
You were 5 and were made to feel special. Don't feel guilty. In a way I wish you would post your story on the Paraphilia thread under Sexual where some pro-contact pedophiles say kids enjoy sex, and it's all society's fault they feel guilty about it later. I don't think the pro-contacts ever come to the Abuse forum or ever read any of our stories.
You're not alone. I went through a similar experience. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever feel clean but I hold on to the thought that one day I will find a partner who is so loving and caring that my anxieties about sex will ease. Well wishes on your journey to recovery <3
You should talk about it. Post here, more importantly - talk to a good therapist. You liked it, because - as others said - it's a natural response. Often survivors feel guilty and confused because of that. (On top of that, there is also trauma bonding and stockholm syndrom which makes the relationship with the abuser and your feelings even more messed up). That you did it to others is also typical. Survivors of sexual abuse often become too sexual themselves. What happened to you is really horrible, I've been there too. Please, find a therapist. I've been through a therapy and it really helped me (although it took years of a hard work).
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The confused child wrote disturbing journal entries detailing the escalating relationship between Steven Pladl and his long-lost biological daughter Katie after the pair reconnected via social media
THE confused diary entries of an 11-year-old girl helped expose the incestuous relationship between her father and her long-lost sister in a scandal that has shocked America.
Steven Pladl of Wake County, North Carolina left his wife to start a relationship with Katie Fusco, going as far as fathering a child with her.
The sordid affair between father and daughter began after Katie decided to track down her biological parents after they gave her up for adoption in 1998.
Katie, who had turned 18, reconnected with her biological parents via social media and went to live with them and their two other children near Richmond, Virginia in August 2016.
Just three months later, Steven and his unsuspecting wife Alyssa separated, and she moved out of the family home taking her two young children with her.
In May 2017, Alyssa received a call from her estranged husband saying their 11-year-old daughter had started to misbehave during visits to see him after he and Katie moved 150 miles away.
He handed his wife the girl’s diary and it was then that the sickening truth emerged .
According to the Daily Mail , the confused and disgusted child had written: “Katie is pregnant. Dad says they feel like couples. Did they get a little too drunk that night? My dad is a slut.
"He'll go to hell but he won't be the one getting tortured, he'll be the one torturing people."
The girl added: "Wait one second if he's Satan and Katie is a human then the baby will be half demon."
The diary also included drawings of her pregnant sister and dad, depicting them both as devils.
Alyssa now feels that he allowed her to read their daughter’s diary as he was too much of a coward to openly tell her the truth.
As expected, the disgusting details in her daughter’s diary left the 37-year-old horrified.
She said: "I lost it. I started screaming. I felt like I was going to throw up.”
After confronting her husband, Alyssa discovered the pair planned to marry and that Steven had instructed his other children to call Katie their “step-mum”.
She told cops her husband would sleep on the floor of Katie’s room in the months before she moved out.
The authorities were alerted and arrest warrants were issued for the pair.
They were tracked down last month and charged with incest with adult, adultery, contributing to delinquency.
A baby boy, understood to be a four-month-old fathered by Steven, was found at their home.
Steven and Katie were held at the Wake County Detention Center pending extradition to Virginia.
Court records show Steven was released on a $1 million bond while Katie, issued with the same bond, remains in jail.
Alyssa lays the blame solely on her 42-year-old ex-husband, insisting he brainwashed and seduced Katie after she moved into their marital home in Henrico.
She said: “There are no words to describe the sense of betrayal and disgust I'm feeling.
“I waited 18 long years to have a relationship with
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