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by Reegan von Wildenradt Published: Dec 15, 2017
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Jessa O'Brien's popular Instagram and blog is focused on body-positivity—but that hasn't stopped her from being body-shamed
Body-shaming is making someone feel bad about their body, and it comes in a lot of different forms. Case-in-point, 28-year-old Jessa O'Brien's recent post on her popular blog, "The Nude Blogger," that's about the body-shaming she has endured as a thin person .
O'Brien's popular Instagram, which has over 69,000 followers, is filled with images of O'Brien posing nude, the accompanying captions almost all focused on body positivity and accepting that bodies come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. However, she said in her blog post, that has not stopped endless comments from followers about her body, which has resulted in giving her what she calls a "skinny girl complex." (Even Lady Gaga and Olympian Aly Raisman have faced bouts of body-shaming—not cool.)
"'Of course she's comfortable naked, she's skinny.' 'Wait until she has five kids and she won't be saying any of this.' These are just some of the examples of body-shaming I have personally experienced," she said in her blog post. "You do not have to be fat to be a victim of body-shaming. It is also experienced at the other end of the spectrum, although this aspect tends to fly under the radar a little more."
The Gold Coast-based blogger called it a body-shaming double standard: "Why is it ok and more tolerable for fat people to talk so boldly about body-positivity and have their feats celebrated, whilst on the other hand, skinny people are somewhat dismissed and their message is quite often lost in translation?"
That statement isn't exactly true. Despite body positivity making its way into the mainstream, overweight people still face a tremendous amount of discrimination in society, especially women. One study published earlier this year showed how powerful of an effect fat-shaming had on overweight women—it concluded that overweight women who believed negative messages about themselves were more likely to develop health issues like heart disease and diabetes.
With that said, it's still not okay for anyone to endure cruel, hateful comments about their appearance. O'Brien thinks that people feel it's okay to say negative comments about skinny people because of namely the media, the fashion industry and the pornography industry labeling skinny as desirable. She said that this causes her to face a lot of harsh criticism when she tries to talk about body positivity.
She may not realize how hard it can still be to be overweight in today's society, but O'Brien's post still highlights an important fact. Making someone feel ashamed of their body , no matter what that body looks like, is body-shaming, and it's a dick move.
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Is nakedness invisibility’s opposite? Maybe not, but, if it’s unapologetically displayed, it can be a kind of antidote to erasure.
“Bebe on Sand,” 2014. Photographs by Jocelyn Lee
“Deborah at Aquinnah Beach in September,” 2020.
“Nancy at 78, Maine at 18 (Aunt and Grandniece),” 2018.
“Nancy Floating at Quitsa Pond,” 2016.
“Judith at Home,” 2009. Photographs by Jocelyn Lee
“Bebe and Pagan in the Red Room,” 2004.
“Bebe and Pagan Pregnant with Twin Girls,” 2012.
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Some clichés about the cycle of life are true. When you are raising young children, the days are long and the years are short. And when you’re a woman, you will, at about age fifty, become invisible. All our lives, as girls and younger women, we prepare ourselves to be looked at. We grow accustomed to registering —to attracting, evading, or denouncing the male gaze. In “ Mrs. Dalloway ,” Clarissa, newly aware of herself as a woman of a certain age, walks down the street thinking, “This body, with all its capacities, seemed nothing—nothing at all.” The cultural critic Akiko Busch, quoting that line from “Mrs. Dalloway,” notes that “a reduced sense of visibility does not necessarily constrain experience.” True, but it takes some getting used to, and when it’s punctuated, as it often is, by condescension—when strangers are suddenly addressing you not even as “Ma’am” but, with a verbal wink, as “young lady”—you may not want to get used to it.
Is nakedness invisibility’s opposite? Maybe not, but, if it’s voluntarily, unapologetically displayed, it can be a kind of antidote to diminishment and erasure. A nude portrait of a woman older than, say, sixty is an unusual image—even a taboo one. To make such photographs, and, even more so, to pose for them, is an act of defiance. In the course of her career, the photographer Jocelyn Lee has been drawn to nude bodies of all shapes and ages. Her latest book, “Sovereign” (Minor Matters Books), features a selection of her photographs of women who range in age from their mid-fifties to their early nineties, posing naked, frequently outdoors and in natural settings.
Lee’s color images of older women are painterly, classical, but also frank. Skin puckers, crinkles, and sags. Bellies poof and pleat. A silver-haired woman stands knee-deep in a pond strewn with autumn leaves, looking directly at the camera, her elbows angled back like wings to reveal one intact breast and one mastectomy scar. A naked woman sits on a blanket of moss in the woods, her breasts and belly soft, so at ease she might be napping. In “Nancy at 78, Maine at 18,” a woman and her grandniece stand nude on a beach. Side by side, their long-legged, curly-headed bodies rhyme, but also remind us of the ways time will remake our familiar, corporeal selves. The image is not some grim memento mori, though. The women lean comfortably toward each other, touching shoulders; the younger woman’s arm loops through the elder woman’s. Behind them, the sea and sky are a light-suffused blue.
Lee, who is fifty-nine, lives part of the year on a lush, wooded property outside of Portland, Maine. She’s taken some of the portraits of older women at a pond near her house, and others on beaches at Martha’s Vineyard and elsewhere. The natural settings, devoid of sociological detail and inherently beautiful, tend to banish ironic readings and extend a certain benevolence to the naked subjects. We aren’t in paradise here—nobody in these photos looks that naïve—but we are not in any sort of judgment-laden social space, either. Lee told me that she hoped the locations implied the warmth of sun on the body—“that kind of comfort and love”—and communicated the idea that we are “all essentially sensual creatures.”
“The camera can be very cruel depending on how you use it,” she said. “There’s a whole tradition of photography that’s based on criticality and cruelty. Diane Arbus —whom I love, by the way—looked for unflattering moments to create a sense of drama. Sometimes that can be done with the juxtaposition of elements in a space, the exaggeration of the appearance of wealth or poverty, harsh lighting.”
Lee said that, by contrast, her work had sometimes been criticized for being “too earnest or romantic.” But she made her peace with that a long time ago. Through her photography, Lee has always tried to understand “what lay ahead.” When she was still in college, long before she had children herself, she photographed a pregnant friend in the nude as part of her thesis project. “This was before the Demi Moore Vanity Fair cover; people didn’t really know what a pregnant woman looked like,” she said. Through the years, she took many nude photographs of her mother, who, she says, had a remarkable ease in her own skin. Lee continued taking pictures of her as she was dying of cancer.
I’m about six months older than Lee, and, all in all, I consider aging to be far better than the alternative, as my own mother, who died at sixty, the age I am now, used to say. Still, I prefer the cloudy mirror in my bathroom to any in which I can see myself clearly. The older women who posed for Lee in the nude include professors, writers, artists, an astrologer, a hospice worker, and a small-town mayor. To me, they seem very brave, but it bothers me to say so. We all have bodies; if we’re lucky, we all get old, or at least older. Why not show what it looks like?
Two of Lee’s subjects, Judith and Nancy, have been posing for her for decades. Both told me that they don’t love how they look in some of the images, but that they treasured the experience of making them with Lee, whose process is creative and collaborative. Nancy, who is eighty, said, “I cringe when I look at the images, but I know that when I’m ninety I’m gonna say, ‘Ooh, look how great I looked!’ ” Her grandniece Maine, who posed with her, is a photography student. Maine told me that Lee’s image makes her happy because her grandaunt and she look so alike in it. “It’s like seeing myself in sixty years, and I sort of love that,” she said. “I think Nancy is beautiful.” Lee told me that she plans to photograph the pair every year.
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Every day, it’s the same story. It starts slowly. I come home from work and see that my son has taken off his shorts and is sitting in his underwear and T-shirt, playing Legos.
While I’m cooking dinner, I notice that my daughter has somehow wiggled out of her pants and is prancing around the house with a diaper clad butt, T-shirt and shoes. By the time dinner is served, both kids are topless. Which, of course, makes me shake my head and call them barbarians. We obviously don’t “dress” for dinner. It’s also greatly reduced spaghetti stains. After dinner, they wash their hands and faces and head outside to our fenced yard to play while I clean up from dinner. When I go to join them for our gardening chores, they’re naked. Naked and running around like a couple of kids on spring break. My daughter toddles up to me, her chunky legs and protruding belly so adorable, I want to grab her and tickle it. “I nakky!” “Yes, love. You are indeed naked.” “Me too, mama! I’m naked too,” my son yells as he turns naked cartwheels in the grass. “I see that.” It doesn’t matter if it’s just me and the kids or if we have a house full of company, at some point the kids’ clothes come off. They run through the sprinklers giving the garden a late evening drink. They paint their bodies with sidewalk chalk and become tigers. They fall flat on their backs in the grass and laugh at the tickling sensation. For a short time, I tried to teach them to keep their clothes on. At least while playing outside. There was one problem. I didn’t have an answer for “why”. Except “why not”?

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