Nsa Hookup Definition
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Whether you are just joining the dating scene, returning to the world of dating after years in a committed relationship, or not up to speed on the latest dating jargon, there are a few terms that you will encounter over and over at any dating site that you need to understand. Even if you think you know what NSA, FWB and ONS mean, keep on reading. You too might learn a thing or two that will make your dating experience better.
Anyone searching dating sites to find companionship, interesting people, dates or even a long-term relationship will encounter these three acronyms often: NSA, FWB and ONS. In this article, we will define these terms and explain what the differences between the three are.
Not necessarily a relationship, the Urban Dictionary defines NSA as “the willingness / desire to have sex without the necessity of a relationship. NSA means let’s have some fun without creating any obligations beyond the moment. We do what we do tonight and don’t ever have to see each other again. But without the negative connotation of one-night stand, even if that is what it is.”
‘Friends with benefits’ (FWB) is commonly defined as a sexual relationship between two people where the primary basis of the relationship is sex with no expectations of a romantic relationship or other commitment. The Urban Dictionary defines Friends With Benefits as “a friend in which you are allowed sexual activity but no true relationship is involved. Not a girlfriend or a boyfriend. The benefit is purely sexual. Not to be tied with feelings.” A second definition is “a friend with whom you may occasionally ‘hook up’ or make out with, etc etc, and may do so without worries about commitment.”
This is a fairly simple concept to understand. A ONS is one evening of sex with a partner you never desire to or expect to see again. Once again turning to the Urban Dictionary, “ONS is an acronym indicating the common dating phenomenon ‘one night stand’. You can also use the acronym ONS to indicate a person with whom you have had said ‘one night stand’.”
While surfing a dating site, or connecting with people at the site, you will encounter these terms repeatedly. While on the surface there is a lot of commonality between the terms, specifically all three refer to someone who is looking for a sexual relationship with no long-term commitment, there are subtle and not so subtle differences in how the terms are used by people at the dating site.
ONS is probably the most straight forward and easiest to understand. Anyone with this in their profile or who suggest this is looking for exactly that. A single night of sexual enjoyment with no expectation of anything beyond that one night. Take it at face value and proceed if that is what you want as well.
NSA can be as simple as a ONS but leaves open the possibility of more. Anyone using NSA is implying that they might be interested in more that just one night, maybe two or maybe three, but probably nothing beyond a week or two of hot and heavy sex at the most. This of course is completely determined by how well the first ONS went! It is also a term that is used to not be as blunt as blurting out ONS.FWB can be the most complex and difficult to deal with of the three. The fact that the name itself starts with friends implies that this is something growing out of an existing friendship. People using FWB at a dating website are saying they are interested in a sexual only relationship, but one that will last for a while and allow for the two of you to develop a friendship. On the other hand, friends with benefits with any new connection at a dating site may be nothing more than a hookup that may or may not evolve into something else.
When you hook up with someone or dating through a dating site, be sure that you know what these terms mean to you and discuss your expectations with any potential partner before closing the bedroom door. Mis-set expectations or unspoken expectations can only lead to hurt feelings and pain.
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Hookup’s meaning can be rather vague as it usually means there is sex involved between two people without any relationship commitments.
But for some, it may just mean kissing, making out and physical touches.
There is a certain cheeky mystery to hookups that people can’t seem to get enough of.
The ambiguity behind this is the pulsating heart of hookups that makes them so darn irresistible to many.
Whenever someone tells me they’re “hooking up”, it always leaves me in a cloud of disarray.
And almost every time this happens, my follow up question would always be “So, what does that mean? Are you guys just kissing, flirting or having sex?”.
I always get a different variation of answers and that got the gears turning in my head.
So, let’s explore the different understanding, perception and interpretation of what a hookup is.
A research article titled “What is Hooking Up? Examining Definitions of Hooking Up in Relation to Behavior and Normative Perceptions”, documented publications focusing on sexual hookups on college campuses.
It found that different research has shown inconsistency in how hooking up is defined.
Despite that, researchers generally concur that hooking up involves casual sexual behaviours, ranging from kissing to intercourse with a partner without any relationship commitment nor expecting any such commitment.
In the article, one cited research found that some students feel that hooking up generally refers to having sexual intercourse but many refers it to something less than sex.
Some found that it could mean just kissing, making out and touches.
However, another research paper found that about half of college students define hooking up as involving sex while 9% refers hooking up as not involving sexual intercourse.
With all these variety definitions and with no clear answers in sight, the team decided to ask real people of what are their interpretations of the word “hookup” in 2020. And boy, were they colorful.
Many research and people in general concur that this is the general definition of a hookup.
It could range from anything from kissing to sex, or everything in between.
Is sex always in the equation then?
Emma, 30, said that a hookup doesn’t necessarily have to end with sex.
“For me, the general term of hooking up means getting together where both people can enjoy whatever physical activities that takes place and doesn’t necessarily mean sex,” she said.
Then, will you come out feeling satisfied?
Luke, 25, said it doesn’t necessary mean that the sex has to be satisfactory for both parties as it is more of a way to release his lust for that moment.
““Hookup basically ends with me cumming. There is no emotional connection so it doesn’t necessarily end with the other person or even myself, coming out being totally satisfied as it isn’t intimate sex. It’s a quick bang and go…with the person’s consent of course,” said Luke.
And for some hookup means straight up sex and nothing else so that they don’t need to deal with any relationship drama after.
“It means sex to me. It is basically a way for me to scratch my itch minus dealing with the emotional redness that comes after,” said Stephanie, 26.
It could be a brief make out session or even sleeping over at someone’s place.
It usually doesn’t last beyond that and there is no contact after that.
Shaun, 25, said that it is really like a quick getaway.
“Basically, I go in, bang and then leave. It is anything involving fun where it is a fast entry in and exit out,” he explained.
It isn’t exactly planned and is rather on the spur of the moment unless both parties actually laid out the rules before meeting up, especially if you connected through hookup apps.
That also means both parties usually just go with the flow like there’s no tomorrow.
“I’ve met girls in apps where we agree to have coffee and chat with no discussions on the after, before meeting up.
“The invitation to sex comes after. In my experience, girls like to see if there is any chemistry in the first place before inviting me over,” said Alex, 30.
Hookups have been very fluid and that includes what it has been known by people.
Slang terms such as “no strings attached”, “casual encounters”, “booty call” and “one-night stands” are commonly used when referring to hooking up.
For 28-year-old Chloe, the definition of hookups have been evolving over the years, especially with apps such as Tinder lying around.
“My parents would refer hooking up as just dating and hooking up into a relationship.
“I would say today it could mean – ONS, casual sex that’s not just for one night but no friendship is involved, or even friends with benefits,” she said.
Friends with benefits do have one distinct difference though.
It happens when two friends agree to get into a sexual relationship while cutting out the emotions.
Interestingly enough, some refer hookups as flings but some think otherwise.
“Hookups are definitely a casual meet for sex or making out. If it happens with the same person repetitively, it’s a fling for me. But it is kind of fluid as it means different things to different people,” said David, 30.
As pointed out earlier, some don’t need sex to consider it as a hookup.
Props for being able to restrain themselves from doing it and just cuddling or spooning till the next day.
“Anything but sex. But that could just be me as I don’t fancy sleeping around but I like fooling around until oral sex and that’s it.
“Sometimes we just want to hug each other and fall asleep together. It is a way to get over the temporary loneliness, ” said Jerome, 31.
Hookups can be fun and may work for you if you’re looking for something to fulfill your sexual desires and explore them.
However, it may not work for everyone.
So, do give a thought first if it is for you, rather than giving in to the pressure by friends or society.
If you do decide to pursue hookups, we have a full guide on hookup, which includes some neat tips to get the steamiest hookups!
If you’re a lesbian or gay and looking to hookup, we did not forget about you!
We have tried and tested our top favourites hookup apps for lesbians and gays.
Kelvin Kevin is the Chief Marketing Officer and Chief Content Editor of the World-Renowned HappyMatches.com Dating App and Dating Site. An avid writer since young, he is an Expert Dating and Relationships Coach for Casual Dating, Serious Dating and General Dating. You can follow him on Twitter (@HowToDateBetter), and also check out his personal Dating Blog, for the latest Dating Advice and Dating Tips to help Straight, Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual Singles and Couples find and enjoy Fulfilling and Intimate Dating Relationships.
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