Non-Penetrative Sex

Non-Penetrative Sex
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An Illustrated Guide to Giving Pleasure Without Penetration
In the book 'Bliss Club', Jüne Plã describes why your hands, tongue and other body parts are your hottest assets.
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This article originally appeared on VICE Italy .
Jüne Plã is a 37-year-old video game character designer and illustrator from France. A couple of years ago, she started posting content on Instagram about techniques you can use to stimulate your partner’s genitals using your hands, tongue and other body parts.
Today, the project has over 700,000 followers and is more inclusive in its language, body parts and tricks. Plã’s newly-released book , Bliss Club: Sex Tips for Creative Lovers – a literary adaptation of the account – proves that non-penetrative sex isn’t just foreplay.
“I thought I’d invented the technique on page 216,” I told Plã at the beginning of our interview, referring to a move where you apply pressure on your partner’s anus with your knee. She laughed and said her friend uses it, too.
YOUR PARTNER’S NIPPLES CAN BE EXTREMELY SENSITIVE. LEGEND GOES THAT SOME PEOPLE CAN ORGASM ONLY THROUGH NIPPLE STIMULATION. IMAGINE YOUR PARTNER HAS TWO CLITORISES INSTEAD OF NIPPLES AND PROCEED AS IF YOU WERE PERFORMING ORAL SEX. BRUSH AGAINST THEM SLIGHTLY WITH THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE, ALTERNATING INTENSITY AND RHYTHMS. IT’S ALSO PERFECTLY FINE TO GENTLY NIBBLE.
VICE: Hey Jüne. How did you come up with the idea for these illustrations?
Jüne Plã: A couple of years ago, one of my partners read a VICE article about a particular erogenous zone of the vagina. It interested us both, but most of the articles about it didn't have pictures. After some research, I made a drawing for my boyfriend so he could get there with his hands, since we couldn't manage with his penis. It was pretty useful, so I kept with it – first on Instagram, and then with the book.
How did you research these techniques? Is it based on personal experience?
I’ve drawn from multiple sources. First of all, when I was 20 I met a guy who saw penetration as one of many options, and this inspired me to experiment more. I started watching "instructional" videos on porn sites. Obviously, a lot of the stuff was useless, but some videos explained techniques for some very respectable cunnilingus and fellatio . My friends also contributed – straight and gay.
THE GRAND FINALE. BEGIN BY DELICATELY INSERTING YOUR FINGERS INTO THE VAGINA. ONCE INSIDE, SLIGHTLY SEPARATE YOUR HANDS SO AS TO FORM A V SHAPE, WITHOUT ABRUPT MOVEMENTS. IT’S BEST TO USE THIS TECHNIQUE TOWARDS THE END BECAUSE IT ENCOURAGES THE RELAXATION OF THE VAGINAL OPENING.
Have you received any suggestions from your followers?
Yes. There are obviously some trolls in the comments, but there are also people tagging friends, often couples, saying, “Hey, this is what I was talking about, see?” That always makes me smile. They give me prompts to take the discussion further, and I often post in response to suggestions from my followers’ comments.
DMs are a lot more personal. People ask questions and advice, and I try to answer as much as possible, although it’s difficult to keep up with them now that the number of followers is growing.
Most of them are straight, cisgender women who usually feel guilty and/or at fault because they are unable to orgasm with their partner . But there are also guys who ask me how they can give pleasure to their partner and how to achieve prostate pleasure. Thirty-two percent of my audience is male, which is relatively high compared to other feminist profiles.
YOUR FEET SHOULD BE CLEAN AND NOT TOO COLD. SIT IN FRONT OF YOUR PARTNER, WITH YOUR LEGS BENT AND FEET AROUND THE PENIS. MOVE YOUR FEET UP AND DOWN. YOUR PARTNER CAN HELP YOU BY KEEPING THEM IN PLACE.
You pay close attention to diversity both in the French text and translations into other languages. How important is inclusivity to you?
For me, feminism is inclusive by definition. We must destroy the idea that language belongs to someone – to the patriarchy, to the white, cisgender, straight man. We must convey the plurality of the world. Being a feminist does not mean fighting for your own privilege, but for everyone’s rights.
What myths about sex bother you the most?
I’d rather make a wish – that we overcome the narrative that people endowed with a vulva must be able to achieve an orgasm through penetration. Meanwhile, for penis-endowed people, I hope prostate pleasure is normalised and that they experience orgasms of unexpected intensity.
A TAP ON YOUR BUTT IS ALWAYS FUN, NO MATTER YOUR GENDER.
What was the hardest part of writing the book?
The most complicated part was the introductory section that illustrates the anatomical parts. Researcher Odile Fillod helped me in the revision phase. But, to be honest, I didn’t know much before I started the @ jouissance.club project.
The biggest realisation was when I found out the penis and clitoris are much more similar than I thought. For example, the dicklit – the nickname that many FtM (Female to Male) or FtX (Female to X) trans people use to refer to their clitoris getting bigger after taking testosterone – is kind of a bridge between the two.
Off the top of your head, what are your top three techniques to use on a partner with a vulva, and three to use on a partner with a penis?
Firstly, I’d say that for people with a vulva, using the small shower head is a must.
SIMPLY UNSCREW THE SHOWER HEAD AND DIRECT THE JET OF THE WATER ON THE CLITORIS (NEVER INSIDE THE VAGINA).
Then I would experiment with the pinching technique on the clitoris.
PINCH THE CLITORIAL GLANS WITH YOUR LIPS, AND AT THE SAME TIME CARESS IT WITH YOUR TONGUE ON THE SIDES, FROM TOP TO BOTTOM OR RIGHT TO LEFT, AS YOU PREFER.
And finally, the “Captain Hook” technique.
THE PARTNER IS LAYING ON THEIR BACK. BENDING YOUR FINGERS INTO A HOOK SHAPE, INSERT THEM UP TO THE KNUCKLES AND DO AN UP-AND-DOWN MOTION, HITTING THE THIN WALL SEPARATING THE VAGINA FROM THE RECTUM.
For techniques to try on a partner with a penis, I would start with “a new angle”.
BEND THE PENIS DOWN SO THAT IT CREATES A 90 DEGREE ANGLE WITH THE ABDOMEN AND PERFORM ORAL SEX. THIS INTENSIFIES THE PLEASURE AND IT IS VERY PRACTICAL IN CASE YOU WANT TO LOOK AT YOUR PARTNER. IF YOU CAN DO IT HANDS-FREE, YOU SKIP TO PRO LEVEL.
Then I would go on to use the knee technique, like this:
HOLD YOUR PARTNER’S PENIS WITH ONE HAND WHILE PRESSING DOWN ON THEIR ANUS WITH DETERMINATION. GENTLY MOVE IT AROUND BUT BE CAREFUL – THE BALLS ARE RIGHT THERE.
And to top it off, I’d go on to prostate stimulation.
FIRST MAKE YOUR PARTNER COMFORTABLE BY MASSAGING HIS ANUS WITH A BIT OF LUBE. WHEN YOU FEEL THAT THE ANUS HAS RELAXED, SLOWLY INSERT YOUR FINGER AND MASSAGE IN CIRCLES TOWARDS THE FRONT OF THE PELVIS.
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W hen it comes to having pleasureful sex, penetration is really just one tool in the toolbox—and one that isn't even necessary for reaching orgasm. Not to mention, rushing to penetration could mean missing out on all sorts of stimulating sensations, and for vulva-owners especially, doing so may even come at the cost of reducing the chance of an orgasm—which tends to happen fastest with external clitoral stimulation . To that end, engaging in non-penetrative sex acts with a partner isn’t just fore- play , or an appetizer for the main course. Rather, it's a satisfying route to orgasm in its own right—a route which sex therapist Rachel Wright, LMFT , calls “outerplay.”
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You can think of outerplay as any type of sexually inspired play that happens between partners without penetration, says Wright. “It presents a fun opportunity to get to know each other’s bodies more intimately,” she adds, and because of the exploratory nature of it, it tends to involve more intentionality and curiosity, too.
“Outerplay presents a fun opportunity to get to know each other’s bodies more intimately.” —Rachel Wright, LMFT
“I find that non-penetrative sex offers people greater opportunities for sexual communication because we often ask for or provide more direction for the hand, mouth, level of touch, erogenous zone, and so on,” says sexologist Rebecca Alvarez Story , founder of the intimacy marketplace Bloomi .
Homing in on non-penetrative sex acts can also help strip sex of preconceived (and often limiting) expectations around penetrative performance and refocus it as a meaningful experience of pleasure, says Wright. And just like frottage sex , which involves rubbing erogenous zones together, the full suite of outerplay sex acts are, of course, accessible to those who don’t want to or can’t participate in penetrative intercourse.
Regardless of whether or not you’re into or able to practice penetration, though, non-penetrative sex acts can be a wholly orgasmic addition to your sex repertoire. And if you’re in a sex rut with your partner as of late, this kind of outerplay may be just the thing you need to switch up your routine and infuse it with that much more pleasure . Below, the experts share their steamiest tips for reaching orgasm with a partner, no penetration necessary.
“We know that the clitoris is the organ of the body specifically built for pleasure in people with vulvas, thanks to thousands of nerve endings,” says Story. And because it’s often best stimulated without penetration, a handful of non-penetrative sex acts can lead to clitoral orgasm. “Learning how to stimulate the entire clitoris, and not just the bulb, can be incredibly satisfying,” Story adds, suggesting exploring with various levels of pressure or light suction, or incorporating a clitoral vibrator (more on that below).
You don’t even have to touch much less penetrate a sexual partner to engage in this show-and-tell sex act—but just watching could be every bit as hot. Masturbating in front of a partner also serves the dual purpose of teaching them exactly what feels good to you. “We know our bodies so well that it’s incredibly helpful to actually guide someone through what pleasures us,” says Wright. Not to mention, the experience of demonstrating your own arousal technique to a partner could be arousing for both you and them, in and of itself.
To be clear: Oral sex is sex. You’re likely familiar with this particular non-penetrative sex act as a foreplay technique, but if it’s done well (and with patience), it can be the main orgasmic event. And for vulva-owners, because it stimulates the clitoris, oral sex may also be a more effective pathway to orgasm than penetration alone.
“Your mouth is warm, wet, and soft,” says Story. “This provides a highly arousing combination that can help you slow down to enjoy sex and orgasm.” She’s a proponent of the Kivin Method , in particular, for anyone with a vulva. “This is where you lie on your back and bring your knees to your chest or place them over your partner’s shoulders while they lie sideways and use up-and-down motions, which go side-to-side on you,” she says.
But of course, this is just one method, and both Story and Wright suggest taking your time and getting exploratory with different lip-and-tongue motions to see what feels best for you. Another way to (quite literally) spice things up? Incorporate flavored lube , suggests Wright. It’s designed to bring the sensual experience of taste into the bedroom—and give you just one more reason to move your lips closer to any part of a partner’s body.
“People can orgasm from stimulation to erogenous zones we may not consider often enough, like the nipples, neck, prostate, anus, and inner thighs,” says Story. For vulva-owners, breasts may very well win the award for most under-appreciated erogenous zone , as one small 2011 study showed that when stimulated, the same region of the brain (the genital sensory cortex ) that lights up during vaginal and clitoral stimulation is activated.
That said, there are also a host of other lesser-known erogenous zones worth exploring, from the forehead and eyelids to the area between the breasts. You can start by warming up your body—try this somatic exercise to get the blood flowing and release tension—and then use your fingers or lips to trace over your partner's body and uncover the zones that spark a sensation for them (or you). Or, put all of the above to work at once: Stimulating two or more areas at the same time can help you achieve a blended orgasm , says Story.
And we’re not just talking about the sex toys that are designed to be used by couples . It’s very possible to incorporate any or all types of sex toys into partnered non-penetrative sex acts, so long as you have a conversation before diving into sex in order to chat through who’s using what on whom and how.
“It’s exciting to try new things with toys and even help our partners experience pleasure in new ways,” says Wright. And if you’re in the market for new toys, she adds, it could also be a really fun date night to either go to a sex-toy shop or pick out a toy online together.
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Outercourse - A Guide to Non Penetrative Sex (NPS)

MLA Style Citation:

Mulroy, Harlan "Outercourse - A Guide to Non Penetrative Sex (NPS)."
Outercourse - A Guide to Non Penetrative Sex (NPS) .
25 Nov. 2009 EzineArticles.com.
10 Jul. 2022 < http://ezinearticles.com/?Outercourse---A-Guide-to-Non-Penetrative-Sex-(NPS)&id=3329856 >.

APA Style Citation:

Mulroy, H. (2009, November 25). Outercourse - A Guide to Non Penetrative Sex (NPS) .
Retrieved July 10, 2022, from http://ezinearticles.com/?Outercourse---A-Guide-to-Non-Penetrative-Sex-(NPS)&id=3329856

Chicago Style Citation:

Mulroy, Harlan "Outercourse - A Guide to Non Penetrative Sex (NPS)." Outercourse - A Guide to Non Penetrative Sex (NPS)
EzineArticles.com . http://ezinearticles.com/?Outercourse---A-Guide-to-Non-Penetrative-Sex-(NPS)&id=3329856

By
Harlan Mulroy |

Submitted On November 25, 2009

The first thing that has to be established when talking about outercourse is what it actually is. When I deal with outercourse, I refer to it as an alternative to intercourse that does not involve vaginal penetration. It is also known as Non-Penetrative Sex (NPS). This definition is not perfect as some people consider oral sex to not be outercourse, however it is the definition of outercourse I will use here.
Recently there has been a move towards outercourse being used as an alternative to intercourse for young people. While it is better that young people practice NPS than risk pregnancy by having sex unprepared, the practice usually leads to intercourse so it does not act as anything more than a temporary solution.
While many people consider outercourse to be a kind of foreplay, this is a limiting definition. In fact outercourse can be as satisfying as intercourse. Some people even view it as the highlight of the sex act. Therefore do not limit yourself by just thinking of it as foreplay, consider it as another tool for both of your sexual satisfaction!
Performing Outercourse: Guide to the Outercourse Orgasm
Outercourse comes in many different kinds, however there are a few major kinds:
* Dry hump grind: This is simulated sex using a layer of clothing to prevent penetration. Usually it is done in the underwear as it is easy to damage yourself on zippers (Believe me!) if done incorrectly. Mixing grinding and thrusting is the easiest way to make this great for your woman.
* The hand: There are countless ways to use your hand to stimulate your partner. In fact some techniques such as female squirting orgasm, as easier to do using your hands. The clitoris and G-spot are usually the easiest places to aim for, but the AFE and Deep Spot are also areas you should consider targeting.
* Breast play: There are a number of ways that a man can have an outercourse orgasm (Or give one) using a woman's breasts. Usually the nipples are the most sensitive part of the breast, so by focusing on them with teases, licking, squeezing and light twisting it is possible for her to have an outercourse orgasm from this. Many guys also push the breasts together, using lotion to use them as a 'vagina.'
* The legs: There are almost intimate erotic potential in the legs. For the woman, you can rub her clitoris with your thigh to give her a different kind of thrill. She can also stimulate you by clamping your penis between her thighs (Interfemoral intercourse). The guy wants to be careful to use lots of lotion and not to ejaculate onto the vagina as this is easy to do from this position. Other parts that can be used for an outercourse orgasm include her feet by putting them together. This leaves a gap that can be used and the Japanese traditional authors have written odes to the pleasures of this kind of sex. Her calves can also be used although this is tricky.
* The buttocks: Sex using the buttocks has the title of intergluteal sex. This is not anal sex as no penetration of the anus occurs. Instead the man clenches his penis between her buttocks for a different kind of thrill.
* The labia: This can be a great foreplay or a way to give genital-to-genital contact without penetration. Here the man angles his penis so that it runs the length of the labia. The woman can then rub up and down for a different kind of thrill.
* Oral sex. Some people consider this to be outercourse. This involves using your tongue or lips on the clitoris and labia.
Outercourse like many kinds of sex needs variety to be a big part of your sex life. Therefore you will want to make sure that you keep varying it to keep things exciting. Consider it an extra technique and even if you enjoy intercourse, mixing it with outercourse offers infinite possibilities for great sex where every part of your bodies becomes filled with erotic potential.
Harlan Mulroy is a sex expert. For all the latest information about improving your sex life and the female orgasms [http://www.completeorgasmguide.com], visit [http://www.completeorgasmguide.com].
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Sheriden Chanel is the senior lifestyle and relationships editor at xoNecole.com, covering all things love, life, beauty, and wellness. She has an affinity for travel, self-care, and anything BTS touches. Keep up with her on social
@sheridenchanel .
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