Non Consensual Femdom
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Consensual non-consent is a style of BDSM play in which everyone involves agrees to behave in a manner that mimics non-consensual behaviour. For the purposes of this answer, I’m going to pretend like it’s a two-person thing but in reality, it can involve any number of people.
It’s sometimes abbreviated to CNC and also referred to as resistance play and rape play.
Consensual non-consent is a style of BDSM play in which everyone involves agrees to behave in a manner that mimics non-consensual behaviour. For the purposes of this answer, I’m going to pretend like it’s a two-person thing but in reality, it can involve any number of people.
It’s sometimes abbreviated to CNC and also referred to as resistance play and rape play.
The key is that these scenes truly are consensual because they’ve been discussed ahead of time and have a framework for communicating consent without the normal methods (saying yes, looking enthusiastic, reciprocating).
Some people have very advanced frameworks for CNC. For example here’s an excerpt from a description of a particular CNC game that I was teaching to someone:
Is it normal to want to be raped? I'm 16 and I was sexually abused in the past, but I still want it to happen again. I don't know if I just want the attention from it or if it's just my typical self-destructive behavior because I self-harm.
I was kidnapped by four people and they had sex with me without my permission but I enjoyed it in the end. Is it rape? What should I do?
Has anyone ever secretly enjoyed being raped?
I was raped and I liked it. Does that make me mentally ill?
It is when you agree to do something with a partner you feel you need, but may not like at the time. The simplest is spanking. A lot of people who like spanking do not, you might be surprised, actually enjoy being spanked. So when a spanking is given, there is much objection. Consensual non consent is a license for the spanker to go ahead regardless, on prior agreement. It is often, and, in my opinion, should always be, to start with, safeword protected. So if things really get too much, you can say something like “banana” and the whole thing stops dead. The word should be printed out large, a
It is when you agree to do something with a partner you feel you need, but may not like at the time. The simplest is spanking. A lot of people who like spanking do not, you might be surprised, actually enjoy being spanked. So when a spanking is given, there is much objection. Consensual non consent is a license for the spanker to go ahead regardless, on prior agreement. It is often, and, in my opinion, should always be, to start with, safeword protected. So if things really get too much, you can say something like “banana” and the whole thing stops dead. The word should be printed out large, and displayed where easily read by the spankee.
A lot of trust is needed to enter into this form of dynamic. And you should take your time to develop it. Some, for instance, cry, but are expecting to be spanked well beyond initial tears. Some cannot cry, and in any case, the spanker should know when to stop, not something so easy to know with a stranger. Another important thing, with those who require harsh treatment, is the check in - it is possible for a submissive to enter a kind of catatonic state, incapable of safewording. So it is necessary to keep querying, asking for answers, this can be a part of the game, but if the answers stop, or appear incoherent, also stop dead.
In either case, if you have to stop dead, be sure to be very supportive. You have made a big mistake, and owe them a great amount of help and kindness. Whatever they want, you should make it as easy as possible to have, even calling their mother, or whatever. Professional spankers, do not have a problem with having a best friend present, for safety. Or any other safety feature. This is, by the way, an instance of where a woman might hire the services of a man.
Things should never be allowed to progress to the point of safewording or check-in failure. For that reason, spankers often start too light. This should be borne with, and with feedback, limits determined.
A word about submissives. They are often no such thing in real life. Often high-flyers with much responsibility. Single mothers, CEO’s, medics. This simply provides a release from control, and pressure.
Consensual non-consent is typically a BDSM term used between partners or groups of persons engaged in various acts of kinkery.
Also called meta-consent or blanket consent, consensual non-consent is an agreement where comprehensive consent is given before play starts. Because no knowledge of pending activities is necessarily known, all parties involved must have extreme levels of trust with the other(s). Consensual non-consent is also considered irrevocable in most circumstances.
This level of consent is usually reserved for very close relationships or in total-power exchange relationships. Owner
Consensual non-consent is typically a BDSM term used between partners or groups of persons engaged in various acts of kinkery.
Also called meta-consent or blanket consent, consensual non-consent is an agreement where comprehensive consent is given before play starts. Because no knowledge of pending activities is necessarily known, all parties involved must have extreme levels of trust with the other(s). Consensual non-consent is also considered irrevocable in most circumstances.
This level of consent is usually reserved for very close relationships or in total-power exchange relationships. Owner/slave and 24x7 relationships may also use consensual non-consent parameters within a relationship.
Because normal stop or safe words are typically disregarded in consensual non-consent activities, it is considered extreme or edgy. Before entering this agreement, parties must be aware of the potential ramifications. Submissives and slaves must understand that play will not stop despite a safe word uttered or involved. Dominants or Masters must understand the fine line between extreme stimulation and outright physical or psychological abuse.
I have personally been involved with consensual non-consent relationships and it can be stressful for Dominants. There is a risk of breaching the trust relationship with a submissive and causing significant damage. Before entering, it is vital that both parties have excellent communication and a Dominant or Master understands when to push forward and when to back off.
A second use of the term is during rape play - Alice Vits describes this well.
Consensual non-consent, or CNC, is a term from BDSM and it has two meanings.
The primary meaning is applied to those practicing Lifestyle / total power exchange / 24/7 D/s relationships. It means that the submissive agrees to all decisions and actions of the Dominant, even in cases where they would normally object or experience discomfort. The submissive waives their right to make decisions (in some areas or in their entire life). It is an extreme form of power exchange and relies on absolute trust between partners. Many people in the BDSM community frown upon this, as it may, in some interpret
Consensual non-consent, or CNC, is a term from BDSM and it has two meanings.
The primary meaning is applied to those practicing Lifestyle / total power exchange / 24/7 D/s relationships. It means that the submissive agrees to all decisions and actions of the Dominant, even in cases where they would normally object or experience discomfort. The submissive waives their right to make decisions (in some areas or in their entire life). It is an extreme form of power exchange and relies on absolute trust between partners. Many people in the BDSM community frown upon this, as it may, in some interpretations, mean that the Dom has the power to demand things that are dangerous and traumatizing and the sub has no right to refuse or argue. As this can go beyond SSC principles (“Safe, sane, consensual”), naturally such extreme application of D/s is not universally welcome.
The secondary meaning is that of rape play and similar games - where the Bottom acts as though they are resisting and objecting to what is happening, while the Top tries to subdue and force the Bottom, which is an act that is done to the mutual pleasure within a scenario and is subject to safe words just like any other scene. I favor this second meaning because the former is sufficiently expressed by terms like “TPE” and “LS” for me.
Dom: Are you ready to comply while I’m doing what I need and what I want?
… which in one case lasts a lifetime, and in the other until the end of the scene.
What do you feel while and after being raped?
I woke up to a girl having sex with me without my consent. Is it rape? If yes, what can I do? For she'd shackled me and I unwillingly ejaculated inside her. She can very easily play the victim card.
Can a victim experience pleasurable sensations, or even an orgasm, while being raped?
Do girls feel pain in rape? I’m very confused between sex and rape ..
It's a sophisticated game of pretend played between two (or occasionally more) consenting adults.
Basically, the rules are as follows: One person pretends to sexually assault the other, and the second pretends that they don't like it.
From the outside, this can look just like an actual sexual assault. Sometimes, CNC is used as an excuse to commit an actual assault. This is why CNC should not be practiced between people who have not built up a great deal of trust between them.
What do you feel while and after being raped?
I’m not going to hide my profile from this answer. My words provide strength for others.
I have been raped. And yeah, it was absolutely terrible. It’s like your soul leaving your body, and you’re too numb to feel anything anymore.
I was 12 years old, barely in the 7th grade. I had a huge crush on this boy, whom we will rename “J”. I looked up to him, and I used to fantasize about us getting married; although we had maybe spoken twice at this point. I would get so excited when he would wave at me in the hallways, my heart would beat 100 miles per hour when I saw him.
J was in the 8th grade, an
I’m not going to hide my profile from this answer. My words provide strength for others.
I have been raped. And yeah, it was absolutely terrible. It’s like your soul leaving your body, and you’re too numb to feel anything anymore.
I was 12 years old, barely in the 7th grade. I had a huge crush on this boy, whom we will rename “J”. I looked up to him, and I used to fantasize about us getting married; although we had maybe spoken twice at this point. I would get so excited when he would wave at me in the hallways, my heart would beat 100 miles per hour when I saw him.
J was in the 8th grade, and was 14 when this occurred. He was twice my size, scaring everyone in my grade. Not me, of course. I would follow him around like a puppy, trying to get his attention. This was pretty common for most 12 year olds at the time. It was a very healthy school crush.
We rode the same school bus, and got off at the same stop. I would walk to my grandparents house, which was the street before his. Sometimes, I would walk to the park, which was across the street from his house.
At 12 years old, I had endured quite a bit. My mother was an abusive alcoholic, and I barely got to see my dad. So yeah, I was pretty battered up. But I still had my innocence.
One day, I was swinging on a swing after school. I didn’t have homework, and my grandparents didn’t really care where I was. I was minding my own business, pretending to be an airplane or something. I guess J sees me from across the street, comes out of his house and walks over to the swings.
“Are you thirsty?” He says. “You’ve been out here for a while. Why don’t you come inside and I’ll get you some Gatorade?” I was absolutely amazed. My crush, talking to me?!
but wait…inside…his house? I never had parents to educate me on “stranger danger”, or what red flags were. I was so conflicted, but I wanted to seem cool in front of J.
So, I followed him back to his house. As soon as I stepped inside, I realized that something was off. He locked the front door behind me, and I felt like I was frozen. J took off my clothes, and it felt like peeling clothes from a statue. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t scream. All I could whisper was, “Please, stop.”
It went from slow and careful to violent within seconds. He had grabbed a handful of my hair and shoved me face first into his couch. I started crying, because I was scared. I didn’t understand what this was. This was never explained to me. J raped me anally first. Like I said earlier, J was a big guy for his age. This unfortunately resulted in a much bigger penis. I knew I was bleeding, and I finally got my lungs to scream. It hurt so goddamn bad. He pulled out eventually, and I thought it was over. I started praying over and over again, hoping someone would drive by and hear my screams. Since I didn’t move, I guess J thought that I wanted more. He then raped me vaginally. I felt pain, and then I didn’t feel anything. I felt numbness, like I wasn’t a person anymore. My body felt empty, I felt like I was drifting into space. I started counting the seconds as they passed. I counted 1862 seconds.
i can barely remember what happens from here. I can’t remember if he came in me, or came at all. I was too numb to tell. I remember him putting back on my clothes, patting my head, and shoving me out his front door. I remember the pain of walking home. I’ll say this; I’ve felt pain. I’ve broken several bones, been through many heartaches. But what J did to me is truly the worst pain I’ve ever felt.
I was bleeding for several days after. I withdrew myself, and I became very depressed. The next day at school, everyone already knew. I was labeled as a “slut”, because J told everyone that I “begged him to fuck me”. I was manipulated into thinking that I wanted it, that it was consensual. I had never been taught what consent was, I didn’t know the difference. I tried telling my dad 2 weeks later. I wasn’t direct, but I said something along the lines of, “My friend told me this…what should she do?” I was met with, “What was she wearing? What was she doing?” And I knew I had to keep this to myself. I couldn’t trust anyone.
For my 18th birthday, I did report it to my local police station. J has reached out to me within the past 3 years, admitting what he’s done and apologizing. He’s made new accounts in an attempt to control me with what he’s done to me. Little does he know, I was just waiting for the right time to report him. And I have all of the screenshots.
I’ve been to therapy since my 18th birthday to help with this trauma, and everyday gets a little better.
J, if you’re reading this, burn in hell. You’re sick, disgusting, and deserve to rot in prison. You didn’t take my fire, and your “apology” texts will only put you behind bars for a longer sentence. Fuck you.
Edit: Thank you for all the support, I totally didn’t think I’d get any responses. <3 A year later I checked this, and holy crap!! I’ll try to respond to all of them today! (Also, I do go by my middle name now, which is Spencer. Sorry to anyone I’ve confused on this post!)
When does consensual sex become rape, if ever? How fast should a man stop if the woman changes her mind?
Originally Answered: When does consensual sex become rape, if ever?
Let me tell you a story. Don’t rethink if it amuses you.
I was 19 and my 22 year old boyfriend was coming to see me after a long long time. His mom caught him back, and so did traffic and the 7 pm meeting turned into a 10.30 pm meeting. With an angry face, I threw my arms in kiddish contempt “you come to meet me after weeks and for half an hour?It is late at night and no place here in Delhi is safe.”
“At the least let’s leave your hostel, we will go somewhere where you will feel very good. I really gotta make up for all the lost times.” He added “A good hotel will be very safe and we will be abl
Let me tell you a story. Don’t rethink if it amuses you.
I was 19 and my 22 year old boyfriend was coming to see me after a long long time. His mom caught him back, and so did traffic and the 7 pm meeting turned into a 10.30 pm meeting. With an angry face, I threw my arms in kiddish contempt “you come to meet me after weeks and for half an hour?It is late at night and no place here in Delhi is safe.”
“At the least let’s leave your hostel, we will go somewhere where you will feel very good. I really gotta make up for all the lost times.” He added “A good hotel will be very safe and we will be able to talk before I catch my flight at 4 am.”
“ Ha-ha. Hotel would seem like we are going there for sex :P”
“ I am not that type of a guy! I am sorry if I gave out any wrong notions, but if you think I am that type of a guy, I am offended.”
After buttering him for some time that I was kidding, we vamoosed in the car to a good hotel. As we entered, I jumped on the cushiony bed, and he fell by my side, praising my beautiful eyes.
“How was your day” and we had those other normal talks gf-bf have about the newness in the other’s life.
Breaking all the romance, I looked at his leather bag with a simian anger “You again bought leather. I explained how they torcher animals for this! And you said you won’t buy leather again!”
“Oh, sorry I forgot. I will not do it again, I promise” as he waddled towards me. And it was in a blink of an eye that we kissed. A passionate kiss of lovers who were meeting after a long time. He dragged me towards him and moved his hand overs my back taking a feel of my curves.
“You don’t even know how to kiss. Let me tell you how to do it” he said staring me lovingly.
“I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to learn.”
“ It will be great.” He pulled my legs apartand wrapped them around him and kissed me again.
“ No No. I am not feeling comfortable. I don’t like my legs pulled apart”
“Nothing will happen, don’t be scared, I will not do anything.”
“ I am so scared. Please don’t do anything down there.”
I expressed my apprehension with three to four more ‘no’, and he assured that he will not do a thing, that posture was just for kiss.
“I am not feeling right we are getting sexual this soon”, I spoke my heart out.
“If I will not get sexual with my girlfriend, who I will get with. I keep travelling and we meet so less.”
“I don’t know. I am afraid. You know I am not into time-pass relationship and we haven’t yet discovered the other person enough. How could you even like me?”
“ You are astonishingly pretty and intelligent.”
“ That’s not a good enough reason. These traits are very common”
“ You talk so sweetly . You are so sweet”
“ That is not a good enough reason either”
“ It is not an exact science. There are no reasons. I like you so I like you” giving me another surprising mesmerizing kiss.
We talked about how we will meet in the future in his busy schedule and had some food. He offered me alcohol a few times and I denied. In the wine and room’s dim light , we shared a few kisses more.
I was wearing a black strap frock. He looked at me and removed the strap of my dress.
“Hey don’t do it! No don’t do it!”
“I am not doing anything, I am not removing your bra. I just wanted to kiss your shoulder.”
He started to kiss my shoulder and then my arm upto my hand. He kissed me on the lips, and started moving down my cleavage.
“ Don’t do it. No please don’t do it!”
“ Okay” So he left my upper portion and went to my belly.
“ Don’t do it. It is tingling me”
“ Why? It feels good.” And he continued kissing, “ I really wish you didn’t have this frock on.”
“ No, no , there is no way I am going to remove it!”
“ But you have such a perfect curvy body, what are you afraid to show?”
“ No I am just not comfortable. It is going too fast. I don’t want to do it”.
“ Okay, as you wish. I just wanted to know what is holding you back”
“ I am afraid.”
“ Okay” And he continued kissing my waist
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What is consensual nonconsent? - Quora
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