No Hands Deepthroat
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No Hands Deepthroat
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Really no delicate way to put this question, so…
When I’m giving my boyfriend a blowjob, there’s still at least another couple of inches that don’t fit in my mouth. I’ve tried putting my face at a 90-degree angle to his penis to make more room and open my throat, and that helps. I also notice that if I’ve had a drink or two, my gag reflex is a lot less sensitive. The problem is, I’ve always had a pretty sensitive gag reflex, maybe a little more sensitive than normal. Even when I went to my doctor’s office as a kid and he used a tongue depressor, I couldn’t stand it if it was anywhere near my throat. I also find it really difficult to swallow pills, and that may have something to do with it. Anyways, almost any time I try to take his whole penis in, I end up gagging or fighting off the urge to gag, which kind of kills the sexiness. He really loves it when I can fit more in, and I love giving him as much satisfaction as possible.
So, ladies (or men), advice? How do I train myself to ignore or lessen my gag reflex?
I have a small mouth and a severely over-active gag reflex. I have to use a child’s toothbrush and I throw up at the dentist. Even just my own spit sometimes triggers that nasty dry-heave, gaggy feeling. It’s awful.
IME, there really isn’t any way around it. I love oral but, seriously, I don’t get much more than the head in my mouth on a consistent basis. I can overcome it in spurts so I can take more of him in for just a single pass, which is surprising and sexy for him in that way, but to truly deepthroat? Forget about it. Good thing I have hands and a tongue. No one has ever complained about it to me.
When I was a kid I always had strep throat, and I spent a lot of time touching popsicles to my tonsils. I still do it today. I don’t have much of a gag reflex at all.
Perhaps you could practice with popsicles?
Deep-throating is vastly overrated, in my opinion. What you want to do is lightly grip and manipulate the base of the penis while going down of the rest of the penis. The twin sensations, after some practice, while stimulate your partner much more than throat action alone.
How about if you wrap your fingers around the base of his penis and stroke it while using your mouth as much as you can? Even measure how far you can go down with the top finger before it makes you gag. Use saliva to lube your hand (or lube). Occasionally try to see if you can go a little further.
I never thought gagging and torturing myself was sexy anyway, and I haven’t had any complaints with this method.
First, oral sex is more about the tongue than the lips, so if your tongue can reach an inch further than your lips, that counts.
And second . . . if my partner is to be believed, you have to be born without any gag reflex whatsoever.
If all else fails . . . find a partner who is “small.”
What a coincidence, when it spurts, it usually means I overcame
I think there are two different issues and if you ask you BF about he will probably agree.
Good blowjobs; All you really need is to be enthusiastic and have fun (it’s not a chore). The best ones I have had never involved deep throating. All the good nerve endings are at the head.
Deep throating; satisfies a totally different kink, you may be able to satisfy this in different ways depending on why he likes it. If he likes the visual, than you could start with him soft, and give him the visual until his blood pressure catches up.
I don’t know if it’ll work but I doubt you’ll hear any complaints.
I definitely agree, I just really like his reactions whenever I take all of him in.
If it’s something you really want to do, the gag reflex can be overcome. You might be surprised at how many how-to articles can be found. You’d think those articles would be in women’s magazines, and maybe some are, but the ones I’ve seen were in men’s magazines. I’ll summarize them for you.
If nothing else, it will help you when you have to take really big pills, and keep from gagging when your dental hygienist cleans your teeth.
First, understand the anatomy. Here’s an illustration.
Structures of the throat include the esophagus, trachea, epiglottis and tonsils.
When you swallow food, the epiglottis closes the trachea, so you don’t get any oatmeal in your lungs. It also closes when you deepthroat, and the penis goes down the esophagus. In the diagram, everything looks too narrow, right? If you open your mouth and stick your tongue out, there’s a lot of room. Look for yourself, in front of a mirror.
Understand that the gag is not so scary. Even if you throw up, it’s not a big deal, and you’ll learn to not gag.
Don’t go right for the BF. Practice first with a soft, narrow dildo, or a frankfurter, and get used to having something in there, without the stress of lovemaking.
When you think you are ready for the real thing, talk about it with him. You need to trust him to not push on the back of your head, and understand that you’re still working on the process. Tell him not to expect too much too soon. You’re not going right to a porn star’s ability in one night.
By the way, new research found that massaging the temples helps to overcome the gag reflex.
Do you actually throw up when you gag?
See, that’s the trick for me: I learned long ago that I may gag, but I don’t throw up. Learning that helped me relax a bit- a gag here or there isn’t going to kill me (and let’s be honest here: some guys think that’s hot). Plus, once you know you aren’t going to ruin the moment by barfing everywhere, you can practice more, easing up the gag reflex over time.
And for everyone saying she should do the hand method and such- those are all important parts of a good blow job no doubt, but a well placed bob or two with the whole thing down the throat seems to be a rather enjoyable thing for most guys. Certainly, I wouldn’t exclusively sit there jamming his entire dong down my throat for 10 minutes, but here and there it adds a certain something.
Do you actually throw up when you gag?
I don’t throw up, but I will cough hard and stop to breathe for a second.
Excuse me, I need to go see what the wife’s up to.
Don’t go right for the BF. Practice first with a soft, narrow dildo, or a frankfurter
Not a frankfurter. That seems like a risk for it breaking off leaving an inch or two, followed by choking.
What a coincidence, when it spurts, it usually means I overcame
Ha, I didn’t even notice the wording.
I posed this question to Nina Hartley once - she agreed that most men don’t care, it’s over-rated. Use your hands, show some enthusiasm. Most of the strongest sensation is in the head anyway (from what I have been told).
I’ve been told that sore throat sprays have a bit of anesthetic or something in them so that if you spray the back of your throat before you go down it’ll kill the gag reflex, no idea if it’s true though.
I’ve been told that sore throat sprays have a bit of anesthetic or something in them so that if you spray the back of your throat before you go down it’ll kill the gag reflex, no idea if it’s true though.
You have to desensitize your gag reflex over time. If you don’t like gagging, retching, and possibly inducing vomiting, this will be a pretty awful thing to do to yourself.
I’m in the same boat with the oversensitivity. But being able to deep throat is totally not worth sticking shit into my throat frequently until it stops bothering me so much…
A woman I know once told me that her trick is to squeeze her thumb in her left fist. I tried it (using my finger) and I didn’t gag but it wasn’t especially pleasant, either.
I’ve no idea if there’s a physiological reason for it or if it’s just a “concentrating on this so you don’t think about that” sort of thing. I suspect the latter but “works” is “works”.
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Putting a penis in one's mouth is not as simple an endeavor as one might assume it is. Learning how to give a blowjob is a complicated process that can be a source of anxiety, fear, and unexpectedly deep soul searching. While the person being fellated might not be aware, the person on the other end is being bombarded with a lot of blowjob-related mind garbage. But no one ever talks about these little nagging things that have to do with giving head. It's difficult enough to bring up blowjobs around the water cooler or at a dinner party, so getting into the dirty little details can be tough. Obviously, not so for me, since I'm broaching them right now.
Generally, conversations about blowjobs center around who can deep throat, how easy/difficult it is to get a penis in your mouth hole, and whether or not you should kiss after completion. But there are far more mundane factors at play, and all of them far more important than these racier questions. I don't know why we don't talk more about the minutiae of giving head. What I do know is that there are certain things I can guarantee most women are thinking when we go down on someone. Such universal thoughts deserve to be shared and commiserated over. Here are six things about blowjobs that no one ever talks about, but which I'm forcing you to listen to me talk about right now:
Blowjobs are scary - not because of what happens to you when you're giving them, but what you might inadvertently do to the person you're giving them to. For instance: suddenly, reflexively biting down for some reason. There are a lot of things I'd like to go through life never having experienced. Orally castrating someone is certainly one of them.
I envy anyone who can give a blowjob and retain sexy thoughts in their brain. For most of us, we're just trying not to choke on the chunk of our own hair that keeps slipping into our mouths. We're also thinking about the sweat smell of balls, making eye contact, the giant drip of our own spit smeared across our face, not biting down, etc.
Again, I have much envy for the sucker who has no gag reflex. Because for everyone else, when a penis hits the back of your throat, its all we can do to stop from vomiting. Add "vomiting on someone's penis" to the list of things I would like to go through life without ever doing. It doesn't exactly scream "sexy" - unless you're one of those fetishists I once saw on Jerry Springer (I'm aware that a Jerry Springer reference reveals my age, and I don't even care).
Look, I don't want to brag but, like, I work out. Even still, there's no workout quite like kneeling with no hands for support (one's on the shaft, the other's on the balls) while angling your face downward and bobbing your head up and down. There's no amount of yoga that will prepare your core for the exercise of giving head. It's a full-body experience that requires poise, concentration, balance, and abs and thighs of steel.
No matter how many blowjobs you've given, nothing can prepare you for giving your first one to a new person. Every penis is unique, and no two blowjobs are the same. The same can be said for all sex acts, but there's something particularly intimate about having someone's penis in your mouth. The whole experience can be quite discombobulating, what with all the balls you have to juggle (pun intended) with a new person.
It doesn't matter whether you're an established spitter or swallower, or how many times you've had a man cum in your mouth. There's always an intense anxiety when you feel him come close to orgasm. What is going to happen? Even though you know, you're still scared. For instance, every time it comes to that point, I start worrying that so much semen is going to squirt out so hard and fast that I will choke on it. This has literally never happened to me. But as soon as a guy starts clenching, I fill with fear. Even the most seasoned fellator has anxiety when it comes to finishing the job. Snap decisions have to be made, fast and in the heat of the moment, which can lead to embarrassing situations, like naked runs to the bathroom to spit up.
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