Nish Kumar: England Manager Reassures Nation

Nish Kumar's routine on England Manager Reassures Nation

Nish Kumar

England Manager Reassures Nation. Can we talk about this? Because this is MENTAL.

I saw the headline: 'England Manager Reassures Nation.' And I thought, that CAN'T be real. But it IS!

Everything's real now! Reality's broken! Satire surrendered years ago!

And people's reaction to England Manager Reassures Nation? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! No shock! No outrage!

Just, 'Oh yeah, I saw that on Twitter.' THAT'S IT?!

We've lost the capacity to be surprised! The bar for 'unbelievable' is SO high now!

England Manager Reassures Nation would have been front-page news for WEEKS ten years ago!

Now it's page seventeen between 'Cat Stuck in Tree' and 'Local Man Mildly Annoyed!'

The news cycle's so fast we can't process anything anymore!

By the time you've understood England Manager Reassures Nation, there are seventeen NEW crises!

It's exhausting! I'm exhausted! You're exhausted! The JOURNALISTS are exhausted!

They're like, 'Can we have ONE day without England Manager Reassures Nation?' Apparently not!

We're in perpetual crisis mode! Everything's an emergency! Which means nothing is!

So England Manager Reassures Nation happens and we just... add it to the pile. The massive pile of things we can't deal with!

Future archaeologists will find that pile and go, 'What HAPPENED to these people?'

And the answer is: EVERYTHING! Everything happened! All at once! Forever!

We couldn't cope so we just stopped trying! We accepted chaos as the new normal!

And England Manager Reassures Nation is just the latest example of our collective surrender!

But what else can we do? Fight it? How? We can't even agree on basic facts anymore!

Half the country thinks England Manager Reassures Nation is a problem, half thinks it's a solution!

Meanwhile I'm just here going, 'Can we all agree it's WEIRD?'

Apparently not! Weird is subjective now! Everything's subjective! REALITY is subjective!

We're living in post-truth, post-shame, post-sense Britain!

So yeah. England Manager Reassures Nation. Add it to the pile. See you tomorrow for the NEXT incomprehensible thing!

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/england-manager-reassures-nation/