Nipples Play
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Nipples Play
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Experts share the best tips and techniques for bringing nipple play into the mix during your next sex session.
You probably think of your penis (and maybe your prostate) as the star of the show when it comes to sex. But did you know nipple play can feel really damn good, too? We’re talking touching, biting, and sucking them, and maybe even using nipple-centric sex toys.
In a 2006 study , 52% of men reported that nipple stimulation intensified their arousal. “Men’s nipples vary greatly in sensitivity, being completely erotic for some and totally unresponsive for others,” says Kenneth Play, international sex educator and sex hacker, and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series . “In her book The Case of the Female Orgasm , Elizabeth Lloyd argues that the male nipple is a vestige of female nipples, similar to how the female orgasm is a vestige of the male reproductive apparatus to provide rewards for ejaculation.”
For some men, nipple play is so satisfying that it can even lead to an orgasm. The frequency of male nipple orgasms is still unclear, given the lack of research on the topic, Play says. But that’s also the great thing about sex: When the science is lacking, at least people can personally experiment!
Are you and/or your partner(s) ready to begin your nipple play journey? Here are some expert tips for men to bring their nips into the mix.
Some men can feel emasculated for wanting nipple play because, according to backward societal gender norms, it's a sign of femininity. And while we know that's BS—what you enjoy in the bedroom has no bearing on your gender!—some men still have trouble asking their partners to try it, or even admitting to themselves that they want to do it.
“For any new type of play, it’s best to ask in advance, rather than in the moment, if it’s something your partner is interested in as well,” says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven . “Turn a friendly conversation intimate by opening up with things you enjoy doing together ... 'Have you ever thought about nipple stimulation?' can be a great transition to bring up what you’re interested in exploring or what sensations you already know you like.”
You never want to pressure your partner in the head of the moment, right? So, it's important to have these initial conversations outside the bedroom, Play says. Don’t get discouraged if your partner is not up to it immediately—trying any new sex act takes time! You can always try playing with your nipples during masturbation .
Let's say you're the one doing nipple play on your partner. Once you're both in the mood, start by rubbing or sucking on your partner's nips. “When sucking, make sure to get the whole areola in your mouth; this is how oxytocin is produced and oxytocin buildup in the system is a major contributing factor in orgasm,” Play says. “If you want your partner to really feel good, this should NOT be a fly-by-night, hit-and-run experience. You really need to devote time to warming up this area, building pleasure, and then riding the rolling waves of pleasure that can come from this experience.”
Though nipples have hundreds of nerve endings, the sensitivity of each bud depends on the person, Sparks says. Don't expect that you or your partner will immediately achieve the big O after a few seconds of nipple-sucking—or at all! Maybe it's something you end up pairing with other sex acts to enhance your overall pleasure.
You can always take nipple play up a notch by introducing sex toys! Certain sex toys , such as nipple suckers, magnetic orbs (yeah, that’s a thing), and nipple clamps , can feel great on the nips and tap into your kinkier side. According to play, massaging the nipples with hot oil can also feel really good.
If you're playing with a partner, talk to them about which accessories they might want to bring into the bedroom. “ Are they more of a sub and want to be tortured by you putting nipple clamps on them and telling them you don’t care if it hurts (safeword discussed first of course)?,” Plays says. “Or are they the sensual type that wants to be brushed all over with a feather and then slowly have you run your fingers ever so gently over the nipples?”
Remember, you probably won't be a nipple play wizard the first time you try it out. Whether you're doing it on yourself or with a partner, it's important to pay attention to the specific sensations associated with each new move, and adjusting your tactics as needed. Play refers to this process as "pleasure calibration." "Read the signs and signals of your partner and calibrate to their unique body and feedback style," he says, noting that you should do this for every every sexual act.
And as always, check in throughout the sex session to make sure you're both totally cool with everything that's going down.
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Who said intercourse was just a bottom-half ordeal?
Never underestimate the power of nipple play—it rarely disappoints.
“We’re so programmed to think the pelvic zone is best for sex,” explains Holly Richmond , PhD, a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist, but there are so many benefits to bringing in other areas—namely your breasts—to the pants party. Research shows that stimulating multiple body areas at once—for example, your clitoris, cervix, and yes, nipples—lights up an area of the brain that heightens all of the individual sensations you feel. The result? A stronger, more colorful orgasm.
What's more, orgasming vaginally isn’t a breeze for everyone. If you’re dealing with a painful condition (such as endometriosis), heaps of stress, or trauma, showing love to your nipples—a major erogenous zone covered in super-sensitive nerve endings—can be a preferred way to get off. You can also nix the performance pressure that often comes with fixating on what's between your legs, says Richmond. Twisting, rubbing, clamping, pulling, or nibbling (by a partner, of course) your nipples can even lead to a standalone nipple orgasm that won't disappoint. Trouble in the O department or not, nipple play during sex is your chance to double your pleasure and your fun.
Sounds like your kinda romp? Thought so. Read on for the best sex positions for nipple play, to treat your girls like the stars that they are. They're so much more than a supporting role—now show 'em some love.
This position is a prime choice if you want to get a good rub on your nipples, says Richmond. When you touch your chest to you partner's, your nipples will graze theirs as you thrust or grind on their lap. Working with a height difference ? No problem. Take advantage of it by having your partner suck on your nipples if their face meets up with your chest instead.
Do It: Your partner sits on a chair or the edge of the bed; you face them, seated on their lap.
If you haven't banked on a rear-entry sex position and having your partner reach around to play with your nipples, you've been missing out. Next time you give it a go, have your partner gently flick your nipples or massage them with oil or lube.
Do It: Get on all fours, then have your partner kneel behind you, with their upper body straight up or slightly draped over you.
"Side-lying positions are great for nipple play," says Richmond. For this move in particular, she suggests reaching down and stimulating your own nipples. You might even experiment with temperature by rubbing ice on your nips, or keep it simple by gently twisting them. And if your partner can handle multiple duties at once, since you're face-to-face, tell them how you'd like them to take over.
Do It: Lie on your left side; your partner kneels, straddling your left leg and curling your right leg around their right side.
If you want to stimulate your nipples but also want to focus on other erogenous zones at the same time, give the G-Whiz a whirl. How, you ask? Grab some nipple clamps and latch them on so you can reach down and stimulate your clitoris with your hands instead.
Do It: Lie back with your legs resting on each of your partner's shoulders.
Since this position frees up your hands, take the opportunity to get a little more adventurous. Try attaching tape to your nipples and peeling it off as your arousal starts to surge. Or to show your partner's nipples some love, reach down and stimulate theirs with a feather tickler.
Do It: You kneel on top, pushing off your partner's chest and sliding up and down their thighs. You can relieve some of your weight from their pelvis by leaning back and supporting yourself on their thighs.
This one's a little advanced, Richmond warns. But if you can handle it, opt for The Caboose so you and your partner stimulate your own nipples.
If solo stuff isn't for you two, have your partner reach around and lightly graze their fingernails against your nipples instead. They might even reach down to stimulate your clitoris with one hand and your nips with the other. Just make sure you're both leaning up against a headboard or wall so you can keep your balance.
Do It: They sit on a bed or a chair; you back yourself into their lap and spoon each other while seated.
This is a move you can whip out any time of the day, but it's a great one for morning sex. If you and your partner are just waking up but want to get it on before work, start off with some nipple play to get each other going. Reach around to grab onto your partner's nipple and help get them in the mood for the main event. It's an incredible male erogenous zone , too.
Do It: Both of you lie on your sides, facing the same direction. You bring your knees up slightly while your partner slides up behind you.
Take this position to a chair so you can both lean back on something and use your hands, well, everywhere. A few ideas: Use one hand to stimulate your partner's perineum, the area between their penis and anus (or their clitoris, if your partner is female) with one hand, and use the other to stimulate their nipples or your own. You could also have your partner massage one or both breasts as you ride them. This position promises a whole medley of pleasure that will have you coming back to this move again and again.
Do It: Your partner sits on the edge of the bed and you sit on them, facing away.
Richmond's all about this position, since you and your partner can easily play with each other's nipples simultaneously with your free hands. Plus, if you bring your chests close enough, the movement from grinding or thrusting will cause your nipples to rub against your partner's, freeing up your hands. That allows you to run your fingers through your partner's hair or pull them in for a kiss.
Do It: While you lie on your back, raise your right leg so they can position their body between your legs at a 90-degree angle and enter you. Your legs will form the tines of a spork.
The Table Top position guarantees nipple play will be exactly what you want, since it's ideal for pleasuring yourself. While your partner's busy with your other half, go crazy on top. Use a small vibrator on your nipples , clamp them, or warm them up with some heated oil to make the massaging a little slicker. So. Many. Options.
Do It: You don’t have to do this one on a table—any surface that hits your partner at crotch height will do. Have them enter you or grind against you while you’re sitting or lying at the edge of a table, counter, or maybe even your bed.
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Did we mention that nipple orgasms are a thing?!
It's a truth universally acknowledged that breasts are incredibly awesome. Whether they're big or small, perky or slightly saggy, or real or surgically enhanced, boobs are a lot of fun to look at—not to mention touch. So you probably want to know how to play with them in a way that's pleasurable for both you and your partner.
Luckily, there's a very simple answer to this question: just ask your partner what they like! Lots of people really, really enjoy breast play. There's even some evidence to suggest that a few lucky folks can have an orgasm from nipple stimulation alone . The nipples have a ton of nerve endings, and studies have shown that the nerve endings in the nipples stimulate the same part of the brain as the clitoris does: the genital-cortex. The nipples, brain, and genitals actually end up "talking to each other" during nipple play, using the spinal cord as a messenger system.
Here is an example of how that conversation definitely goes. This is 100% science here, folks:
Stimulated nipple to the brain: DAMN, GURL, THAT IS NICE! Brain to nipple: Oh, yeah, gurl, you like that? Nipple to brain: Yeah, gurl. This is AMAZIN’!!! Brain to nipple: That’s rad, gurl! That’s sexual. We are here for that! Brain to genitals: Hey, gurl. You are experiencing positive sexual touch, mk? Genitals to brain: Oh, ok, gurl. I’ll start that sexual response cycle. Brain to genitals: Awesome, gurl. I am having a great time, too. Let’s party.
And thus, the clitoris becomes engorged, the labia swell, and the vagina becomes lubricated. In some instances, vulva-owners can get that indirect genital stimulation so fired up that they climax from nip-play alone. I’m really glad the brain has a phone line, aren’t you?
In a 2006 study published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine—kinda old, we know, but there hasn’t been that much boob research conducted in the past 14 years—81.5% of women reported that breast and nipple stimulation causes or enhances sexual arousal. That being said, 7.2% of women said breast and nipple stimulation decreased their arousal, so once again, you should probably check in with your partner to find out what they like.
And even if your partner does want you to play with their breasts, you should handle them with care: While one person might like to be lightly bitten, another may find that kinda painful. And please, don’t smack them or squeeze them with all your might, like you see in porn—unless your partner specifically tells you they're into rougher boob play and want you to do those things.
Here are a few general tips for mastering your partner's pleasure zones , as well as some moves you'd probably be better off avoiding.
According to a UCLA study, women who are unhappy with their breast size are 16 times more likely to hide their breasts during sex. Which is a bummer, because you don't just want to see your partner's breasts—you also want them to feel safe and secure and turned-on.
It might help to compliment your partner's breasts early in foreplay . “Comment on her high responsiveness to stimulation,” says Patti Britton, Ph.D., a clinical sexologist (i.e., "your nipples are so hard right now.") Alternatively, something as simple as "Oh, wow, you have amazing boobs" could be just the confidence boost your mate needs.
As Debby Herbenick, PhD, previously explained to Men's Health , nipples vary widely in terms of sensitivity , so if you're not quite sure what your partner likes, you need to work your way up to nipple stimulation. Start off by gently stroking or massaging the tops, bottoms, and sides of their breasts. Alternate with lightly kissing their neck, earlobes, and collarbone. That'll help build anticipation and leave them wanting more.
When you feel like your partner is ready—and if they're making a lot of noise or writhing around with pleasure, they're probably ready—move onto the areola, the dark-colored circle that surrounds the nipple, which is actually more sensitive than the nipple itself. Focus especially on the upper quadrant of the breast, between 10 and 2 o’clock. It’s the most sensitive part of the bull’s-eye. Gently stroke the nipple and circle the areola with a finger, or circle the nipple with your thumb and forefinger.
If your partner seems to be enjoying things, use your tongue to
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