Nipples Clamped
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Nipples Clamped
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I worked as an office manager once, and it was my job to open and sort all of the mail, including packages. It was a pretty boring job for the most part, but every now and then there would be a wave of excitement when my boss’s crazy ex-wife would come in and scream at him in front of all of his employees.
So I’m doing my mail duties when an odd looking package arrives for my boss, the CEO of the company. I open it as part of the standard office procedure. I pull out some packing materials, then an item wrapped in plastic wrap.
What is this? I think to myself. Oh, a leash. Must be a leash for his dog. What’s with the metal things? This is kind of weird, I think, so let’s pull out the invoice:
“Dog collar with attached nipple clamps.”
Dogs don’t need nipple clamps, so what the shit.
I throw everything back into the box as if *I’M* the one who has just committed some horrible sin against nature. I hop onto my computer and pull up messenger and message my boyfriend. “QUICK. I NEED TO KNOW HOW TO TAPE UP A PACKAGE AND MAKE IT LOOK LIKE IT WAS NEVER OPENED.”
Tons of totally rational and then totally fucked up explanations are going through my head. Halloween is coming up soon, maybe this is for a crazy party. Or maybe my boss is just seriously kinky and doesn’t have the foresight to send these types of packages TO HIS HOUSE. I got mental images, playbacks – not pretty.
I carefully tape up the box and pack it neatly. Voila! It looks as though it was never opened! No one will touch this stuff! I sneak it into his office and put it on his desk with the rest of his mail.
So for weeks, I can’t make eye contact with my boss, and at one point, I almost greeted him with a “Good Morning, Mr. Nipple Clamps” because that’s all that would go through my head when he walked in the door.
We go out on a business trip and at dinner, he tells us about how an old secretary is sending packages to his work and picking them up from his office, and he’s DYING to know what’s in them, but he never opens them.
Having had like 4 glasses of wine, I raise my hand.
“I know what’s in them,” I say, my face turning more purple than the merlot I’m drinking.
I have everyone’s attention now, and at this amazing restaurant in downtown Chicago, I blurt out, way too loudly, “NIPPLE CLAMPS!”
I tell them the story of the accidentally opened package. (We found out what the deal was weeks later because it turns out this lady who used to work for him was running a sex service behind her family’s back and making good money at it, but she couldn’t let her family know she was a dominatrix for hire so she had the boxes sent to her old work. How bad would that screw your teen daughter up, anyway?)
After I tell the table, including investors and business associates (glug glug glug) about how horrified I was and how deftly I re-taped the package to look as though it had never been tampered with, and how proud I was of my handiwork, the table falls silent.
So this one guy looks at my boss and says, “Your secretary has been walking around for weeks thinking you’re a sick pervy bastard! She must have been terrified to fly out here to Chicago with you!”
Hey man, sometimes I was paid in wine. Nipple clamps or no nipple clamps, that’s a good deal.
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Marissa Gainsburg
Marissa Gainsburg is the Features Director at Women's Health, where she oversees the magazine's news-meets-trends Warm Up section and Love & Life section.
Gabrielle Kassel
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer.
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They'll change your sex game for good.
It turns out your nipples are an underrated (a.k.a. waaay underutilized) erogenous zone. Part of the problem is that nipples often need more exciting stimulation: the element of surprise, courtesy of a partner's unpredictable touch, a hint of tolerable pain, than other areas of the body. Because despite being sensitive, they're not designed for orgasm (like, say, your clit ).
Full of up to 2,000 nerve endings each (!), these buds are very receptive to sensation, says longtime sex educator Searah Deysach, owner of Early to Bed , a pleasure-product company in Chicago. For some, a little nipple action can go a long way, sending an electrical wave of pleasure down to their genitals. Heck, for some people, nipple stimulation can lead to a very unique but powerful orgasm of its own , explains Holly Richmond, PhD , a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist.
Even if you don't spend enough time on your top-half to nipple-gasm, showing your nips TLC is a seriously effective arousal tool. “We view nipples as an erotic, sexual part of the body, so even just emotionally, having them played with can feel sexy and arousing,” says Deysach.
So why are these hotspots so often ignored? You might not be bringing in the proper backup to help. That’s where this list of nipple toys comes in. While, a tongue, a finger, and a set of **mindful** teeth might do the trick, the below 16 best nipple toys—from BDSM -inspired nipple clamps and suckers to vibrators and ticklers—are sure to take you and your nips all the way.
These little pink guys may look like toddler toys, but appearances can be deceiving. The tube-like end is designed to fit over your nips. Once in place, “twist and turn the floral tops to increase the suction and create a more intense feeling,” says Taylor Sparks, erotic educator and founder of Organic Loven , the largest BIPOC-owned online intimacy. Talk about turning the heat up!
Enjoy tongue flicks to your nips during partnered play? With the Aria Tongue Vibe, you can get that sensation during solo sex, too. “This little vibe has a flickering, vibrating bit that can feel like a lover caressing your nipples with a darting, firm tongue,” says Deysach. *Orders two*.
Pain-seekers, this option is for you! A modern take on an ancient pinching technique, you position one, two, or three of these bad boys around the edge of the nipple, then slowly slide the rings inward to create increased pressure, explains Sparks.
“The visual display is stunning and the sensation is deliciously painful, and/or pleasurable.” Best part: These can also be used on your clitoris or labia, too.
Teasing the line between fashion and sex toy, these cute clamps sport faux fur poms. “Try running the poms up and down your partner’s body for some light sensation play, then attach the clamps for a sexy, more intense sensation,” says Deysach. Cheers to multi-functional nipple toys!
Nipple balm does to your nipples what lip balm does to your pout. But what sets this special Nip Zip balm apart is that it contains peppermint oil and cinnamon oil, which Sparks says, “gives you the coolest tingling feeling on the nipples.”
To use, massage a thimble's worth into each hotspot, then wait two minutes. “When your partner gives your nipples the gentlest blow, lick or kiss, you’ll experience a strong and pleasurable sensation,” she says. (And yes, the balm is safe to ingest in small amounts).
Okay, so technically this is an oral-simulation vibrator for your clitoris, but guess what? The suctioning hole fits perfectly around nipples, too. This vaginal-nipple hybrid toy uses pressure-wave technology to re-create the feeling of a partner sucking on your skin, so you can orgasm fast . Not to mention, this toy has racked up dozens of glowing reviews on Amazon—and costs a fraction of the price of more fancy suctioning vibes.
Ever tried cupping for your muscles? Nipple suckers work similarly, by suctioning to your nips to amp circulation and sensitivity. But instead of relaxed muscles, you get more turned on—the color of the suckers even change to show you (and your partner) just that.
Nipple clamps pinch your nips (you can adjust how hard) in order to increase blood flow and sensitivity. But who said clamps can't be pretty? This nickel-free set comes in luxe rose gold, and the double-tiered design adds weight for even more stimulation.
These might look like kegel balls , but they're actually a set of magnetic orbs. You put one on each side of your nipple, and the magnetic pull creates pressure to increase blood flow. Removing them to "free" your nipple heightens its sensitivity, too.
The Partner Multifun from Satisfyer does exactly what it says: It brings fun to multiple areas of the body, for you and your partner. Equipped with three powerful motors (including one in each tip), the flexible vibrator works especially well on nipples. Why? You can squeeze the two pointed tips against your nips for pressure all while the buzzing gets them hot and hard. Might as well move this baby downtown when you're done...
You could use a vibrator on your nipples—or you could use an actual vibrating nipple toy. This set of clamps has a mini (3 inch!) bullet vibrator on each piece. Bonus: They're totally waterproof , so you can get splashy anywhere.
The Vesper isn't just a sex-toy fave because of its multifunctional design (it's a sleek vibrator disguised as a rose gold necklace). It also falls at the perfect length to tease your nipples, making secret under-the-shirt play so easy and fun. Slip the vibe off and circle the pointed tip around your nips to take things up a notch, when you're ready to move to a more, er, private spot.
Like the contrast of a little "pain" with a lot of pleasure? These guys are for you. With comfortable rubber-gripped clamps to tease your nipples and feathered puffs to tickle your breasts, they're a one-stop shop for better boob play. Plus, they look really sexy on...
Don't be freaked by this nipple toy: It's much less scary than it appears. For anyone who likes the "hurts so good" sensation (think: biting), the spiky pinwheel delivers the most exceptional experience. Roll it around and over your nipples, starting gently and increasing in pressure as you get more (and more) excited.
This alternative to traditional nipple clamps is one worth trying: Instead of pinching your nipple via a metal or rubber clip, you position your nipple between the vibrating base and the glass bead, then push the bead up to squeeze your nip, lasso-style.
Not only are these nipple clamps fun to look at (and play with), but they're also adjustable, so you can choose the most comfortable fit for you and your one-of-a-kind nips.
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