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Nikki Rhodes is a passionate advocate for authentic relating. She believes that a positive sexual ed...
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God I love how soft we are as women. How bountiful we are in our bounciness. How full we actually are in our ‘not-enough-ness’.
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And God I love men who want to film this magic. Who want to celebrate this fullness, this softness, this expansion. Men, who want BIG women. Women who are changing the game. Women who are birthing the new generation, women who are wearing the fucking bikini and pulling the finger at society’s constrictions about the ‘perfect body’.
HOW TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP ALIVE WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS
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You know one of the most important factors regarding whether or not your children will grow up to have healthy, fulfilling intimate relationships, is whether or not they were demonstrated to them by YOU. ✨
That’s right. How you love, how comfortable you are in your own body and how you communicate your desires are having huge effects on your children and their future intimate relationships.
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So, light that fire! Don’t be afraid to show up for love in front of your kids and prioritise your need for fulfilment on all levels as a human. Stay connected and be vulnerable. Show them that love is best enjoyed when it is freely allowed to flourish, where mistakes can be made, make ups happen, communication continues to improve and everyone is dedicated to growing and learning.
Four years ago today I dreamt that I was swimming in a deep lake. As I looked up, I saw a large planet coming towards me at speed. It was fiery orange and as it approached it cast a huge shadow over myself and the rest of Earth. I had a choice. I could run away into the hustle of the city or I could stay where I was and allow myself to feel the full force of the collision. I decided to remain still as it burst into me, shattering every cell and awakening a deeper knowing that I had subconsciously drowned down within, wishing it to silence. The impact woke me and I sat up in bed. Within 6 months, I had quit my job and left my marriage.
Three years ago today, I was free. Every aspect of my existence was in limbo but I was free. I was spending nights in my car, I had lost many friends and family were struggling with my decision to leave so suddenly when everything had seemed perfect from the outside, but I was free. I had met hundreds of new people dedicated to transformation and change and my own purpose was becoming clearer by the day. I committed to paying my husband for the house for the sake of my three girls, started two new businesses and committed to speaking up, showing up and taking space.
Two years ago today I climbed the Himalayas in my jandals Kiwi style with my beloved laughing alongside me. We slept in a tent on top of a freezing mountain looking back at the year that had been. We rented out our bedroom on Airbnb and slept on the deck to pay for a Tantra training in India. In many ways we acted like complete besotted teenagers and in other ways, we surprised ourselves with our dedication to our vision and natural business acumen. Three Festivals in, 9 transformational retreats and numerous workshops later, nothing felt certain and yet everything felt possible.
One year ago today life had started to settle. The highs of the past three years were balanced with the peace of landing back on Earth, as final divorce settlements were finalised, last payments were made and childcare arrangements were discussed. Every decision was made by my ex husband and I. No lawyers. No mediators. No disagreements even. I had witnessed the disgraceful behaviour of parting couples, as each tries to claim couches and fridges as if their lives depended on it. With full determination to be an example to our children for how loving separation can be and as a testimony to our 15 years of beautiful relating, we untangled each and every thread that once bound us. The process was deeply sad and stunningly beautiful all in one.
And today, on my 34th birthday, I feel, more than ever before, that I am on the cusp of whatever I choose next. That I am my own creator. That what I choose will manifest. That wake ups can come when you’re sleeping. That there’ll be times when no one understands what you’re doing and that this is not permission to stop doing what you know you must continue doing. That the future is an illusion, as is any forced vision of what that future must look like. That no matter how fast you run away from what you know to be true, it’s just far better to slow down, turn around and face it sooner rather than later.
Mostly, that you can always start again.
Always.
No matter your age. No matter how long you’ve been together. No matter the age of your children. No matter the amount of joint assets. No matter how scary stepping out of your current situation feels.
You can always start again.
I was working with a client recently who told me of an experience she had as a child at school. She was running around with a bunch of other children on the playground when one of them grabbed her. A group of about 3 or 4 children then began to tie her to one of the poles in the playground with invisible rope. She remembers struggling to get free but finding herself unable to move. Even though it was invisible rope and a mere children's game, she found herself bound.
2020, in … many ways, felt like this situation. A series of moments and events where clarity was submerged under an invisible sheath and only later cognisance was revealed. I was invited to unbind myself from stories, patterns and dynamics that were no longer serving yet I remained under their bond long after the ropes were removed, only to find that there were never any ropes.
Get your tickets and make a donation to Youthline here: http://nzyogaday.co.nz/tickets.html 🧘🏽 ✨
Get your tickets and make a donation to Youthline here: http://nzyogaday.co.nz/tickets.html 🧘🏽 ✨
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