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My husband and I have a fairly traditional marriage. I stay home with the kids and he goes out into the world and “slays dragons.” (Well, he works for the local gas and water company, but “slays dragons” sounds more edgy, doesn’t it?) We are your typical chaotic family.
On any given day, I’m breaking up sibling squabbles, staring into my pantry to see if the “dinner fairy” has again overlooked me, and trying to tame the calendar. Oh, I also clean up the dog poop. Besides his regular job, my husband juggles his fair share of home responsibilities, too — cars, lawns, broken stuff, clogged pipes and precarious “about to fall” tree limbs. In addition to all this, we care for two elderly family members.
My husband and I are Christians and therefore I believe that it is my calling to be a “submissive” wife. So, what does submission look like for me? I am submissive in that while my husband and I openly discuss all major decisions that impact our family, I ultimately yield to his decisions. We agree on some things; we disagree on others. That’s marriage, but when it comes down to deciding time, I defer to him.
Certainly submission does not mean going against what I believe is right or moral. For example, if a husband tells his wife she should “steal,” then she would be completely justified in not submitting to him. And submission absolutely does not mean a woman should overlook abuse (either of herself or her children).
But I do seek my husband’s advice and opinion and defer to him on many decisions. I believe that he is the head of the house and I respect his leadership role. This isn’t hard for me. I am fortunate to have a husband who “loves his wife as Christ loved the church,” which is part of a verse from the Bible (Ephesians 5:21-32) that instructs husbands to care for their wives.
So, despite what many people think, submission for me is not so hard. The life of a submissive wife is a daily reality for many Christian couples. And I wouldn’t exchange roles for anything. In fact, our traditional roles and Christian values have led to a great sex life.
So what does this have to do with sex?
Let me clarify that when I say “submission” in regards to sexual intimacy, I am not talking about a wife automatically doing whatever her husband wants sexually, especially if what he wants flies in the face of what the Bible commands. For example, if your husband wants to have a threesome or wants you to view pornography, this would be adulterous, which certainly is outside the bounds of God’s design for sex.
If, on the other hand, your husband simply wants to try a new position or add some variety, I urge you to not instantly say “no” without some legitimate discussion and prayer.
The Christian model for a marriage encourages women to be modest, but that doesn’t inhibit us from sexual expression with our husbands. In fact, in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, God says that husbands and wives should not withhold their bodies from each other. Sexual intimacy is a mutually-shared endeavor, where both the husband and wife bear responsibility. And let’s not forget, orgasms were designed by God. And orgasms feel really, really good.
Odds are that because the clitoris is a bit less predictable than the penis, your husband is going to need your help in understanding what it is going to take to make you climax. This is where sexual confidence can strengthen your marriage. You both need to learn with each other and from each other what arousal looks like for each of you.
Because I submit to my husband, I feel confident in his care and love and this gives me sexual confidence as well. We have a mutual sense of safety and trust that can’t help but lead to great sex. I believe God gives good gifts to married couples to be savored and enjoyed, not ignored and treated carelessly. My husband and I do enjoy a tremendously satisfying sex life, because we have grown in our sexual confidence and because we are secure in our roles for our marriage.
Another way that submissiveness outside of bed lends itself well in bed is that my husband and I have grown in our vulnerability. Without a doubt, because I am a submissive wife and my husband “loves me as Christ loved the church,” we have really learned to listen to each other with respect. This equips us to be able to say what we like sexually and to really listen to one another.
We have a foundation that allows us to be able to say when we make love, “I like it when you (fill in the blank with random exciting sexual details).” It’s so reassuring to have that kind of vulnerability that leads to great sex!
All too often, people think that a good Christian wife isn’t sexually confident; however, following the traditional plan for marriage that God has outlined in the Bible has given me an immense confidence not only in bed, but in my husband’s love and care for me.
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Vulnerable teenage sex workers can be seen dressing themselves up before a busy night's work in the country's capital Manila
STARK images show life inside a seedy brothel in the Philippines capital of Manila - where heavily pregnant women made up some of the roughly 50 sex workers used by mainly foreign clients.
Prostitutes as young as 17 lived in the the basic living quarters of the sex den and can be seen getting dressed-up before a busy night's work.
These images, taken in the nineties, show the basic living quarters and washing facilities of the building where most of the women lived and worked.
The prostitutes would tend to sleep until the late afternoon before getting up to spends hours getting themselves ready.
Once dressed they would wait for customers in a brightly lit room with red sofas.
When they were chosen by a client they would change from an evening dress into something less formal, before leaving to go off to a hotel or to the client's house.
Pregnant women were heavily desirable among potential customers and some young mothers had to bring their kids in to be looked after while they worked.
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Charise Thompson, then 23, was abducted, beaten, tortured and raped by a Mexican gang as she drove home in Texas - now she is bravely speaking out about her ordeal to combat the 'stigma' of sex attacks
CHANGING a flat tyre at the side of the road as her little boy slept in the car, Charise Thompson was abducted by thugs who tortured, beat and gang-raped her in an act of unimaginable brutality - even drilling into her ankles in an attempt to hang her upside down 'like an animal'.
Left for dead in a ditch, the brave mum fought to survive, crawling two-and-a-half miles to get back to four-year-old James.
Finally, after desperately crawling on her elbows for hours, dragging her broken legs and with devastating internal injuries, she found help. Mercifully her son was discovered unhurt and still sleeping in the back of the car in Texas.
Incredibly, Charise, then 23, survived after being pumped with 31 units of blood.
Now, nearly 40 years on, she has bravely waived her anonymity to speak exclusively about her ordeal for the first time to The Sun Online in a bid to tackle the "stigma" surrounding sex attacks.
She says she had to undergo emergency operations, spent four months in hospital and needed a hysterectomy following the sadistic gang-rape in November 1981.
In a heartbreaking twist, her son spent years quietly believing his own dad - her ex-husband - was to blame after he found a Polaroid snap of his mum's battered and bloodied face in her jewellery box.
James, now 42, was later told about the real culprits. However, 38 years on, the sex beasts who nearly killed Charise have yet to be tracked down and brought to justice.
"They beat and tortured me with their fists, their boots and a tyre iron, tied me to the bumper of the truck and dragged me, then ran over me with the truck," Charise, now 61, recalls.
"They tried to drill holes in my ankles and had a gambrel [a rod or hook used to suspend animal carcasses] they were apparently going to hang me on, like a slaughtered animal, but they couldn't get the drill all the way through either ankle.
"They stabbed me with a knife, repeatedly raped me and used the tire iron, telling me that they were the last thing I would ever see.
"I was left torn open, my insides were partly exposed, and I had multiple stab wounds."
Charise, now married to husband, Chris, 73, had been driving back home with James after spending the Thanksgiving holiday with her mum when she stopped to change a tyre.
But standing on the side of Highway 59, between Freer and Laredo in Texas, she was suddenly surrounded by the gang of six, bundled into a truck and driven away from the scene.
"We drove quite a way, I was being hit and shoved down on the back floor," she tells us.
"All I could think about was my son. When I got out to change the flat tyre, he was sound asleep in the back seat and I was terrified that he was being left alone on the side of the highway."

Looking back, Charise is grateful to have been taken away from the scene - it meant her little boy didn't witness her being brutally beaten, assaulted and left for dead.
"After the last time I was hit in the head with the tire iron, I was perfectly still and tried to not even breathe," recalls the mum, who has since moved to Wyoming.
"I didn't understand much Spanish but heard one of them say 'ella esta muerta', or 'she's dead'. They picked me up and threw me into a drainage ditch, like trash.
"I laid there a long time after I heard the truck drive away, in fear they might return. Then I knew I had to get help to my son because I feared they'd go back to my car."
With no idea where she was, Charise began crawling across the ground. She came across what looked like a dirt path - and despite her injuries, desperately tried to follow it.
"I'd crawl a little and then, sure I couldn't go on, I'd close my eyes and pray for death to come.
"But then I'd see my son's face and have to get back up and crawl some more," she says.
Hours later, the courageous mum found what she'd been looking for.

"The first person I came across was a ranch hand at a small outbuilding," she tells us.
"He didn't have a phone and had to go up to the main house to call for help. The ranch owner and his wife came down to where I was and waited with me until the police and ambulance got there."
When she arrived at hospital, bleeding heavily with 14 broken bones and more than half of her teeth knocked out, Charise says doctors told police that she likely wouldn't make it.
She has 'very little memory' of her first few weeks in hospital, as she received more than 30 units of blood and underwent emergency procedures on her face and to repair her devastating internal injuries.
But as medics worked to save her, there was one bit of positive news - James was safe.
"When the police got to my car, it was still locked and my son was asleep in the back seat," Charise says.
"Once I knew he was safe, I knew relief I'd never known before.
"I had really good friends that took him in and took really good care of him."
The mum spent more than four months in hospital before being transferred to a physical rehabilitation centre and, eventually, treated with outpatient therapy.
"I ended up having to have a complete hysterectomy due to complications with the reconstructive surgery, and female organs that could not work properly," she says.
"The police called it a 'sadistic gang-rape'.

But despite Charise getting "clear views" of all her attackers and even the licence plate of the truck, which she says was from Mexico, only one suspect was ever tracked down.
"I heard that one was arrested a few months after the attack, but because of a clerical error he was released on an own recognisance [no-cost bail] and never seen again," she claims.
"I heard that there were other victims of this gang in Mexico but no other survivors."
In the weeks after returning home, Charise lived in fear, seeing the thugs' faces in every crowd.
Soon after, she moved away from the area, taking with her a single picture of her injuries - the only one she has of the aftermath of the attack, which was taken by authorities.
She kept the Polaroid image in the bottom of her jewellery box - where unbeknown to her, it was discovered by James years later as he looked for something in her bedroom.
"He never said a word to me, but spent all those years thinking that is was his birth father that had done that," says the mum, who waited till her son was an adult to tell him about the attack.
"I can't imagine what that must have been like for him."
After moving to another part of Texas, Charise started attending the Crisis Center - which helps people who have suffered sexual violence - and realised she didn't have to be a victim.
Instead, she discovered, she could become a survivor.
"It wasn't long before I knew I had done just that," she says.
"You don't forget, but you do learn to move on."
The mum volunteered for the centre, then, after moving to Wyoming, began working as a victim advocate with the protection service Safehouse, helping other rape and violence victims.

"It was in helping others to make that transition from victim to survivor that I found the very best help for me and my true healing," she tells us.
Today, she is determined to bring the subject of sex attacks "out of the darkness" and to "remove the stigma from women", who she says may be made to feel guilty for what happened to them.
"When I was in the ambulance, I remember the police officer that rode in there with me ask me, 'What I had done to make them so mad'? Like it was my fault," she says.
"I overheard a doctor tell another police officer at the hospital that I probably wouldn't make it and the police officer said, 'It's just as well ... who would want her now'? Like it lessened the person that I was."
But despite having survived her ordeal, Charise is still suffering from its effects on her health - including painful bones, and problems with both her thyroid and intestines.
She also contracted Hepatitis C from her blood transfusions, leaving her with liver damage.
However, she tells us, there is "life after rape".
"There's happy, fulfilling, beautiful life," she says.
"But that you have to tell someone - a parent, police, counsellor, friend. You have to talk about it and bring it out into the open before you can start to deal with what happened to you and to heal."
She adds: "I am on morphine for the constant pain, but this life is amazing and worth every bit we have to go through to keep it."
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©News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. "The Sun", "Sun", "Sun Online" are registered trademarks or trade names of News Group Newspapers Limited. This service is provided on News Group Newspapers' Limited's Standard Terms and Conditions in accordance with our Privacy & Cookie Policy . To inquire about a licence to reproduce material, visit our Syndication site. View our online Press Pack. For other inquiries, Contact Us . To see all content on The Sun, please use the Site Map. The Sun website is regulated by the Independent Press Standards Organisation (IPSO)
Our journalists strive for accuracy but on occasion we make mistakes. For further details of our complaints policy and to make a complaint please click this link: thesun.co.uk/editorial-complaints/

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