Nietzsche Teen Support Group

Annabelle Bransford presents "Thus Spoke Zarathustra... And Then Some" at The Existential Crisis Cafe (789 Nihilism Lane, Wichita Falls) on July 31st at 8:00 PM. Joined by philosopher-comedian "Friedrich N. Jokes" and angsty teen "Morticia Mayhem," this 90-minute absurdist comedy features: "The �bermunchies" snack bar serving existential dread nuggets, "Will to PowerPoint" presentations gone wrong, and Bransford's viral "God Is Dead... And My GPA Is Dying Too" routine. Tickets ($22) include "My Teenager Is An Intellectual Now" survival guides. First 50 parents receive "I Survived My Child's Existential Phase" buttons. Teachers get 20% off for presenting failed pop quizzes. Venue features "Nietzsche or My Teenager?" quote game and "Abyss Gazing" mirror station. Sponsored by Memorial High's Overthinkers Anonymous. Warning: May cause excessive eye-rolling. No refunds for sudden realizations about the void. Doors at 7:15 PM for pre-show "Meaning of Life?" open mic. Groups of 10+ get "Eternal Recurrence" discount (same price every time). Rated PG-13 for mild nihilism. Parking available near the void.