Nice Big Cock
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Almara Abgarian Wednesday 25 Apr 2018 10:00 am
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Bent, curved, thick, slim, big head, small head, circumcised or not circumcised — when it comes to penises, there’s plenty of variety to be enjoyed.
And that’s without even touching on balls, shades and veins.
The saying goes, it’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.
Now, while I appreciate phalluses of all kinds, let’s be honest, some are more favourable than others.
You’ll struggle to find a woman declaring her love for the micro-penis .
In a recent study by Body Logic MD , it was revealed that 40% of the women surveyed preferred the ‘bender’, which tilts upwards and hits the sweet spot.
Runner-up was the ‘curve’, which is similar but with a less dramatic curvature, and it can go right, left, up or down.
The ‘chode’ — an overtly plump but short cock — wasn’t mentioned, but deserves a shout-out, too. It might not always reach the deep dark depths, but it’s a filler.
What makes an exceptionally good dick? To find out, I asked 20 women to share their preferences for the perfect penis.
It seems one size does not fit all.
Nothing too veiny or threatening. Some penises just sort of angrily stare at you.
A medium size is always good, pink and plush.
Dicks without a foreskin are nice, because they look much neater.
Some foreskin appears a bit saggy and sad. Girth is more important than length — about the thickness of a deodorant can.
And yes, I was in Boots checking out sizes as I thought about this.
I love an angry cock too, you know, all twitchy and veiny.
I had a bender once and it could touch corners that no-one had reached before.
It also went down my throat at the perfect angle.
I really dislike circumcised men, because I can’t cope with the actual penis.
With a foreskin, I know what I’m doing.
Otherwise, I’m not too picky, but no-one likes a really bendy one, do they?
Recently, I experienced a very girthy straight cock.
When I say girthy, I mean girthy; the same sort of circumference as a standard-sized coke can.
It was most delicious. Girth is where it’s at.
Doesn’t matter what it’s like, as long as it does the job right.
Although, I’m personally not into the chode and a bender can help hit the right spot.
I don’t really have a type, but I like ones that get really big and hard, although aren’t necessarily big when not erect.
Not a fan of circumcised penises though.
I feel like I’ve been able to work around all the dicks I’ve had.
Taking a really big cock can make things a little slower, so I tend to prefer ones that are slightly shorter and more versatile.
If I had to pick between girth and length, it’d be girth.
Although, my ex had a thick cock and it meant we weren’t able to have spontaneous sex, unless there was lube about.
I prefer a penis that still has its foreskin, but for functional reasons, rather than aesthetic.
And I love a thick vein down the shaft, so you can see it’s really hard. Not sure why else I’d enjoy a veiny presence.
Hair is OK on the balls and pubic area, but never on the actual cock.
The style of penis I prefer is any size or shape, wielded by a confident, enthusiastic partner who is interested in my pleasure, as well as their own.
I like a thick cock, veiny and firm.
And, I hate baggy foreskins, they make cocks look smaller. I don’t mind a curve and it doesn’t have to be long, but thick and proud is perfect.
A smooth solid penis is preferable, especially as I enjoy giving head and it’s nicer to do with a pretty penis.
As for intercourse, a slight bend is good but large isn’t necessarily better.
Too much length or girth is more hassle than it’s worth.
If my fingers touch when wrapped around his member, he’d better have a few tricks up his sleeve.
I like below-average in length and don’t care about the rest at all.
In my opinion, it’s more about technique than size and shape, but long ones are incredibly painful and not pleasurable in the slightest.
I’ve dumped guys for big penises, I’m not about that life.
Non-circumcised with a slight bend and proportionate length.
Think of my penis choice as the Beast from the East: a bit rough around the edges.
I never thought that I would have a preference, but recently I hooked up with someone who still had his skin and it was just odd.
Everything from how it looked when semi-hard to ‘oh my, what am I meant to be doing with this’ during the blowjob.
Generally though, you just work with what’s in front of you, right?
Just because you prefer one thing, it doesn’t mean that another will be bad.
Certain positions become uncomfortable with larger penises and things need to go more gently, which isn’t my preference.
As long as it does the job, I’m happy.
Genitals are pretty ugly anyway, but I’d rather have one that was evenly sized.
Not too aggressive or bright purple.
I prefer average or less, I find longer ones to be painful.
And, I also really like a big head.
However, there are many exceptions. It’s more about the person, their technique and openness to try new things.
Bigger and thicker than average, and not circumcised.
As long as it stays hard and tastes clean.
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
Sex. Celebrity. Politics. With Teeth
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We're not size queens or anything but the HBO comedy Hung —about a man (Thomas Jane) with a large penis—premieres in June, and it got us thinking about big penises, the ultimate status symbol for men*. After the jump, a list of famous ones.
1.) Rasputin** The Russian mystic's disembodied penis is on display at the Russian museum of erotica in Saint Petersburg, in a tall jar, measuring 11 inches—flaccid.
2.) Liam Neeson In her autobiography No Lifeguard on Duty , Janice Dickinson wrote of her ex-boyfriend Liam Neeson, saying he had "the biggest penis of any man alive. He unzipped his pants and an Evian bottle fell out."
3.) Jay-Z Accounts from several different groupies say that Jigga is well endowed, "The biggest dick you will ever see in your life, but boring. Huge. Like a one-liter Pepsi bottle. What do you call those things? The 20-ounce bottle. It's beyond huge. It could block the sun."
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4.) John Holmes Even though he had one of the most celebrated dicks in porn history, due to its size, there's no real documentation of his measurement. His manager claimed he was 13.5 inches, but Holmes' first wife said he measured it in front of her, before he started doing adult films, and it was 10 inches.
5.) Vincent Gallo Have you ever seen Brown Bunny ? (Link NSFW)
This rumor about how large his dick was has been around for a while, and at his Friars Club memorial in 2002, his friends joked about his size.
7.) Wilt Chamberlain His nickname was "Big Dipper." He claims to have gotten a lot of use out of it.
8.) Tommy Lee Thanks to the sex tape with then-wife Pamela Anderson, everyone has seen Tommy's peen . It's guesstimated to be about 8 inches, erect. (Link NSFW)
9.) Frank Sinatra Ava Gardner once said of her ex-husband, "He only weighs 120, but 100 pounds is cock."
10.) Alexis Arquette Some years before her sex reassignment surgery, Alexis had a lot of taping to do. (Link NSFW)
10.) President Johnson "He was a lifelong exhibitionist who in college had dubbed his penis ‘ Jumbo .'"
11.) Errol Flynn He was notorious for his cock, which he once used to play the piano . A classical pianist!
12.) James Woods That's the rumor, anyway, but we don't really care to find out definitively.
13.) Colin Farrell It looks like a baby's arm . (Link NSFW)
Glamor model Jordan aka Katie Price says that her husband's penis is the size of a large television remote control.
15.) Anthony Keides The girls on Metal Sludge —a site where groupies compare notes on the rock stars they've fucked—say the Red Hot Chili Peppers front man is a "very large" penis that is "beyond gorgeous."
16.) Tony Kanal The girls on Metal Sludge also say that the No Doubt bassist—who is Gwen Stefani's ex—measures about 10 inches.
17.) Tony Danza He's uncut and long. (Link NSFW)
18.) Ray J Don't all guys with sex tapes that "leak" have big dicks? (Link NSFW)
19.) Dan Rather The report on Rather is that "he is as hung as he is handsome and intelligent."
20.) Simon Rex It's no wonder why he used to do porno.
*It is the personal opinion of the writer that big penises hurt. **This list is not compiled by size order.
Once again, a photo of a well-proportioned cock.
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Just to clarify, the rest of the slideshow will be like this. You’re definitely going to get six more images of tremendously big, veiny penises here. The next photo is going to be a giant cock, followed by another huge dick, and then another, and so forth.
You guessed it: another huge cock. Look, you had to realize what you were signing up for when you clicked on this link, right? You had to.
No, we’re not going to throw in a photo of something that isn’t a giant cock in order to be clever or misleading. You are, honest to God, getting nothing but really big cocks here. That’s it.
Your persistence is admirable, if misguided given the way the rest of the slideshow will transpire. This is the cock of the guy who made this slideshow, by the way.
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Okay, then. You’ve seen eight colossal cocks so far. Up for a ninth?
This is actually a drawing of a giant cock. A photo of a giant cock was used as a reference.
Well, there you go. You just clicked through a slideshow of giant cocks. That’s where your life is at right now. Enjoy your day.
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