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New Wife Stories
What It's Like to Be in an Open Marriage: My First Time Having a Fling
This couldn't be more perfect. I'm in Jamaica. I'm on a Jet Ski. The two arms tightly wrapped around my waist belong to a lithe, blue-eyed twentysomething woman, her wavy hair slicked to her gorgeous face with sea spray. She's squealing with excitement as we skim across the bay to a secluded cove. I turn off the engine; we both dive into the ocean, swim toward each other, and embrace as we bob in the water, then kiss. How is my wife going to react, I wonder, when I tell her about this? The truth is, in that moment I was overcome with love for my wife—the funny, stubborn, strong, and beautiful woman I'd married just 10 months earlier. The woman who'd told me, even encouraged me, to have moments like this. Without her. Yes, an open marriage—the freedom to hook up with other people when the mood struck—was Maria's idea. (She's not that much of an anomaly, actually: Almost 20 percent of women in a Glamour survey said they'd consider some form of open relationship.) Maria had first proposed the arrangement to me during our initial, long-distance phase. And by proposed, I mean that she had a one-night stand
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This couldn't be more perfect. I'm in Jamaica. I'm on a Jet Ski. The two arms tightly wrapped around my waist belong to a lithe, blue-eyed twentysomething woman, her wavy hair slicked to her gorgeous face with sea spray. She's squealing with excitement as we skim across the bay to a secluded cove. I turn off the engine; we both dive into the ocean, swim toward each other, and embrace as we bob in the water, then kiss.
How is my wife going to react, I wonder, when I tell her about this?
The truth is, in that moment I was overcome with love for my wife—the funny, stubborn, strong, and beautiful woman I'd married just 10 months earlier. The woman who'd told me, even encouraged me, to have moments like this. Without her.
Yes, an open marriage—the freedom to hook up with other people when the mood struck—was Maria's idea. (She's not that much of an anomaly, actually: Almost 20 percent of women in a Glamour survey said they'd consider some form of open relationship.) Maria had first proposed the arrangement to me during our initial, long-distance phase. And by proposed, I mean that she had a one-night stand with another guy, then guilelessly told me all about it over the phone. I was horrified by the news—but, when I was honest with myself, also incredibly turned on by her sense of adventure. Still not sure our relationship was on solid footing, though, I suggested that we table the motion. I secretly hoped that her interest in nonmonogamy would pass.
We didn't talk about it again until the following year, around the time of our wedding. Shortly before tying the knot, I told Maria that I thought our relationship was strong enough to handle some...exploration, if that's what she still wanted. Maria seemed touched by my acceptance of her ideal married scenario. But while our marriage was theoretically open from the beginning, as newlyweds neither of us was in a hurry to put that theory to the test.
A few months in, on my business trip to Jamaica, I decided there was no better place to give this thing a whirl. Maria even helped seed the idea in my mind.
"Any cute girls there?" she asked when we spoke on the phone the night I arrived.
"There is one I sort of like talking with." "Are you going to hook up with her?"
I couldn't help thinking that I was walking into a trap. "Um...would that be OK? I mean, I have no idea if she's up for it, so..."
"Sure," she chirped, and changed the subject to bank charges I'd carelessly accrued; a cold splash of domesticity as things were heating up in a tropical paradise.
In the cove, Dominique and I kissed. She had been intrigued when I told her about my untested open marriage and probed me about how this had all come about, and how I'd feel when Maria cashed in her cheating chips. The truth was, I had no idea.
But Maria would be the first of us to deal with hearing about her life partner's sexual adventures. (We'd agreed on full disclosure, as opposed to a "don't ask, don't tell" policy.) As Dominique and I feverishly groped at each other in the water, a number of factors—drowning, being arrested for public indecency—got me thinking that my first extramarital fling should be conducted in a bed. And it was.
The next morning I was scared to tell Maria. Being cool with your partner having sex with someone in theory is one thing; how she'd react once I'd crossed the Rubicon had yet to be tested. When I called I said, "So I did hook up with that girl last night."
Two Mississippis elapsed before she said anything. I grew worried.
"Really?" she said. "Um...wow!" Maria didn't push me to give her a play-by-play, so I kept the dirty details to myself.
And that was that. Dominique left for New York the next day. She and I have spo- radically kept in touch on Facebook and have even met up for drinks—just drinks— when we found ourselves in the same city.
And when I came home, I was full of gratitude for my wife. Sex with Maria was intense and intimate. My experience, and Maria's own two months later, caused us to see each other and our relationship in a new, more adventurous light.
Now Maria and I have been married for six years, and we've had several sexual trysts with other people. I believe our relationship is stronger for it: Being sexually open means there's no need to lie, no cause to repress what we want to do, and that honesty informs all other areas of our relationship. If you had told me that I would be in an open marriage before I met Maria, I wouldn't have believed you. Would this work for everyone? No. But for me and Maria, it's perfectly right.
Excerpted from our February 2014 Issue. Subscribe now for instant access to the digital edition to read more of the "My First Time..." essays.
Grant Stoddard is the author of Working Stiff: The Misadventures of an Accidental Sexpert .
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I CAUGHT my friend having sex with my wife after a drunken night out together.
I’m 36 and my wife’s 34. We’ve been married for nine years and have a daughter aged seven.
We went out with friends one night and a few of them came back for a nightcap.
My wife had been drinking quite heavily. She started nodding off so I sent her to bed. Our friends drifted off home, apart from one, an old friend of mine from school. He went to the bathroom while I started to tidy up. I suddenly heard a banging noise coming from my bedroom.
I opened the door to our room and saw my friend having sex, lying on top of my wife’s naked, unconscious body.
My wife’s arms were around him. I shouted at him to get off. My wife opened her eyes and they rolled back in her head.
I shouted again and my wife said to my friend, “You’d better stop.” He slowly got up and started to get dressed. He then walked out of the bedroom apologising. He said he didn’t know what had happened.
My wife couldn’t remember much the next day. She is embarrassed and ashamed but doesn’t want to go to the police.
She insists that nothing is going on between them. Meanwhile, I’m full of anger and rage.
DEIDRE SAYS: You’re shocked, furious and feel betrayed, and you can’t just brush this under the carpet. From the sound of it they were both very drunk.
If your wife was too drunk to give meaningful consent, it was rape clear and simple, but it is very common for raped women to feel somehow responsible, especially if they have been drinking.
If she finds it too hard to talk about this openly with you, urge her to talk to Rape Crisis ( rapecrisis.org.uk , 0808 802 9999). I doubt your friendship is going to survive this but for your daughter’s sake it is important that your marriage does.
Get Relate’s help to work through all the feelings that have been stirred up. (see relate.org.uk , 0300 100 1234).
MY dad nearly drove us both off the road in a panic when I told him I knew he’d been cheating on Mum.
My sister found some texts on his phone five years ago and it was obvious he’d been seeing somebody else.
She was 20 at the time and I was 23 and we decided not to say anything to avoid upsetting Mum.
We then had a string of silent calls to the house. Mum answered the phone one day and this woman told her everything.
My sister said she’d been sleeping with my dad for a year and that he had given her spare keys to our holiday flat.
My mum told my sister and she confessed she’d known about it for ages.
Mum said they were too old for her to do anything and she wasn’t going to leave him – they’re both 64.
Dad now has cancer and the prognosis isn’t looking good.
I’ve always been a fairly dutiful daughter but we were arguing about something unrelated in the car on the way to the hospital and I bit back at him about the affair.
Some things had gone missing from our holiday home – I knew it was this other
woman – but Dad ducked and dived and had an answer for everything.
I feel so angry that he may pass away and not admit to Mum he’s treated her badly.
DEIDRE SAYS: By all means tell your dad you think he should say sorry to your mother while he still can but if they both find denial more comfortable, you need to let it go.
Nobody can truly know what goes on in someone else’s relationship and if your mother is trying to protect herself from more hurt, that is up to her.
Your father knows the truth and it is on his conscience.
It could help to talk your feelings through with Family Lives ( familylives.org.uk , 0808 800 2222).
I ONLY found out that my partner was married when his teenage daughter turned up at our house.
I’m 45 and my partner is 48. We’ve been together for 12 years and have a five-year-old son together.
One day I was confronted by a girl demanding to see her dad. My partner came to the door and this girl went mental at him.
My partner then told me the truth – that he was married.
His daughter is 14. I felt betrayed. I keep imagining him and his wife having sex while I was on my own.
That was three months ago. I haven’t slept in his bed since.
DEIDRE SAYS: Being deceived for so long is devastating but it’s going to serve no one, least of all your son, to let your relationship freeze.
Ask him why he kept this secret. It’s no excuse but maybe he was frightened to lose you.
If you can be grown-up about this, the children might even enjoy having a half-sibling.
I TOOK an overdose when my boyfriend dumped me but he was then very sympathetic and we still have sex.
He’s got another girlfriend though.
I’m 24 and my boyfriend is 25. We were together for a few months two years ago.
We split due to my mood swings and constant paranoia.
I took the split badly and made an attempt on my life. My boyfriend was so supportive and confided in my friend that he was still in love with me.
He got back in touch with me a few months ago and we’ve had sex a few times since.
I know he still cares, but he’s going out with another girl at the moment.
Could he be scared to commit to me because of what I did?
DEIDRE SAYS: Your suicide attempt must have been very scary for your boyfriend.
I hope you are now getting the help you need. Often the underlying problem is your own lack of self-esteem.
And I worry this is leading you to have sex with him even though he has another girlfriend now.
Tell him he has to make a choice and don’t have sex with him again unless he
commits to you.
I’m sending you my e-leaflet on Raising Self-Esteem.
MY husband hasn’t so much as touched me since I gave birth to our baby boy six months ago.
I am 24 and my husband is two years older.
We have been married for three years and our relationship has always been good – until now.
I have done everything I can possibly think of to initiate sex with him but nothing works.
It is really starting to affect my confidence and I am sure our lack of
closeness will be having a bad effect on our baby.
I am especially worried because he has started coming home late – and always seems keen to get out of the house at every opportunity.
DEIDRE SAYS: Sexual guilt leads some men to find it difficult to link sex with the mother of their child.
Some can’t get the image of childbirth out of their heads or feel guilty about having put you through a painful experience.
But of course you need to talk with him about what’s going on.
Maybe he is also feeling pushed out and rejected.
Then try the tactics in my advice line Sex Play Therapy. Ring 09067 577 162.
MY ex has told our children she’s pregnant and I’m worried she will start to neglect them once the baby arrives.
We divorced three years ago. Our children are seven and five and they live with me and my lovely partner most of the time.
My ex has the kids a couple of nights a week but often says she can’t cope.
She’s had many boyfriends since the divorce, and our kids don’t even know the surname of the dad-to-be. Should I insist we meet up to discuss this?
DEIDRE SAYS: Meeting up sounds sensible. But offer extra support rather than accuse her. Is the unborn baby’s dad still about? If so, invite him too.
Family Lives can help you negotiate this tricky situation ( familylives.org.uk , 0800 800 2222).
I WAS totally shocked to discover my widowed dad has been viewing gay websites.
I’m 43 and my dad has been widowed for the past two years after a long and happy marriage.
He bought a laptop recently and I often check my emails during visits. Pop-ups for a gay website appeared last week.
I checked the browsing history and my dad had been viewing gay websites.
Should I raise it with him or ignore it?
DEIDRE SAYS: Assuming the participants were of age and the material is legal, then it’s none of your business.
Many straight men look at gay porn, so don’t jump to conclusions, and I think it will embarrass you both if you ask him about it.
Tell me what you think on my Facebook page today .
You can follow my life and sex tips on Twitter @deardeidre

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My wife, Lauren, went away for the weekend with her mother, ostensibly for some R & R at a spa in Pennsylvania. She might have just gone to her parents’ house and hid there for 48 hours . I wouldn’t blame her if she did.
This left me alone with the children from Friday evening through Sunday. Expectations were low as I am a sometimes-depressed/always-lazy parent who preaches discipline, which in reality translates to impatience, yelling, and finally caving to all their desires.
Lauren (before leaving): I left you four notes.
Lauren: Four! Read them and text me any questions.
(I have skipped Friday night as no major injuries occurred and the children made it to bed on time. I would argue that my superior parenting was the cause. Reality would say they were exhausted from school.)
I’m not sure how it’s mathematically possible. Liz and Matt know twenty other kids tops. Yet there are multiple birthday parties every weekend of our lives. I’m convinced some parents throw their kid a
party three times per year. Which brings me to my first problem. Lauren’s aunt can’t make it. I have to become the parent who brings the kid who isn’t invited.
11:16 A.M. We arrive and I explain to Jenny’s mom that the babysitter bailed.
“Of course he’s welcome! What’s his name?” Jenny’s mom says (while cursing under her breath).
Matt hides behind my leg. He’s in a stage where he does this a lot.
Like the hypocrite I am, I totally excuse this behavior when it’s me he’s clinging to, as opposed to when he does it with Lauren.
Speaking of types of invites, a cousin to the “uninvited sibling” is the “parents’ friends’ older kid who’s invited to avoid offending the parents’ friends even though they didn’t want to come anyway but didn’t want to offend you.” I scan the room and get a look at all the children running around. I spot an older kid not participating. I make eye contact and nod my head at him like, “I feel you, kid.” He looks back at me and appears to be debating if he should scream “Stranger Danger!”
It’s time for the kids to eat. Minus my obsession with germs and complete lack of self-control when there are three pies of pizza sitting there and no one to tell me “No,” I think this portion of the party goes fairly smoothly.
Am I too old to eat icing from a cupcake?
At home, we watch New York Minute with the Olsen twins which won 14 Academy Awards, I believe. I try not to look at my phone and the college football games. Liz loves it. It’s kind of entertaining. Wait,
did I just say that? Have I lost that much perspective after less than 24 hours with my kids?
(Does anyone else find these notes slightly condescending?)
5:58 P.M. It’s time for showers. Do they really need showers? Lauren didn’t say anything about showers in her note. In my mind, I run through their various exposures to the outside world. My germaphobia and my laziness are in a tight battle.
I play in the poker tournament. In a past life, I played a lot of poker and it’s one of the two activities (along with eating peanut butter straight from the spoon without choking) that I’m good at. So I
last until the final table. It’s getting late.
What???? That’s a violation of babysitting etiquette. You can’t leave the house until the parents come home.
We’re down to five people and it’s $1,000 and town bragging rights on the line. I am at a crossroads. It’s been a long time since my gambling problem directly interfered with my life.
“They’re sleeping. What’s going to happen?”
“It’s only $1,000 to the winner, right?” I confirm. I think if it was more than $5,000, I’d have to take my chances. I intentio
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