New Sex Your
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New Sex Your
by Alisa Hrustic Published: Aug 28, 2020
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Alisa Hrustic Deputy Editor, Prevention
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For when missionary and doggy style just ain't cutting it.
After the thousandth time, missionary position may no longer cut it for you and your partner. The same might go for doggy style and its many variations. This doesn't necessarily mean your sex drives are waning, or that you and your partner need to call it quits. It could just be that you need to switch things up! Yes, even, sex gets boring after a while if you keep having it the same exact way.
There are two simple ways to update your sexual repertoire when things start to grow stale. The first is to incorporate sex toys into your sex life. The second is to try some crazy sex positions . This piece is going to focus on the latter. (But if you are interested in sprucing up your sex life with toys, head here to see our top sex toy recommendations for couples.)
Don’t worry, even though we say “crazy” sex positions, we included positions that most couples can do. (Excluding The Maypole. You’re going to need hella strong quads and glutes to pull off that bad boy.) But as for the rest of the positions, you should be fine. Yes, they require some strength and flexibility, but if you take your time entering the position, there shouldn’t be too much of a problem.
So without further ado, here are 12 wild sex positions you and your partner can try out the next time you go at it. And of course, don’t immediately skip to full P-in-V/B penetration. Make sure to start with some heavy-duty foreplay and get your fingers involved if you want your partner to enjoy the experience.
Why it’s awesome: This twist on missionary position increases clitoral stimulation for your partner, says sex researcher Nicole Prause, Ph.D. In fact, past research has found that women who had trouble reaching orgasm during missionary position were more likely to orgasm using the coital alignment technique.
How to try it: Start in missionary position and shift your body up and over to one side. Rock forward and back instead of thrusting up and down to help you maintain direct contact with her clitoris, says Prause.
Why it’s awesome: It’s versatile, says sex counselor Eric M. Garrison, author of Mastering Multiple Position Sex . She gets to control the depth and speed, but it allows you to thrust at the same time, which can be hard to do with a bed fully underneath you, he says. Plus, both of your hands are totally free, so you can tease her erogenous zones or incorporate a sex toy. (Try out this vibrating ring if you want to go that route—it fits perfectly against her clitoris.)
How to try it: Lie back on an ottoman (without wheels!) so it supports your entire back. Have her straddle you, so she can move up and down. If you have a strong core, you can move half way down the ottoman, which gives you more freedom to thrust.
For a twist, she can kneel between your legs and perform oral sex on you, or straddle your face while you perform oral on her.
Why it’s awesome: If you haven’t mastered standing positions, ease into them with this one. It will provide intense and deep penetration for her, says Garrison. (Here are 11 more positions that will help you go deeper during sex .)
How to try it: Lean your back against the wall as though you’re doing a wall sit. Your legs should be bent almost to a right angle and close enough together that she can straddle you, says Garrison.
While it might take more concentration to keep your balance, your hands are free to rest on her hips, play with her breasts , or stroke her back as you thrust. Depending on her height, her feet might not be able to touch the floor. If it gets too tiring, form a tripod by having her drop one of her feet to the floor, which makes it easier on your legs.
Why it’s awesome: It’s a bit wild and the challenge can feel really exhilarating, says Garrison. Plus, her clitoris will rub against your pubic bone, making it extra pleasurable for her.
How to try it: Starting from the chair position, have her wrap her legs around you. Then, have her lean back, and with your hands beneath her bum, lift her up and move to an almost standing position. Lift her up and down your shaft. To help maintain your energy, keep your legs slightly bent.
Why it’s awesome: This sex position is slow and encourages deeper penetration. It’s also super intimate because you’re able to see her body while maintaining eye contact, says Garrison.
Set the perfect mood to make sex even more intimate and hot with this Aromatherapy Massage Oil from the Men's Health.
How to try it: Lie on your back as if you’re ready to do a sit-up, but with one leg extended out and the other bent. Have her straddle on of your legs. She can then move up and down your penis, controlling the depth and speed. Depending on which side your penis naturally curves, she can sit and grind against you in the opposite direction of the curve, which should feel great for you.
Why it’s awesome: This position is great when you want to give her clitoral stimulation, while still maintaining the closeness and intimacy that some other face-to-face positions bring, says sex researcher Jessica Wood, Ph.D.(c) .
How to try it: Instead of assuming the traditional sitting-up cowgirl position, have her lay forward so that her face is cradled into your neck. This can help align your bodies to provide more direct clitoral stimulation.
You have your hands free to hold her hips, or for added pleasure, you can reach around and stimulate her anus, if she’s into that, says Wood. If not, here are nine other secret erogenous zones she’s been dying for you to touch.
Why it’s awesome: “This can be a different sensation than typical oral sex positions , as you are coming at it from behind rather than in front,” says Wood.
How to try it: Have her lay on her stomach and place a pillow under her hips, which will help lift her butt up so you have easier access to her vulva, says Wood. This also leaves your hands free to insert a finger or two into her vagina for some internal stimulation at the same time.
Why it’s awesome: It’s a great twist on the classic doggy style position, but it doesn’t require as much strength or flexibility from both of you, says Moushumi Ghose, a licensed marriage therapist and author of Classic Positions Reinvented . Plus, from this angle, it’s a bit easier for you or her to manually stimulate her clitoris.
How to try it: Have her lay face down with her butt raised in the air for easy access. Your legs should be close together inside hers. For more support, she can place a pillow under her stomach or prop herself up with her forearms with her hands framing her head and neck. To make it more intense, place your hands on her back or hips so you can thrust with more force.
Why it’s awesome: This is an easy transition from any woman-on-top position, says Ghose. Plus, this angle lets you see her body react to your thrusting and your hands are free to roam her whole body—from her breasts all the way down to her clitoris.
How to try it: Start in reverse cowgirl. Have her lean back until she’s propped on her elbows, with her back on your chest and her arms supporting her body weight. Hold her at her waist to maintain more control over the rhythm of your thrusting.
Why it’s awesome: Watching her take charge can be a thrill, says Ghose. Plus, if she’s into anal play, you can use your fingers from this position. This also gives her an opportunity to use a sex toy on her clitoris. (This vibrator has four different intensity levels and vibration patterns, so you can adjust it to her needs.)
How to try it: This is a variation of reverse cowgirl. Sit with your legs forward and lean back on your arms. She will lie down on your legs with her head near your feet and straddle you at the hips, using her arms for support. Her legs should be stretched out behind her, but can be bent at the knees for more support. You can place your hands on her butt and push her back and forth here, suggests Ghose.
Why it’s awesome: This spooning variation provides deep penetration but isn’t physically taxing like doggy style, says Robin Milhausen, Ph.D., a professor of human sexuality at the University of Guelph in Canada. Plus, it creates more tension in both of your bodies, which easily amps up arousal, she says.
How to try it: Both of you will lie on your sides, with you behind her. Have her raise her top leg in the air. She should hold on to her raised leg’s ankle while you thrust from behind. To really get her going, stimulate her breasts or clitoris or have her use a sex toy (like this high-tech massager with serious motor power) while you thrust.
Why it’s awesome: “ Masturbation is one of the best ways to get to know your own body, how you experience pleasure, and ultimately how a partner can satisfy you. This is a fast track to teaching your partner what works best for you and feels great at the same time,” says Amie Harwick, Ph.D., M.F.T., a California-based marriage and family therapist and author of The New Sex Bible for Women .
Plus, you’ll get to see exactly how she likes to be touched, too. And the view of her doing it isn’t bad.
How to try it: Ask your partner to touch herself while you touch yourself, says Harwick. She might be shy at first. If that’s the case, have her sit in front of you and lean her back into your chest to make it more comfortable and less invasive feeling.
You can start by touching her body as she masturbates and gradually start touching yourself, so you both end up engaging in masturbation. (Check out our complete guide on how to try mutual masturbation for more tips and tricks.)
Additional reporting by Carrie Borzillo and Julie Stewart
Alisa Hrustic is the deputy editor at Prevention , where she leads the brand’s digital editorial strategy. She’s spent the last five years interviewing top medical experts, interpreting peer-reviewed studies, and reporting on health, nutrition, weight loss, and fitness trends for national brands like Women’s Health and Men’s Health . She spends most of her days diving into the latest wellness trends, writing and editing stories about health conditions, testing skincare products, and trying to understand the next greatest internet obsession.
13 Sex Positions for When Your Partner's on Top
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The Ultimate Guide to Spit-Roasting
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Are You Brave Enough for the Spider Sex Position?
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Use safer sex practices . It can be easier to relax and enjoy yourself if you feel confident that you are practicing safer sex. With this in mind, make a plan to make your sex life as safe as possible. If you can, before you have sex, get to know your partner, and talk openly about your sexual histories. Use a condom or dental dam every time you have sex, and for the complete act. [1]
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Research source
Haavio-Mannila, E., & Kontula, O. (1997). Correlates of increased sexual satisfaction. Archives of sexual behavior, 26(4), 399-419
Only latex and polyurethane condoms protect against STIs and HIV . Polyurethane condoms may break more easily than latex. Use a condom any time you have vaginal, anal, or oral sex . [2]
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A dental dam is a latex barrier that you can use when performing oral sex with a female partner. It can help prevent the spread of STIs and HIV. [3]
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Females should also consider getting the HPV vaccine to help prevent problems like genital warts and cervical cancer . [4]
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HPV vaccines may cause fainting or allergic reactions in some people, so talk with your doctor about whether the vaccine is right for you. [5]
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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services
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Love the body you're in. Feeling self-conscious or embarrassed of your body can make sex needlessly uncomfortable. If you struggle with body image issues that are negatively affecting your sex life, then make it a priority to rectify what you can and accept what you cannot. Accepting your body is key to a happy self and the first step to better sex life.
Try looking at yourself in the mirror and make it a point to find a new positive about yourself each day. [6]
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You can also make it a point to get to know your own body in a sexual way. People with vaginas who masturbate have significantly more sexual satisfaction than those who do not [7]
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Hurlbert, D. F., & Whittaker, K. E. (1991). The role of masturbation in marital and sexual satisfaction: A comparative study of female masturbators and nonmasturbators. Journal of Sex Education and Therapy, 17(4), 272-282
Knowing what feels good for yourself will help you communicate your needs to your partner.
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Communicate openly with your partner . Communication with your partner will improve your sexual satisfaction and help with your intimacy. [8]
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Davis, D., Shaver, P. R., Widaman, K. F., Vernon, M. L., Follette, W. C., & Beitz, K. (2006). “I can't get no satisfaction”: Insecure attachment, inhibited sexual communication, and sexual dissatisfaction. Personal Relationships,13(4), 465-483
[9]
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Byers, E. S., & Demmons, S. (1999). Sexual satisfaction and sexual self‐disclosure within dating relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 36(2), 180-189
[10]
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Haavio-Mannila, E., & Kontula, O. (1997). Correlates of increased sexual satisfaction. Archives of sexual behavior, 26(4), 399-419
It can be hard to establish and maintain open communication with your partner, especially if you aren't comfortable with sex and what you want. Think about what you can say and still feel comfortable and safe.
No matter how well you may think you know each other, your partner isn't a mind reader. If there is something you want to change about your sex life, then it's important to talk about it. If your partner is really committed to you, then they will be willing to listen and respect your needs. [11]
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Communicating your sexual needs can even be a good bonding experience for you and your partner. [12]
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Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
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Reveal what you like. You need to be open with your partner about your attitudes and feelings towards having sex. You should also make a point of asking your partner what they want and what they like. Being shy or coy will only make your partner feel self-conscious, which can make the experience worse for both of you. Let yourself enjoy the experience and allow yourself to let your partner see that you're enjoying it too. [13]
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Research source
Byers, E. S., & Demmons, S. (1999). Sexual satisfaction and sexual self‐disclosure within dating relationships. Journal of Sex Research, 36(2), 180-189
Don't judge your partner for what they like. It can be scary for both of you to divulge that kind of information, so listen to them without interrupting. If your partner likes something that you are not comfortable with, let them know that you are not interested in it without making them feel weird or bad about their desires. [14]
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Avoid using euphemisms when possible. These are not clear, and can make it harder for your partner to understand you. Use language that you're comfortable with, but remember that sex is not "wrong" or "dirty," and using terminology that is clear and communicative is helpful. [15]
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Trustworthy Source
Mayo Clinic
Educational website from one of the world's leading hospitals
Go to source
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