Neighbors Tease

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Neighbors Tease
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Linda (Kaywood) Bilyeu is a self-published author. She writes from the heart—there is no other way.
How to make your neighbors move away.
I actually love my neighbors; they are the best. I have never had an issue or a grievance with them. As friendly neighbors, we have each others' backs. This is even true of the annoying ones.
Sure, they might not pick up their garbage can or recycling bins for a few days. They might not mow their lawn until the pets get lost in the tall blades of grass, but my nice neighbors mean well—the majority of the time at least.
Well, except for my neighbor with a sports car. For some reason, he enjoys idling and revving the engine for what seems like hours, but is just many minutes. Long enough to frighten my grandbaby while she is napping, but you know what they say about boys and their toys.
(Just in case my neighbors are reading this, do not take offense. Please do not egg my house—I might need to borrow those eggs!)
Other people aren't as lucky as I am. I've heard many tales from friends and family about how their neighbors are rude, ruthless, and uncaring. I've heard stories of how selfish people can be. It's time for some payback for them. These neighbors won't see you coming because they are too self-absorbed.
These are just harmless ideas. Most of them are fictional. I accept no responsibility should you decide to use one or more of these clever creations. This is all in good jest and satirical; please keep that in mind!
Sometimes your neighbors really get on your nerves.
1 . You could mow your lawn very early in the morning. Be sure to also use the leaf blower as often as possible. Leave no stone unturned and no leaf visible to the naked eye. You could also use a hedge trimmer or a chainsaw to do some yard work, the louder the better.
2 . You could have a few pizzas delivered to their address. When your neighbor refuses to pay because they didn't order them, tell the delivery driver that you'll buy them at a reduced price instead of them going to waste. Hey, it never hurts to ask.
3 . Allow your pets to do their business in your neighbor's yard and don't use a pooper scooper. You could train your dog to poop directly where your neighbor would step out of his car. Yes, that has happened to a friend of mine. It wasn't intentional, just totally rude.
4 . Doorbell ditch! Ring your neighbor's doorbell and then hide. Once they go indoors, wait ten minutes and then do it again. Then wait 20 minutes. Then 30 minutes. Then run like heck because chances are they are probably pissed and will be waiting for you on the other side of the door.
5. TP their tree! Tell them it's out of courtesy so now they won't run out of toilet paper. It's a bonus if it rains after you finish the job as that will make quite the mess!
TP-ing someone's house can work really well if they have trees and a large yard.
By Dwight Burdette [CC BY 3.0 (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0)], from Wikimedia Commons
6. Place rubber snakes around their garden beds. Have the video camera ready for when they leap. Post the video on YouTube.
7. Sic the solicitors on them. When a solicitor knocks on your door to sell you something, rave about how much your neighbor likes the product or organization and show them where your neighbor lives. Tell them your neighbor is shy and might need some coaxing to admit it!
8. Late at night, turn up the volume on your stereo and add some karaoke to the mix! Make sure it is not easy-listening music. Heavy metal and techno are great choices!
9. Paint your house a bright yellow. When confronted, go into a rant about how much you love sunshine, and you want to be surrounded by the rays of the sun! As a bonus, you could make your yard blue, and the yellow/blue combination will surely drive your neighbor crazy!
10. Keep your dog outdoors and allow it to bark 24/7. Be sure and give them food and water. You are intentionally trying to annoy your neighbors, but don't neglect your pet.
11. Park your car in their parking spot. If they say something just break out into Britney Spears song, "Oops, I Did It Again."
12. B-ball it up. Set up a basketball hoop in your driveway and play b-ball at all hours of the day and night. Dribble the ball as often as you want!
13. Place a telescope near your window. Have it peeking through the curtains. Be sure your neighbor is aware of it. You are officially a "peeping tom."
14. Weed your yard in your swimsuit or your birthday suit. Most people can't pull this off. There is a woman in my neighborhood who mows her lawn in heels and jeans in 90-degree temps; I'll never understand that.
15. Roast a pig in a backyard pit. Be sure the wind is blowing in the direction of your neighbors' open windows. The more smoke the better. Also, you can get a similar effect from having a massive bonfire in your backyard.
16. Place a trail of sugar to your neighbors front porch! The ants will appreciate it, your neighbors won't.
17. Plant a Weeping Willow tree in your yard, but close to your neighbor's property. Watch your neighbor weep as they try to escape the cascading willows to find their way home.
18. Use their garden hose to fill your swimming pool and then have a pool party and invite them.
19. If they have a sprinkler system, redirect their sprinkler heads to water your lawn.
20. If you live in an apartment and the tenants above you have heavy feet, use your broom handle to bang on the ceiling. While they are sleeping.
21. Bake a plate of brownies and add an extra ingredient that they'll be buzzing about. Be sure your neighbor doesn't have a drug test coming up soon!
22. Prune flowers from their garden and give your wife a bouquet. Who needs a florist?
23. Why pay for a wireless network? Just use your friendly neighbors unsecured Internet access!
24. Borrow their Sunday paper. Read it. Clip the coupons. Return their paper.
25. Be adults. Call a truce. Shake hands. Proceed to #1 and start again.
If you're really looking to take it to the next level, you can try your hand at doing something that will make your neighbors consider moving. Again, keep in mind these suggestions are all in good fun.
Start a Facebook group for your neighborhood. Each time a neighbor voices their opinion, pounce on them and ridicule their post . . . just for the fun of it!
Instead of encouraging friendly conversation, see who can be the first one to piss off the other members. Chances are you could weed out the most annoying neighbors within this group.
This article is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge. Content is for informational or entertainment purposes only and does not substitute for personal counsel or professional advice in business, financial, legal, or technical matters.
so we have our neighbors right in front of our house and to get to the mail box we have to go in her yard and she tells us to get out of her yard and to stop leaving the gate door open!!!!!
Has anyone heard about a device called the Mosquito?? It is an ultrasonic noise machine that emits a decibel that kids and i think people under 30 find unbearable. I would like to know where to purchase one of these or something similar as i just found out that schools in my area will not be opening so it means street hockey with pucks pinging my car and house and soccer so balls will be hitting my windows all to the glee of the parents who think their kids are so athletically gifted. To all the people who think these posts are mean spirited perhaps you would like to spend a day or two in our circumstance and see how long you last--we are not posting because we have great neighbors-we are posting because our neighbors are making our lives a living hell and even making it impossible for us to sell our houses or live a happy life. The parents are disrespectful pigs and think they own the neighborhood so thank you to all that have posted helpful suggestions.
Create a long stick with a j type hook.
Buy fish from a Mexican market. The whole fish will be frozen. When the coast is clear place fish on hook and finagle it into the gutter. Inside the shrubbery along the walk way to the door. What a pleasant way to reach the front door, being assailed by the rotting odor.
On one day of the week I had a tree service come to cut down two very tall pine trees in my backyard. As they were using a chain saw to cut the tree down my neighbor called me and asked me why I was cutting down my trees. I told her I didn't want them anymore because of all the pine needles and pine cones were dirtying my yard thats why. She was mad and now she doesn't talk to me anymore. She also said that her clients loved looking out her home window and see the tree branches blowing in the wind.
Simply an AM CB Radio thats been peaked and tweaked to swing more than 4watts and then hook the monitor speaker when you talk and key the mic... that causes terrible feedback and put a deep cycle 12 volt marine battery with it. Tape it all together put a magnet mount antenna on top of the cb place it somewhere they cannot find it heck put it in a box bury it and put the antenna somewhere in the trees ;p THAT DRIVES em CRAZY because any speaker hooked up or not gives off that feedback because its being transmitted at 45 watts. Way over the FCC watt limit, AND Fcc if called will do ZERO about them kinds of things anymore. They are on their own! Have fun! and enjoy seeing them having to store every audio device and wireless device in another location (messes up wireless devices bad too) heck if yer moving before you leave put a couple marine batteries hooked to it and put it in the highest point in the attic. Works fab... washes everyones electronics for blocks... esp if your near power lines and cable lines it disrupts all of it... tv internet.. 60hz freq on the 125vac lines its wreaks havok! Happy irritating!
Call child protective service on lawn kids on August 04, 2020:
Where are their parents and go back to run on your own lawn entitled a-hole. Parents who don’t watch their kids are neglecting them. I watched kids do stupid things and dumb parents stand by that. The type of breeders that need to be Nixed ASAP.
Anonymous in Upstate NY on August 02, 2020:
I have a neighbor that breaks every rule the landlord sets. He has knifed my convertible top.
I'm going to get some bright colored glitter and mix it with super glue and pour it on his car.
Hate my neighbour's on July 25, 2020:
My neighbour's always have loud music playing that I can hear upstairs far away from the garden and and they swear even tho i have young kids and talk really really really loudly and they also have a really really really loud dog yappy dog who barks and yaps all day long. there house is at the bottom of the garden! thank you for the tips!!
Kindness works better on July 20, 2020:
"Getting your neighbor to Move???? Seriously. I hope you are never my neighbor, because YOU are rather rude, yourself, suggesting all of these offenses. You do realize there are those who think these are "just a prank or joke". And then, they become neighborhood nuisances. People need to get a job and get a hobby. A USEFUL hobby.
Or just feed the birds. Noisy birds will drive your neighbors crazy.
I am from middle east and moved to Serbia 7 years ago.I never undrestand why European and American people cant have forgiveness?
My crazy neighbor is constantly insulting my nationality and flattiering our car and we dont have any proof to record him to police.
His problem is that my 2 years old son is walking at home and he cant tolerate kids. Lonely people living just in their own world and spending time to hate others and hurt them.
There are so many beautifull things in world that helps us to tolerate others more instead of couraging to hate more.
How crazy people can hate a 2 years old kid!!
I think the best revenge is to get a McCaw and leave the windows open. Those birds have major pipes. Big Smile.
I would love to use any one of these great ideas to get some control back in my life after these low life pieces of blank neighbors have made my life a living hell. However, in this day and age where there are cameras everywhere how can i do any of these without having a camera somewhere recording my every movement? Any and all help would be appreciated. This is not an apartment these are single houses just that the noise generated from that house can be heard fifteen houses away-probably more. Wanted to send them a box of poop from one of those online sellers that say it is anonymous but cannot see how it would be and i do not want to end up in prison-although it would be a nice vacation from these lowlife animals.
These horrible people called the police because my kids walked through there lawn and turns out it was not even there property
After reading all of these comments, it's easy to see that our planet is overpopulated and it's only going to get worse. All these people....like jamming 12 rats in a shoebox and expecting them to get along?
My neighbours are super loud and practice barfing noises 24/7. They also scream swear words a lot. One day, I had enough and got up at 5am to mow the lawn and sing 'i kissed a girl’ as loud as I could.
I have a very stupid neighbour. He likes to tell people what they should do, and everyone should follow whatever he wishes. We moved to this house 7 months ago. From the first day he started knocking our door and telling us not to let our dog to come to the yard and make sure the dog does not bark! He asked us not to use our balcony since he likes to sleep till l 11 am. Apparently, he works starts from evening till 3-4 am as he calls Iran and does business through the phone. I have no idea what kind of business he has as the company that he has does not show anything but Consulting. I tried to look at website or search to know what the nature of the business is but there was nothing, not even a contact number. does not even have a proper job. He has a consulting company, but no one knows what kind of counselling he does. I was told his parents are rich and he asks them for money to buy anything he wants. He thinks having money entitle him to boss people around.
I cannot use any of the tips since his house is equipped with Camera. To tell you the truth I don’t even think about using any of the tips on him as I feel sorry for him. He is mentally ill, has extremely low self confidence and many more. The way to cover his short coming he boss people around. He is crazy, to make him mad I do whatever l like in my own house.
I live with my 3 kids and very uncomfortable to clean my garden cut grass they remove all branches weeds and also made entrance to watch i covered it all up and fight over it many times tired need some ideas to get rid of them please kids also uncomfortable to play in our backyard.
My neighbor claims to have rheumatoid arthritis and therefore hasn't worked for the past 10 years. She's a freakin teacher and has stolen money and continues to steal money from our government. However, for someone with rheumatoid arthritis, she is capable of walking her dog for six hours a day at random times. Sometimes you'll even see her outside at 12:30am.
The thing is: her dog is allowed outside at any time of the day. However, when my family wants to bring our dog outside, she threatens to call animal control (even when our dog is clearly on a leash) because she claims that our loving, friendly dog whom everyone else absolutely adores is "a total menace to society".
The funny thing about her is she weighs roughly over 200 pounds and wears a bright pink jacket every time she goes out for walks. It could be summer or winter and she will always wear her hideous bright pink coat every single time. So, we've came up with a creative way of our own to annoy her:
Every time she comes outside with her dog and we happen to see her, every member in our family pretends to be a "pink elephant" from the movie Dumbo. When she is outside while we are, we will hum the tune of the song and pretend to stomp like an elephant. She hasn't been outside as much lately, and it's wonderful.
My son handicap man is in a home Becouse of liars naibour s going round telling people my boy noisy when he I'll and in pain now thay trying to get us out of our home 52 years
I have an upstairs neighbor, and they are so rude. I have 2 toddlers that cant get but a couple hours of sleep at night, and they cant nap during the day because of how loud and rude the neighbors are. Ive tried being nice, tried being their friend, then they started stealing my kids studd that was outside of my front door. So, i put cameras up. They still act the same way regardless. The cops will not do anything about it. Im at a loss of what to do. Ive been looking for a new place but cant find anything right now. So, im legit stuck here. And dont know what to do anymore.
I have rude and ignorant neighbors. The best thing you can do is laugh at them, They can’t stand being laughed at. When they try to upset you laugh. I have learned to laugh laugh laugh...Don’t let them know they are getting to you. I made friends with their friends and I found out how to get even. My daddy always told me to be nice. However, when that doesn’t work get even! I have turned my cheek so many times, my head is on backwards. Have fun they can’t stand it. They love misery......
Some Indians moved into my neighborhood. They bought the home. No joke now 25 people live in a 3 bedroom 2200 ft home.
Would be MUCH more appreciated if these weren’t all crimes. As terrible as these eejits are, they are NOT worth destroying your life or reputation.
My neighbor is the anal sort you know the type. He has the manicured lawn, retired and devotes 24/7 of his time to his home. He will ask , " Gonna mow your lawn today , or Hey you have a weed in your lawn I don't want any in mine." You get the sort he is the stereo typical " Look at my house." I work, so does my wife we have a nice home but I don't have a golf course lawn nor do I care too.
I'st easy to say and write but to do is not. so go figure.
Completely ridiculous ideas. Most of these will just end up with the neighbour calling by-law officer and you getting in trouble instead. So much for getting back at them.
I have 2 neighbours .. one who rents a café which is actually attached to our house, but partitioned and one neighbour who lives next door,
The noise is terrible we politely asked both neighbours to keep the noise down when possible, the café slam and bang everything and the owners have terrible language, when I complained to my landlord he spoken to them and now they do it even more, we heard them saying 'I don't give a **** ill bang more' its just so silly and annoying. The other neighbour plays rubbish music really loud but also has a baby who is constantly crying, yes...we are moving as soon as we can.
Nope, these ideas are wimpy. My neighbors are so self absorbed and oblivious they'd never get it.
I have a Neighbor From Hell (NFH) living next door to me and its a townhouse so we share a wall. This bitch tried to kick one of my cats and threatened to poison him! I told her if she ever tried to harm or kill any of my animals I would kill her. Now I have 2 court dates because I am being accused of communicating a threat!
I have a crazy upstairs lady. Who is really nasty to me. She says I don't fit in the block. She wants me to move I'm at my wit's end. IV done nothing wrong. Wo
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