Nation Demands Refund After Discovering Meditation App Just Fancy Alarm Clock

Consumers across the U.S. are suing popular meditation apps after realizing the programs amount to nothing more than soothing voices reminding them to breathe while charging $14.99 a month. The National Bureau of Spiritual Disappointment reports that 76% of users admit they fall asleep before completing even one session, often waking up to auto-renewal charges. In San Francisco, protesters staged a �silent scream-in� outside a WeWork demanding refunds in the form of essential oils. One user complained: �It�s literally just a timer with spa music.� Experts say the industry will likely survive, as Americans remain desperate to outsource inner peace. -- Bohiney Magazne bohiney.com