Nasty Daughter
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Nasty Daughter
July 23, 2021 July 11, 2021 by Barrie Davenport
It’s the big question on your mind lately: “Why is my grown daughter so mean to me?”
You used to be a lot closer, but now, whenever you try talking to her, she’s closed off and responds with a hostile and resentful attitude .
It seems she’s holding a grudge against you.
But before you jump to thinking, “My grown daughter hates me,” let’s examine the most likely reasons for her disrespectful behavior .
Her reasons might not be what you think.
If daughters treat their mothers so badly, what’s the reason? Surely all this anger and disrespect didn’t come from nowhere.
The truth is there are many reasons your daughter may be lashing out. It could have to do with your behavior, or it could be entirely about her own life. We’ve compiled a list of possible explanations for her hostile attitude towards you.
If your daughter doesn’t have healthy coping mechanisms for dealing with strong emotions , she’s likely to lash out at others.
This means that whenever she’s going through something, she will effectively make life miserable for those around her.
The easiest outlet for her anger is someone she loves. She’ll lash out at you over the most minor things. She’s looking for someone to blame besides herself.
Anger is a secondary emotion, usually caused by hurt or sadness. The purpose of anger is to protect. By lashing out, she feels she is defending herself when she feels most fragile.
Maybe she feels you don’t see her as a grown woman. If you still treat her like a child and demand respect, ask yourself how you’d react if your roles were reversed.
If you’re trying to impose your idea of who she is , based on your “ motherly intuition ” and observations, she may be trying to show you who she is now — or who she wants to be — and is frustrated by your limited or skewed perception of her.
Her hostility now doesn’t mean she’ll never be open to repairing the relationship. But you don’t get to define her based on who she was (or seemed to be) when she was growing up. Give her the space to discover and define herself.
And focus more on showing respect than demanding it for yourself.
If she’s dealing with repressed trauma, it might be hitting her pretty hard. None of the unpleasant emotions from her past will stay shoved down forever. When they come up, they may result in resentment towards you, whether or not you did anything wrong.
If she’s looking for someone to blame for past trauma, a parent will be a likely candidate — especially if she feels you could have protected her if you’d been paying closer attention.
You may be thinking, “I don’t like my grown daughter,” because she seemed so much happier as a kid. But if she’s struggling to deal with emotions she’s repressed, she needs you to care enough to consider outside help (i.e., a therapist).
Was she always the ‘good kid’? Maybe she got straight A’s, always listened to her teacher, and never asked for anything. Perhaps she was really helpful in taking care of her younger siblings, or maybe she did more household chores than anyone else.
Because of this, you thought she was a perfectly happy kid. She was so responsible — so ‘mature’ for her age. She would surely grow into a bright and successful adult.
Unfortunately, taking on so many responsibilities at such a young age kept her from fully experiencing and enjoying childhood. She was so concerned with meeting expectations and being low-maintenance, she never had a chance to be a kid.
Holding someone to incredibly high standards won’t improve their mental health. But letting your kids get away with too much won’t set them up to be successful in life, either.
If you always said ‘yes’ to her when she was young, she may now believe everything she wants will fall into her lap. And when it doesn’t, she’s likely to blame you.
The jarring reality of being an adult may be catching up to her, and if you didn’t teach her essential life skills, she might resent you now for her lack of preparation. Transitions aren’t easy, and she certainly wasn’t prepared for this one.
Strict parents don’t raise well-behaved children — at least, not for long. By setting limits on what she could do, you forced her to be secretive. She didn’t trust you with anything. She hid her struggles for fear of angering you.
This fear made her an exceptional liar. You may think you knew her, but a large part of her personality was hidden from you. She found ways around your rules. She made excuses to cover things up.
As a child of strict parents , she never trusted adults to handle situations without getting angry and punishing her without even trying to understand. Maybe you never told her why she couldn’t do something, so she had to learn consequences the hard way.
Whether you contributed to this feeling or not, it’s there. She struggles with her confidence and self-image. This low self-esteem makes her prone to lashing out towards those she loves when she feels insecure.
This reaction, of course, isn’t an excuse for her behavior. But her feelings of worthlessness may have started a long time ago. If she was a low-maintenance kid, she might have grown to believe that she didn’t deserve certain things. So, she never asked you for anything.
Feelings of worthlessness commonly correlate with anxiety and depression. Both of these can make someone socially withdrawn or prone to bursts of anger.
Most likely, her sudden disrespectful attitude towards you isn’t entirely your fault or hers. She’s responsible for her own behavior towards others, but you’re responsible for the way you treat her.
There are many things you can do to improve your bond with your daughter. Some of these methods may work better than others.
Now that you’ve read through this list of possible explanations for your daughter’s behavior, which of them stood out for you? And what will you do differently today?
What I, as a mother cruelly and unfairly mistreated by her 50 year old daughter, got out of this article is more blame on me from the writer. It’s obvious the writer has not interviewed mother’s in great pain and anguish, but instead looked up some general answers in some psychology books!
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Donald Trump has always had a proudly creepy relationship with his daughter, Ivanka.
A photo, initially taken in 1996 but which recently made rounds on the Internet, shows the presidential hopeful with his daughter, Ivanka, sitting on his lap. In the lower righthand corner, two parrot statues are spitting water from their beaks and appear to be… well, doing more than just spitting out water.
The composition itself wouldn’t be so strange were it not for the fact that Ivanka was 15 at the time of the photograph. Also she is wearing a mini-skirt. And she is cradling his Donald Trump face.
The photo was taken at Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate in 1996. Nine years later, Trump was asked at an interview how he’d feel if his daughter appeared in Playboy. Trump, being Trump, held nothing back:
“It would be really disappointing — not really — but it would depend on what’s inside the magazine,” Trump said . “I don’t think Ivanka would do that, although she does have a very nice figure. I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Just this year, Trump told Rolling Stone , “Yeah, [Ivanka’s] really something and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married, and ya know, her father…”
Donald Trump — here to make America creepy again.
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Man sleeps with 7-year-old daughter, inserts manhood into her mouth
Man sleeps with 7-year-old daughter, inserts manhood into her mouth
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A seven-year-old girl, Nneka (not real name) has narrated how her father usually play with her private part and insert his manhood in her mouth.
The victim, who lives with her parents at their Ojokoro Housing Estate, Meiran, Ijaiye, Lagos, said the father would pay her after making love with her.
The primary three pupil while narrating the incestuous incident to newsmen recently said, “My daddy usually gives me money after touching my private part or putting his penis in my mouth. He touches my private part when my mother is outside washing clothes or when she is not in the house.”
According to Vanguard report, the victim’s father, whose identity was given as Chukwuemeka Odunzie, allegedly started defiling his daughter early last year.
Narrating her ordeal, the victim’s mother, Mrs Odunzie, said: “Last year, my son told me that his younger sister was fond of playing with her private parts. It sounded strange that a seven-year-old child would be doing that.
“I will talk to her, scold her and sometimes beat her. There was a time I told my husband.
“All he said was that if she was acting strangely I should take her to any of these white garment churches. I was alarmed when one day, while we were in the sitting room, she started touching and playing with herself.
“Immediately, I called her inside the room and asked her what the problem was. I asked her if anyone was fiddling with her private parts. She said it was her father that always touched her private parts and that after touching her private parts, he would give her money.
“I confronted my husband when he returned from work but he denied vehemently. I reported a case of defilement to Ebenezer Divisional Police and the policemen invited my husband for questioning.
“He was arrested later by the police, who gave me a report to take my daughter to the hospital. The doctor said there had been no penetration, but that there is an opening in her vagina and advised that the victim be tested for infection.
“By the time we came back from the hospital, the IPO said it was a family issue and that we should go home and settle
the case.
“Members of his family were shouting, saying that I had no right to report the case to the police, that it was a family issue that should be treated as one. They pressurized me till I withdrew the case, after which he promised not to defile our daughter again.
“After I withdrew the case, my husband began to beat the children at the slightest provocation. And at times, he would beat them for no tangible reason.
“Two weeks ago, it happened again. I asked her what she did for her father that made him give her money without giving her siblings. That was when she said that daddy gave her the money after touching her private part.
“Her siblings said it had been ongoing for a while and that they refused to tell me because the last time they did, their daddy kept beating them.
“Her brother said whenever I was not around, or I was outside washing clothes, daddy would send him and his other siblings inside the bedroom, while he would ask the victim to kneel down in between his legs and bend her head towards his manhood.
“She also confirmed that after touching her, daddy would put his penis in her mouth.
“There was even a time my daughter was caught in the act with a four-year-old boy, who is a neighbour’s child.”
The accused, Chukwuemeka Odunzie, admitted that it was only once he abused his daughter and that he was not doing it for diabolic reasons.
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