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By reader28795 | 3 posts, last post over a year ago

I know an erect penis is about 5 inches in circumference. I can only take 3 inches in circumference. I don't think this is vaginismus because I've read that you can stretch yourself if you've had vaginismus, and I just don't stretch. When I had a smear the doctor said that I don't have a lot of room "up there". However, I have never had any interest in having sexual intercourse, nor much interest in sex at all (I do masturbate), and consider myself to be predominately asexual. I once thought I was a lesbian but I have no interest in sex with a woman. Can you be born with a narrow vaginal opening (and narrow vagina)? I don't think it would ever be possible for me to have sexual intercourse. Even if aroused and wet I just don't open up any more to wider things. I don't think it is vaginismus because even when relaxed and on my own, nothing wider will go in. I have to say that I don't find the idea of sexual intercourse particularly appealing, hence I consider myself to be asexual. Have no reason to believe I am intersex because I have normal periods and ovulation.

There seems to be several perhaps unrelated issues in your message.

Everyone has a different libio - sounds like you have a low level of sexual interest - you describe yourself as asexual (although you do masturbate?). It is not that uncommon to have a low level of sexual interest - the image presented on television that everyone is having sex all the time is simply not true. You may just naturally have a low libio. If this is a major concern you can speak to a doctor about it.

Having a narow vagina can be caused by surgery or medical conditions - but it sounds like you have had a physical to rule these out. I had a partner who had a very small vagina and a thick hymen which caused a lot of pain when we first tried to have sex. Her doctor ruled out any medical conditions, performed a minor incision to remove the hymen, and then gave her excercises to allow her to slowly allow her vagina to stretch. It took about a year (which was embarrasing but fun!) but by the end we were able to have normal intercourse. You might speak to your doctor about this.

I know your post is a couple of years old, but I had to reply, if only to say for the first time in my life I've read something that exactly describes my situation!

I think one has to do what makes one happy and conforming to others' views of how to express one's sexuality isn't necessarily the best option. You really don't have to have a sex life if you don't want one and I can think of few things less pleasant than unwanted sexual activity.

I went to the gynecolgist for the first time yesterday and she seemed amazed at the smallness of my vaginal opening. I got the impression that she had never seen one that small and was a bit at a loss as to what to do about examining me, because none of her equipment fitted, except one speculum that was designed for children. And even that was painful.

In my case I also have uterine fibroids (why I was there) and a good way of treating those is by inserting a device into the uterus that delivers progesterone there directly. Only we can't insert it without surgery. Normally it just goes right in because it's designed for a "normal" vagina.

So I'll probably have to have a small operation to open things up so we can put in the device. Apparently oestrogen creams, etc. won't help. The opening actually has to be surgically remodelled.

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