Naked Little College

Naked Little College

Bushwick Daily

Bushwick Daily

“It’s little dicks, not micro-penis,” the reporter from Gothamist was told outside of Kings County Saloon just before the event started
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“It’s little dicks, not micro-penis,” the reporter from Gothamist was told outside of Kings County Saloon just before the event started. And it seems that the distinction between the two is what makes Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Pageant what it is: a little joke with a lot of pride.

This was the third year for Brooklyn’s most idiosyncratic and irreverent pageant, and based on the crowd that was lining up to pay $10 to see some small dick (when a few probably could have just stayed home and looked in a mirror), it was an outstanding success.

Once again, Kings County Saloon was selling “Penis Coladas” with plastic dick straws to the 100+ crowd of mostly women, many of who seemed pretty eager to be close to the stage when the little fellers made their big debut. When resident drag Queen Chicken Bitches , dressed in her finest, most sparkly and cumbersome Jedi attire (this year was Star Wars themed), asked the audience if they were here to hate or celebrate, they exuberantly shouted, “celebrate!”

Seriously, why doesn’t every bar in Brooklyn have a resident drag Queen? There are certainly enough of them living here. The only answer that I can come up with is that every bar owner and manager in the borough are well aware that no Queen can MC like the witty, cheeky and downright hysterical Chicken Bitches.

After Chicken Bitches warmed up the crowd, out came the competitors in see-through tuxedo-speedos. Two of them were returning for a second shot at the crown, a Mr. Rip Van Dinkle and The Puzzlemaster. The former won the first pageant, whereas the latter was a close runner-up last year . The other contestants, a well-tatted and rotund Chino Loco, the shy and endearing Gentleman and the Tecate-wielding Cromwell all seemed to have a shot at the title when the show started, but after the introductions and pageant walks, it seemed like the bout could only favor one man: The Puzzlemaster.

From the start he brought a flair and confidence that the other contestants struggled to deliver. He had a handful of jokes (last year he lost only by the “smallest margin”), and went all out during the cocksplash segment, when one lucky young woman was invited onstage to spray the dancing contestants with a squirt gun. I knew better from last year than to get too close to the stage. The Puzzlemaster also killed it with a Shirley Bassey cover renamed, “Golddinger.”

So when the Puzzlemaster was crowned and handed the scepter (a toy light-saber tipped with a plastic dick) along with $500 in cash, few people could be surprised. True, The Gentleman delivered a heartfelt poem that made the ladies in the crowd swoon, Chino Loco presented a hilarious and deeply traumatizing striptease in a Stormtrooper outfit, Rip Van Dinkle dropped a poorly timed but amusing rap, and Cromwell killed it with a Braveheart-level rousing speech about orgies in America, but nobody delivered the sincerity and cocksured-ness of The Puzzlemaster.

Confidence, it seems, is truly the key to winning the hearts of Ameri- er- Brooklyn.

I’m much smaller than the winner! Soft 0cm, hard 2cm!

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11/8/21

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Well, this gives new meaning to the phrase “body goals.”
Student athletes hailing from Cambridge University compiled a racy calendar where they posed naked to raise money for health awareness.
Almost 80 players across the college’s 12 sports teams took part in stripping off their clothes around the UK’s most famous landmarks.
The collection entitled “Cambridge Blues Naked Calendar” is already sold out and has the students modeling in places such as the Grantchester Meadows and Cambridge’s Sedgwick Museum of Earth Sciences.
Both male and female athletes from netball, gymnastics, the American football team and other sports used their equipment to cover their junk during the calendar photo shoots.
The fun and flirty photos are part of an annual tradition at the university and were taken by photographer Andrew Wilkinson.
One shot features an array of muscular men using their football helmets to cover their private parts as they pose behind a sea of flowers.
Another snap shows the equestrian team rocking riding boots and modeling next to horses. One photo has the men’s lacrosse team striking a few poses at the Museum of Classical Archaeology .
Wilkinson explained to the South West News Service that each photo required fine margins in order to make sure nothing unseemly was actually seen. “There was a lot of finessing the poses; like ‘That’s got to go up slightly’ or ‘You’ve just moved half an inch,'” Wilkinson said about arranging the poses. “We used their sports equipment to maintain some kind of modesty.”
The athletes made sure to get permission to pose nude in various Cambridge hot spots, and Wilkinson said they were careful not to offend anyone with their nudity. However, the group did get caught by several people along the way.
“The window of opportunity to take the photos was relatively short,” he added. “We were a little anxious about being outside because we didn’t want to cause any offense. We had a few runners and dog walkers come by [and] some didn’t know where to look.”

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TikTok

5/30/22

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A stripper has gone viral on social media after claiming she danced naked in front of her own brother at his bachelor party.
The wild story was relayed by the exotic entertainer — known only as Kendra — in a TikTok posted May 15 that has since clocked upwards of 10 million views.
“I ended up being the stripper at my brother’s bachelor party and I didn’t realize until I was completely nak3d,” the dancer, whose handle is @kendradollx , wrote in text overlaying the video.
Kendra did not explain where or when the purported party occurred, but the brunette beauty has previously revealed that she works at a strip club “in the south.”
The TikTok in question has since sparked fierce debate, attracting hundreds of commenters apparently skeptical of the entertainer’s tawdry tale.
“I would’ve noticed all my brother’s friends and most definitely my brother,” wrote one woman below the contentious clip.
“Things that never happened: this,” as another detractor bluntly put it.
Others leapt to Kendra’s defense, sympathizing that they could only imagine how embarrassing the incident must have been.
“Do y’all realize how dark it is in those places?” one user snapped back at the social media cynics.
The Post has contacted Kendra to request further details about her erotic dancing disaster.
Yet another faction of commenters claimed karma was to blame for the groom-to-be having his sister show up as the stripper at his bachelor party, arguing that he shouldn’t have been ogling other women before his wedding.
“Strippers at bachelor parties is so weird to me. No shame to strippers at all, but I would never be okay with my boyfriend looking at a girl like that,” one asserted.
Kendra is the latest figure to go viral on TikTok by recounting a wild story that took place inside a strip club.
In March, California real estate agent Missy Peterson shocked her boyfriend of two years by secretly placing a tracker on his car, following him to a strip club and hopping onto its stage, where she then executed a devastatingly sexy stunt.
A TikTok testimonial detailing her saucy showcase has garnered more than 5 million views.
“I got onstage in a bra and thong that one of the strippers gave me, walked up to him and said, ‘Oh, you want a show? I’ll give you a show,’ ” Peterson, 40, told The Post of her X-rated exploit — which ultimately earned her $100 in tips.

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