Naked Husband And Wife

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Updated Aug 21, 2019; Posted Aug 21, 2019
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 30 years. He is my high school sweetheart and my best friend. We enjoy each other, and I thought we had a great relationship.
Occasionally, we “spice up” our sex life to keep things interesting. At his request, I have sexted him a few times with the understanding that he delete the photos once he has viewed them.
Well, the other night around 3 a.m., I heard his phone dinging over and over again. He was asleep so, thinking it was our daughter trying to reach us, I looked at it. To my horror, he had put pictures of me on a porn site through an app. There were pictures of me in various, unaware stages of nudity -- like in the shower or sleeping in bed -- and people were commenting lewd and disgusting things.
Needless to say, I feel beyond betrayed. My trust in him is broken, and I’m devastated at his behavior. His response is he is sorry and made a mistake. I don’t know what to do. I’m considering leaving him. He’s remorseful, but I don’t understand why he would do this. Help, please. -- PHOTO FINISH IN OHIO
DEAR PHOTO FINISH: You have my sympathy. A good husband would never do what yours did. It was not only a gross invasion of your privacy and an act of deception, but embarrassing and potentially dangerous if someone views the images and recognizes you. What his motives were, I can’t guess.
Everything you’re feeling is valid. If your marriage is to survive, the trust must somehow be restored. If you plan to stay married to him, a marriage and family therapist may be able to give you more insight. It would be worth your while for the two of you to talk to someone who is licensed, and soon.
DEAR ABBY: My fiance and I had a horrible loss this year, and we’re having trouble dealing with and working through our grief. His ex-wife murdered three of his four children and committed suicide.
We are both young and have been trying to find organizations where we can communicate with other parents who have lost their children, but a lot of group members just seem to want to one-up how tragic their loss was. Do you have any suggestions for online or in-person groups for people with similar experiences? It’s hard feeling so alone, and I’m sure there are other parents out there looking for this kind of information. -- ALONE AND GRIEVING
DEAR ALONE: I am sorry for the epic tragedy your fiance experienced, and with which you are both trying to cope. An organization that may be able to help you is The National Organization of Parents of Murdered Children (POMC). Founded in 1978, its mission is to provide support and guidance to all survivors of homicide victims, while working to create a world free of murder. It seeks to make a difference through ongoing emotional support, education, prevention, advocacy and awareness. To learn more, visit its website, which is pomc.org, or call 888-818-7662 or 513-721-5683.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Wife’s naked ambition hits raw nerve with husband
Dear Annie: I have been married to my wonderful wife for 25 years. When we were dating, all my friends were jealous because she was so movie-star beautiful. What they didn’t know was how incredible her figure was. We didn’t go swimming much, and she always dressed conservatively. I kidded her that I was the only one that knew what a grand figure she had. We had been married for a couple of years when a friend of hers told her about a nude beach not far away in Miami. To my surprise, she wanted to go, and she loved it, especially the attention she received. She had been so shy and conservative in her dressing that I don’t think she realized just how attractive she was in all ways.
That was about 25 years ago. Soon after the nude beach, we moved to a home with a pool and she insisted we surround the pool with a six-foot fence. She stayed nude at our pool regardless of who visited, except if it were our parents or if anyone brought their children. Then this carried over to indoors. She just stopped wearing clothes unless she was going out. Our social friends sort of got used to it, as did the mailman, FedEx guy and even our favorite pizza-delivery folks. She would just throw open the front door and welcome them.
Never have I thought she has been unfaithful; she just enjoys the freedom of nudity. We went to a few nudist clubs around Florida before we started having our children.
Annie, she is now in her mid-40s and while I still think she is lovely, and I love her more than ever, her figure has not aged well. She hasn’t changed her lifestyle much (she dresses when our kids have friends over), and I want to suggest that not everyone enjoys seeing her naked at her age. I just don’t have the nerve to tell her. Any suggestions? — Seen It All
Dear Seen It All: Your wife was never doing this for anyone’s enjoyment but her own. And if you didn’t take issue with the nudity when she was 20, then I think it’s shallow of you to take issue with it now. Still, I think your wife needs to be more conscientious and careful. Answering the door in the buff could constitute indecent exposure; at the very least, it could make someone uncomfortable, violating their boundaries. Encourage her instead to get back into visiting nudist clubs and retreats, where she can be with consenting adults who share the same interest.
Dear Annie: Recently, you printed a letter that suggested people start “round robin” letter-writing circles while we’re all cooped up at home. I agree that letter-writing can be a wonderful hobby. When my wife was in fifth grade, the class did a “pen pal” program where everybody wrote a letter to a person in a foreign country. She and her pen pal in Australia wrote back and forth, with each letter taking about a month to arrive, for the whole year. After that, my wife would send a Christmas card and a birthday card every year to her former pen pal. Sometimes they would share life updates.
Three years ago, we planned a trip to Australia and she told her pen pal about it. She said to come visit them. We stayed with them for a week, including a trip to the Outback. Then we took a train to Melbourne, where her daughter lived and stayed with them for several days. Then we went back to Sydney and flew home — one of our best vacations ever! — Phil
Dear Phil: What an amazing thing. Strangers really are just friends waiting to happen.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.

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